House Selling

[Damini]

Makes me want to poop into water bombs then throw them at windows.

We saw a house we loved. We put in an offer which they accepted, but said they wouldn't take it off the market until our house was sold. We rush, put our house on the market, spank lots of money making it beautiful, get a buyer at our ideal target, phone them back... and five days later they're still ignoring us. I'm phoning the estate agents, and apparently the owners "want to sell to us" but need to discuss it. Surely they'd already discussed it when they accepted our offer over a month ago. I hear that they are still showing people around. Then I see the house is no longer on the market, but have no idea whether thats because of our offer, or inspite of it.

Why is nothing simple? Kenny has developed an eye twitch and a very annoying habit of making me repeat every phone conversation I have with the estate agents verbatum, over and over again. If he says "Tell me again" one more time, I may well go on a killing spree.

Gah. GIVF HOUSE!!!

 

[tris-]

good luck. we moved into a new house 3 years ago as the solicitors said its ok to sell ours. 3 years later we are still trying to sell it and currently have it rented to someone whos paying half the mortgage. my parents are stressed all the time about and currently dont think we will ever sell it, cos the solicitor is being a cnut.

 

[Guest]

buying a house is one of the 3 most stressful things any person can ever go through.

just treat everyone with no respect at all and you wont go far wrong, you cant be nice you have to be hard.

its a bit like life.

shaft them before they shaft you.

hope you get the house but it looks like they have sold it to someone else who offered them more money or had no chain or had already sold their house......

 

[taB]

Hope it's on a hill!

 

[TdC]

I'm selling my flat atm. the high impact cleaning is a bitch


on the bright side I now know it's a bad idea to mix bleach, ammonia and soda salts!

 

[Damini]

Oh god, high impact cleaning is hateful. I took to hiding laundry in the boot of the car. Cupboards open up like traps in Indiana Jones movies, sending boulders or spikes cascading out. We accepted the offer on Thursday, and today our house is buried in pent-up untidy.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

The eye twitch will go as things ease off: had it myself (mine was left, which is ken's?) for a couple of months recently. Was very annoying, but added muchos character

 

[Raven]

I have developed an eye twitch in my left eye, doc seems to think its stress related due to my hell whole of a job.

 

[Damini]

Yes, character. Character that says "Come closer. It's possible I smell of wee, and want to set fire to you."

 

[Wazzerphuk]

But I like fire

 

[TdC]

 

[TdC]

Oh god, high impact cleaning is hateful. I took to hiding laundry in the boot of the car. Cupboards open up like traps in Indiana Jones movies, sending boulders or spikes cascading out. We accepted the offer on Thursday, and today our house is buried in pent-up untidy.

aye. I've hidden everything away in the shed. the council is coming in a week to take it all to the recycling place soylent green is people!

 

[old.Tohtori]

People stress too much

 

[Clown]

You need to teach me how to shit into a waterbomb!

 

[Damini]

Funnels. Pipe cleaner.

 

[Clown]

Ah, you use specially designed tools for the job.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Use laxatives for an extra messy balloon.

 

[Chilly]

estate agents are a bunch of fucking *****, damini. they take vast comission for doing fuck all (and sometimes actually working against you with the mortgage providers illegally to rip you off) and basically being phone jockeys. *****.

 

[Trem]

I have a twitch in my lower eye

 

[TdC]

a twitch called Babs?

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Babs prefers the other eye.

 

[WPKenny]

Well, the eye twitch is subsiding. It's in the left eye too. Weird.

They called us back later this afternoon and have told us they have accepted our offer! W00T!

What this means is a month or two of stress while we finalise all the details hoping no party dicks about and pulls out at the last minute.

Each step is a mini celebration that it's all moving in the right direction but is also tempered with the knowledge that it's not over yet and could all fall apart on a whim with no legal recourse.

I do hope it all goes well. Waiting 5 days to confirm they were selling to us was a hell of a long time to endure after all the frantic preparations we'd done to get our house in a position to market and get the offer. It was especially tense because we'd heard they were showing other people around the house.

 

[TdC]

woo, highly preemptive congrats are in order!

 

[Whipped]

Curious coincedence. Me and the missus had an offer accepted on a house this morning. It'll be our first house, so we are in that lovely of positions, having no house to sell.

The house we are buying has been owned by the same couple for 25 years, has had 4 kids raised in it and been lovingly looked after.

We got it for a decent price as well, because some dick of a woman pulled out on buying their place the day before they were due to move into the new place they'd bought.

Having read the above, I hope to not have any problems with this transaction. Going to see the mortgage broker tomorrow to get the money secured, then it's all downhill from there.

Yay!!! Mountains of debt

 

[Tom]

If they make any changes to the price upwards, tell them to fuck right off.

 

[Wij]

Don't allow anyone related to the buying party round your house after the deal has been agreed for ANY reason. They've agreed. They can only be after money off or a nice long delay.

I used to like people until I started moving houses

 

[Will]

Moving houses in Englandshire sounds very complicated. Good luck everyone.

 

[Draylor]

Not complicated: the system was just designed to give everyone the possibility to fuck everyone else over in as many places as possible.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Good news on the moves.

Can someone find a reason why it's the left eye that does it? Is the area of the brain that deals with stress on the right side? *shrug*

 

[Guest]

its your e-penis..................