Help with Amsterdam related shenanigans.

[nath]

ello,

A friend is having a stag do in amsterdam and we're trying to find out a bit of info as to what a good location for a hotel would be etc but we're a bit unsure. I vaguely recall the place being pretty damn small so it wouldn't matter where we book as it's all more or less walkable.

Is that total bollocks? Is there a specific district or something we should be looking for. Obviously bars and strip joints being the locations we're after.

Any hints/tips would be most appreciated.

 

[tris-]

on my visit i stayed at the amstel botel, located at oosterdok.

the breakfast is typical european affair. the rooms are adequate but you only get 1 pillow per person. there is free porn on channel 37 if i remember right.

from where i was, the red light district is simply a walk over the road to get to. just the very edge mind. i have no idea how i got into the district its self. if you keep walking though you eventually find something. if you can navigate to the dam square you then have 4 ways to take. you should have free maps in the hotel, at least we did. from the edge of the district it took us maybe 10 mins to get to there.

places of educational interest include the amsterdam dungeon and the heinekin experience. i highly recommend the second one. not only do you get 1.5 pints free, but you also get a free gift. its a short tram ride, i think tram 14.

but if you can navigate to dam square you will have no problems finding anything. amsterdam its self isnt small, but the centre area is very compact. you shouldnt have trouble walking all around the main parts. any further id suggest a tram.

la hotel

 

[mstreety88]

we stayed in a hostel whilst ther..was quite cheap if i recall...saved a lot of money for the strip joints, some of which if i recall were quite expensive!

 

[Bodhi]

We stayed in a hotel called the Globe just round the corner from the Red Light District, was a Scottish owned place with a sports bar underneath - this stayed open for most of the night. Was pretty cheap and they sorted us out with a 16 man room, and the sluts were abut a 5 minute walk away. There's a cracker in the window just opposite the Old Sailor pub on the main road of the RLD, and getting a hooker is probably better value than a strip-show in all honesty.

 

[Trem]

and getting a hooker is probably better value than a strip-show in all honesty.

...and about the only way Nath is ever going to get some.










*runs*

 

[Gef]

It doesnt really matter where you stay, the trams are like the London underground and will take you to pretty much every corner of the city with frightning efficiency.

I cant remember where we stayed, the name of the street was unpronouncable, as are most, it was very nice though

 

[GDW]

... and getting a hooker is probably better value than a strip-show in all honesty.

50 euro last year.........apparently

 

[Bodhi]

50 euro last year.........apparently

A wink and a smile can get that down to 30.



apparently

 

[Whipped]

When we went about 6 years ago, we stayed in a small hotel in the Red Light District. All I can remember is that the whole building was tilted towards the canal at what seemed like 45 degrees and had helpful bars across the balcony door so that you didn't accidently roll out in your sleep.

Then I got mugged at gun point and the holiday took a slight turn for the worse

 

[Utini]

A wink and a smile can get that down to 30.

But the cost rises to £3000 when you factor in years of anti-itching cream and trips to the clinic afterwards.

 

[Bodhi]

But the cost rises to £3000 when you factor in years of anti-itching cream and trips to the clinic afterwards.

All part of the collection.............

 

[nath]

...and about the only way Nath is ever going to get some.










*runs*

Unfortunately totally true, but I don't think I could bring myself to do it tbh :\

 

[Paradroid]

Amsterdam's pretty simple from what I recall:

train station + red light district = city centre


...beware the extra roads they have for trams + bikes, and, the fake roads (you walk over a cirb, and you think you're off the road and on the pavement only to discover you're on the fekin tram line or a bus lane! ... I remember running for my life a few times).

 

[Trem]

Unfortunately totally true, but I don't think I could bring myself to do it tbh :\

My mate did it in Portugal and he has genital warts now, I laughed my tits off when he told me. Its ok though because "she had nice tits" :/


I couldn't do it either, I couldn't even do it with the local slag, never have been very good at giving out Trem-sex tbh.

 

[Lester]

Genital wartrs are great - they make your widgey look bigger...

 

[Trem]

He needs all the help he can get (Stu).

 

[Lester]

Didn't he have a working girl as a girlfriend who would only let him do her up the 'arris as that was her reserved private slot for personal use?

 

[Trem]

Lol, he did do her up the wrong 'un on their first date so I think you are close to the truth. Imagine that lads, you are deeply in love with a girl, you move in with her, you spend all your savings on kitting the place out, you think shes going to work at a local pub each night only to find out she isn't working in a pub but the street corner outside.

He found out by ringing the pub she was meant to be working at to ask her what she wants for tea and they say that she hasn't worked there for years.

Not only that she was coming home each night and he was climbing on.......erk!



*follows Samm to work*