Havent in a while ....

[~Lazarus~]

..... so heres a new post.

A few chuckles to end your week

Below is a list of tell-tale signs that you are living too close to Essex (apologies to readers from Essex):

N.B. These remarks are intended to be taken humorously

* You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

* You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

* You think that a woman is "out of your league" because she asks for a glass with her Tennents Super lager.

* The phrase "Thunderbirds are go!" reminds you the off-licence has just opened.

* You wish your toilet at home could be as clean as the one in the bus station.

* One, or more, of your kids was born on a pub pool table.

* One, or more, of your kids was conceived on a pub pool table.

* You need only one more stamp on your card to get a freebie at Tam's Tattoos.

* The soundtrack on your wedding video ends with the loudhailer message: "This is the police . . ."

And lastly, the next wave of offensive has started against the Taliban :

http://members.sigecom.net/theclan/taliban.html

 

[bigbb]

heheh, funneh end too da week

my fav is:

* You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

heheh

/me fluffles Lazarus

 

[Wazzerphuk]

I love jokes about Essex. Nice one

 

[~Lazarus~]

best one ive heard about Essex is

What do Essex girls use for protection during sex ?

 

[xenon2000]

hehehe.....

The Taliban thing dragged on a bit though...


(edit... what's the answer, Laz?!)

 

[~Lazarus~]

What do Essex girls use for protection during Sex ??

A bus shelter of course (keeps the rain off)


http://www.flamjam.com/halloween/

 

[Wazzerphuk]

One I like is:

Why do essex girls wear big hoopy earings?











It gives them somewhere to rest their ankles.

 

[~Lazarus~]

how do you know if an Essex girl has reached orgasm ?



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She drops her bag of chips.

 

[bigbb]

heh, all of a sudden it feels like da weekend is here. Yippy!

 

[DAN200]

Heh! Just wait til SomeGuy reads THIS thread!

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by DAN200
Heh! Just wait til SomeGuy reads THIS thread!

DAN. Your talking shite again.

What you really meant to say is wait til someone reads this thread to Someguy.

Someguy cant read yet!!!!

 

[Sir Frizz]

is DAN200 up sumeguys arse or something?

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by the-frizz
is DAN200 up sumeguys arse or something?

Dont think so.

He cant get past TDC's feet

 

[bigbb]

I haven't seen olde SomeGuy on all day. I think his absence is quite destabalising, i'm not quite sure if bw forums are alive without (Users Browsing this Forum: SomeGuy ) at the top. Perhaps he's gone fishing?

/me casts rod

 

[Summo]

Actually I'm working in Brentwood (ESSEX, ffs!) and am now testing a new cable Internet connection. Extensively.

Later I shall be cruising Saafend Sea-Front in my Nova (to coin a phrase on these boards, 50% Vauxhall, 50% Halfords) wearing meh white socks and shouring, "OIII, OIIII!!!!!!"

Yer all bastids...

 

[~Lazarus~]

Lo matey.

Was worried about you there for about a nanosecond

 

[DAN200]

Originally posted by SomeGuy
Actually I'm working in Brentwood (ESSEX, ffs!) and am now testing a new cable Internet connection. Extensively.

Later I shall be cruising Saafend Sea-Front in my Nova (to coin a phrase on these boards, 50% Vauxhall, 50% Halfords) wearing meh white socks and shouring, "OIII, OIIII!!!!!!"

Yer all bastids...

Don't say I didnt warn ya all!!!

 

[~Lazarus~]

Yeah ...

Im shaking in my boots.

 

[Wij]

Anyone going punting ?

 

[Summo]

Originally posted by Lazarus
Im shaking in my boots.

That's cos I filled them with a 3 parts p00 to 1 part w33 concoction.

 

[Daffeh]

Originally posted by bigbb

/me fluffles Lazarus

OMFG DONT YOU FUCKERS EVER LEARN

STOP THE FLUFFLING OR I WILL....WILL...WILL....so something....

 

[Wij]

Jealosy is so unbecoming :/

 

[Summo]

/me fluffles Da... actually, no.

 

[bodhi]

 

[Daffeh]

SomeGuy, and ONLY SomeGuy may fluffle
Monday - Fridays 9:00am - 8:00pm
Saturdays 8:30am - 9:00pm
Sundays Fluffle free day

 

[DAN200]

Originally posted by Lazarus
And lastly, the next wave of offensive has started against the Taliban :

http://members.sigecom.net/theclan/taliban.html

Actually, this bits quite funny

 

[Testin da Cable]

remind me to fluffle you coming sunday daf

 

[Daffeh]

will do