Hard to Cope

[Little Boy]

Hey guys, in the last four days I have had my SAT's at school (yes im 13) and halfway through one i got pulled out and told my nan had just died and i broke down in tears infrotn of my teacher, I have been really upset since and i have been crying for ages. Until today when I found out my auntie, had died in a car accident at 5:00am this morning on the way back from work. I really dont know what to do to get my mind of it and i was wondering if anyone could help me and advise me to do some thins while I am still in the state I am. All I want to do is sit in my room and lie down. If my mum talks to me I cant pull myself together to talk. I feel really shitty aswell.

My auntie was the nicest person an its sad to see her go. Please can any1 help me in this tricky time please? Im finding it really hard to cope, all responses please and no flaming

Thanx
Jim

 

[Thadius]

Hey guys, in the last four days I have had my SAT's at school (yes im 13) and halfway through one i got pulled out and told my nan had just died and i broke down in tears infrotn of my teacher, I have been really upset since and i have been crying for ages. Until today when I found out my auntie, had died in a car accident at 5:00am this morning on the way back from work. I really dont know what to do to get my mind of it and i was wondering if anyone could help me and advise me to do some thins while I am still in the state I am. All I want to do is sit in my room and lie down. If my mum talks to me I cant pull myself together to talk. I feel really shitty aswell.

My auntie was the nicest person an its sad to see her go. Please can any1 help me in this tricky time please? Im finding it really hard to cope, all responses please and no flaming

Thanx
Jim

Sad to hear about your rough time. My advice is to keep sober. Keep your head free of any shit, ie dont take no drugs!

 

[Bugz]

It's impossible for any of us to comprehend the trauma you must be going through and I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

One thing i've discovered from the shit 3-4 weeks i've had recently is, as uncaring as it may sound, to get on with life. As the saying goes, whatever will be will be and God decides when to take life, a blessing indeed since your Auntie & nan get more time in heaven than a lot of us

That said, stay positive and try not to let it bring you too down. I'm sure your nan and auntie wouldn't want you to grief over them too long but rather try and do what occurs in a wake - where you celebrate their lifes and think positively for them.

You should be happy you have such strong bonds with your family as I know alot of us here on the forum probably haven't got such a blessing.

Hope it gets better for you mate.

 

[old.Tohtori]

There's no greater time of sadness then right when sorrow strikes, for that is when the healing begins and each step takes you closer to an easier day. -Paraphrased writer:

The best, and ironically the hardest, thing you can do is to let yourself grief, let yourself cry, shout and let yourself miss her. Start living when you're ready again and not before. Pushing this aside won't help, live it through and you'll feel that much better, that much faster.

Hang in there buddy.

 

[Dukat]

Hi mate, sounds like you're having a difficult time at the moment.

The best advice I can give is to arrange to have councilling - its sounds to me like you really need to talk to someone who is trained to help you cope with rough times.

I'm online on msn atm, if you just want to rant to someone anonymously, feel free to add me if so

Its difficult when you lose someone, at first all you feel you can do is to dwell on the loss, however before long you will beable to remember your nan and auntie and think of the good times - the positive things.

Being sad isnt unnatural when someone dies though, in a way its good to try to "mourn in the time of mourning" as toh said, and time does heal all wounds and although you may not feel like it now you will beable to move on eventually.

 

[Gotrag]

Hi mate, sounds like you're having a difficult time at the moment.

The best advice I can give is to arrange to have councilling - its sounds to me like you really need to talk to someone who is trained to help you cope with rough times.

I'm online on msn atm, if you just want to rant to someone anonymously, feel free to add me if so

I'm with Dukat on them two, wow never thought I'd say that

Anyway dude I know what it's like to loose someone close, saying that alot of the time it dosn't matter if they are close or not, death is a 'terrible' thing to have to deal with.

I can't even begin to imagne how you feel after you lost two people in such a short space of time & in your SAT's month, alot of people have said it but I'm going to say it again.

You need to try and carry on, don't forget but move forward. Your Nan & Auntie would want very much for you to do well in School & SAT's are very important so as a gesture to them if you havn't already, get them done.

I lost my Nan when I was a little bit older then you and no the pain, it will get better after time but the next few months are gonna be tough, just need people there to help you through it, may not sound like much but if you ever need anyone to talk to, drop me a line, can PM me her for my MSN if you wish, pretty much always online and if I can help in anyway I'd be happy to since I didn't have anyone there for me when I was going through it.

 

[Vladamir]

My condolences mate, thats a really sucky situation

 

[Azurus]

It's impossible for any of us to comprehend the trauma you must be going through and I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

One thing i've discovered from the shit 3-4 weeks i've had recently is, as uncaring as it may sound, to get on with life. As the saying goes, whatever will be will be and God decides when to take life, a blessing indeed since your Auntie & nan get more time in heaven than a lot of us

That said, stay positive and try not to let it bring you too down. I'm sure your nan and auntie wouldn't want you to grief over them too long but rather try and do what occurs in a wake - where you celebrate their lifes and think positively for them.

You should be happy you have such strong bonds with your family as I know alot of us here on the forum probably haven't got such a blessing.

Hope it gets better for you mate.

Stop filling the poor boys head with all that God nonsense

 

[Overdriven]

Urgh =( Sorry to hear that mate =( Best advise was given, mourn with the family and keep your head clean. =(

 

[DocWolfe]

I've always taken people dying pretty well to be honest. Though something really shit happened to me earlier this year.

My auntie was diagnosed with throat cancer, and she was in hospital and she was basically on her last legs, so I wanted to see her while she still had all her marbles. As from what I was told she was starting to become a bit incoherant.

So anyway, I had arranged to go see her on the friday, I'm not living with my parents anyway and to see her would have required a 3 hour journey. So I took the day off work, and was all ready to see her on the Thursday night. All packed and everything.

Then I got a call from my cousin at about 8pm telling me she had died. I was well fucked off. Couldn't beleive it at all. I just wished I could have seen her before she went. I had a bit of a sob after, but aside from that I didn't really show it.

You just need to realise that there's no point falling to peices over it. Theres going to be alot more, and its not the end of the world. Good luck.

 

[Little Boy]

Thanx for the replies guys, they have really helped

 

[tris-]

man thats fuckin harsh :\

reading stuff like that makes you realise half your own problems are not even worth bothering about.

 

[MaCaBr3]

I had 3 deaths in 3 weeks last year: my grandmother passed away after a long struggle against her illness, one of my best friends got ran over the night before I went to Thailand and during my holiday in Thailand, my mate called me to say his brother-in-law (who I've known for years) passed away too.

But live goes on, I was more in shock by the death of my friend because it was very sudden. I cried a couple of hours when I heard the news, but I can't be sad for days either. I had the initial emotional shock and then I moved on with it.

Ofcourse I'm older then you kid, I learned how to cope with it. But you have to be in company of friends and family instead of locking yourself up. That's only gonna make it worse.

 

[Ezteq]

hang in there baby, Ez inc

/hug
xxx

 

[Lamp]

Hang tight bro

 

[Mabs]

My advice is to keep sober. Keep your head free of any shit, ie dont take no drugs!

most sensible thing ive seen you post thad

and talk to people, friends, family, relatives. shitty situation to be sure, you have my condolences

 

[Himse]

Don't loose memory of them completely, think about all of the good things that you did together too

Hope you get through it mate, im sorry to hear of their loss =[

All the best..
/Himse

 

[Solo]

Keep yourself busy and try and be in company as much as possible I'd say. Will help you take your mind off things.

 

[Bahumat]

Your family will all want you to do your best at school. As long as you try your best they'll be happy for you whatever your results.

Its a true shame what happend. I dont know if there is after life etc, but im sure your aunt and nan want you to stay strong and give the SAT's your best shot.

Sometimes talking to your family can be difficult. Maybe speaking to a friend would help you. Also if you do cry infront of a friend dont think they will laugh or think you silly. They may have had the same type of thing happen to them?

 

[Mey]

Hey sorry to hear about the death of your Gran and aunty, i can only imagine how it must feel for you at this time. When somebody dies that we know people can feel all sorts of emotions, sadness, guilt, anger, relief etc.. The thing to remeber though is that there is no right or wrong way to feel. We all feel different things. And there is no time limit on how long we can feel this way, sometimes we will feel good and others we will feel bad, its hard but you never will "get over the death" of someone you love, but in time you will learn to live with it and your life will grow around it.

You could try making a memory box/book where you stick all the things that remind you of your Gran and Aunty, then when your feeling down you can look through all the stuff in the book and remeber the good times that you shared together.

If you don't want to do that, you could write a letter to them explaining how you feel and that you miss them. So on.

As has been said already talking to people about how you feeling really does help alot, when we bottle things up inside we explode and find it difficult to cope, letting some of these things out helps relieve some of the pressure and makes it easier for us to cope. It may seem like it's hard to talk to these people, but they may be feeling the same as you.

 

[Zita]

I am only 2 years older than you, and about 1 year ago the same happend to me, my nan died, I just let it all out. Mate, just try to get threw it, and i really feel for you mate. Hang in there.

 

[Zita]

One more thing mate, let your fiends help you, dont push them away. Trust me, please.