Hangovers

Dafft

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Jan 28, 2004
Messages
297
Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?

1 star hangover *

No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere
disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You
can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are
craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.

2 star hangover **

Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You
may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has
wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanour
about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you
really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails

3 star hangover ***

Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet
and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume
reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends
after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right
now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching
Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon
of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed
once.

4 star hangover ****

Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might
honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted you
for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore
nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial
spot shaving, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgem
cars, your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of
Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one
the following: 1. Home time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or 3. A
time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) ***

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the
employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't
give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva
and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last
of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option
 

WiZe^

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 27, 2003
Messages
2,659
Dafft said:
5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) ***

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the
employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't
give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva
and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last
of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option

This is me everytime i drink :<
 

Straef

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Feb 21, 2004
Messages
5,890
I don't do hangovers :p I just get tired :E
 

Lethul

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
8,433
if you "don't do hangovers" you havent had enough to drink, noob :)
 

Drav

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
344
4 mostly and sometimes 5, mainly becauseI have this annoying habbit of after drinking 9 pints taking shots of whiskey with each pint after....mixing drinks equals self pwnzor!
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
ive had a 6star before. i will try describe it below -

wake up 2 miles from home with no transport. as you move,you can feel your brain moving in your skull. each step causes 100 knives to pierce your head. the pain is so intense you sometimes stop dead in your tracks and nearly fall over. you DO cry, but tears dont come out. there is a 4" midget in your head playing the steel drums. when you heart beats, you feel the second pulse. but it feels like your brain is expanding and shrinking again. 20 pints of water later and you can finally pee a tiny bit. your stomach feels like there is a washing machine inside it.
 

Varna

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Sep 17, 2005
Messages
752
Aye, same as above - Like you wake up on a bus and the bus driver is shouting 'You gonna get off yourself or am I gonna have to kick your ass off myself?'.
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
thankfully i woke up on a sandy white beach right next to the med sea. so it wasnt all that bad to begin with :)
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom