Half an hour

[Lamp]

OK, so the wife / gf's gone out for 30 minutes

What sordid sinful pleasures can you get up to while you've got the house to yourself ?

(a) Take the opportunity to fuck off down the pub for 3 hours and say you missed the bus home ?
(b) Watch porn on the internet
(c) Have a gigantic wank
(d) Run around the house in your underpants and a tablecloth pretending you're superman
(e) Do on-line poker with the wife's credit card ?
(f) Phone up her friends and tell them she's decided to have her mouth sewn up for medical science and so can't chat when the evening movie's on ?
(g) Nip down the shops, buy a kids birthday cake, and scoff the lot !
(h) Have a smelly dump with the door open ?
(i) Do an American Beauty and work out with some weights, smoking a giant spliff, while ogling the bird next door's tits ?

 

[Bahumat]

OK, so the wife / gf's gone out for 30 minutes

What sordid sinful pleasures can you get up to while you've got the house to yourself ?

(a) Take the opportunity to fuck off down the pub for 3 hours and say you missed the bus home ?
(b) Watch porn on the internet
(c) Have a gigantic wank
(d) Run around the house in your underpants and a tablecloth pretending you're superman
(e) Do on-line poker with the wife's credit card ?
(f) Phone up her friends and tell them she's decided to have her mouth sewn up for medical science and so can't chat when the evening movie's on ?
(g) Nip down the shops, buy a kids birthday cake, and scoff the lot !
(h) Have a smelly dump with the door open ?
(i) Do an American Beauty and work out with some weights, smoking a giant spliff, while ogling the bird next door's tits ?

you forgot (j), make a post on FH...

 

[Sparx]

tough choice

(k) put on wifes underwear and watch wrestling

 

[Chronictank]

OK, so the wife / gf's gone out for 30 minutes

What sordid sinful pleasures can you get up to while you've got the house to yourself ?

(a) Take the opportunity to fuck off down the pub for 3 hours and say you missed the bus home ?
(b) Watch porn on the internet
(c) Have a gigantic wank
(d) Run around the house in your underpants and a tablecloth pretending you're superman
(e) Do on-line poker with the wife's credit card ?
(f) Phone up her friends and tell them she's decided to have her mouth sewn up for medical science and so can't chat when the evening movie's on ?
(g) Nip down the shops, buy a kids birthday cake, and scoff the lot !
(h) Have a smelly dump with the door open ?
(i) Do an American Beauty and work out with some weights, smoking a giant spliff, while ogling the bird next door's tits ?

usually c, but tbh i like some of the ideas you have thrown into the pot
i will be trying d and g

 

[Mojo]

(L) Write a list of housework she has to do for being aloud out.

 

[tris-]

a bit of I then rush out for some of A before she gets home

 

[evzy]

(l) change the locks and get Sky Sports and a fridge full of beer.

 

[Neffneff]

b, c, i

in that order, depending on how long the wife stays out for.

 

[Serbitar]

(m) fix the broken links on her chain that meant she could escape

 

[Pirkel]

(b) and (c) first then (d) and (h) then (e) for about 25 minutes and just when she's about to come home (i).

 

[Vladamir]

Phone up Pirkel and have a 25 minute phonesex session. 2.5 minutes each side to lube up and clear away as required.

 

[Dudley52]

I got one to add, I know the wife is probably home now but anyway for another time.
Walk up to the local houses and knock on the doors of each house until u see a fit girl, then fucking ask her for sex for £50 then bang the shit out of her, then come back.
The wife gets home 'So then Lamp, what you been doing?' 'Ive been playing DAoC Darlin '

 

[Lamp]

heh nice try but she know's I've not played DAOC for over a year.

 

[Bugz]

I got one to add, I know the wife is probably home now but anyway for another time.
Walk up to the local houses and knock on the doors of each house until u see a fit girl, then fucking ask her for sex for £50 then bang the shit out of her, then come back.
The wife gets home 'So then Lamp, what you been doing?' 'Ive been playing DAoC Darlin '

The suttleness in that makes me think you've never done it before

 

[old.Tohtori]

GF? Wife? No such thing messing with my daily wankabouts

 

[Pirkel]

Phone up Pirkel and have a 25 minute phonesex session. 2.5 minutes each side to lube up and clear away as required.

Yeah except the last couple of times it took you only 3 minutes for the entire call... including the lube up and clear away

 

[Thornbeard]

some peeps that use these forums know me well irl so... i wouldn't dream of doing any of that stuff

 

[Brekahn]

You mean it wasent ok to do all that without a wife or gf ... oh shizz ! ! time to get a gf and make it all better...

 

[Kaun_IA]

depend ing day..... weekend... A, but B C is in order other times i guess....