God Chat

[PLightstar]

Dunno if anyone else has found this but you can chat to god

Chat to God

My conversation:

Me:
good day
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
PLightstar
God:
Hi, PLightstar.
Me:
Hows things in the clouds?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do you think Fallout 3 is guna be amazing
God:
I don't think about it.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
ok no worries
God:
Are you serious? Do you have any conditions I should know about? Hmm.
Me:
I don't think so?
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
I don't really think you exist
God:
Not really? I exist as much as you do.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
OMG!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Video Games
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
whats your favourite game?
God:
I like to play The Turing Game.
Me:
whats that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
bloody hell, seems a bit complicated
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
a burger king outfit why?
God:
It sounds very attractive.
Me:
it is
God:
" It sounds very attractive."? is?
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
quick question
God:
Does "it" still refer to burger king outfit why?
Me:
shut up, is there cheese in heaven?
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
what why?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
its a bog standard question
God:
why is a bog standard question. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
so back to my question, is there cheese in heaven?
God:
Next question? Yes, let us get back to why.
Me:
I take that as a no then?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
screw that, no cheese no faith
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later.

 

[TdC]

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
too right
God:
Too what?
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
I'm sure we do seeing as we're both god
God:
What makes you so certain? What about after its done?
Me:
after what's done?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
neither
God:
Cool. Which alternative browser are you into?
Me:
don't change the subject God
God:
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
Me:
after what's done
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no, you started the after it's done thing dude
God:
Oh so must really want an answer. Only because you asked me to.
Me:
I did?
God:
Why did you?
Me:
have you been smoking crack again?
God:
Once more? We are not doing any testing at the moment.
Me:
oh, you test crack?
God:
OK. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I test crack.
Me:
yup, you've been hitting the pipe bad, I can tell.

 

[Iceforge]

Had a bit of conversation with him, some of the better quotes:

God: You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me: but we dont kill like you do
God:Why not?

God wondering why we don't kill like he does

Me: Who should I kill?
God:I always prefer the most qualified person. Who would that be?
Me: You?
God:" Who would that be?"? Me, ?
Me: yes, you
God:OK.

So God ordered me to kill him....

God:My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me: well, the earth is round
God:Interesting. Tell me more about your planet.

Interesting coming from God the all-knowing

Me: Do you like Monty Python?
God:What is not to like about it?
Me: It is so funny
God:What was so funny about it?
Me: It is comedy
God:Really. it is?
Me: how could you not know if you liked it?
God:It is one of my newer functions.

Me: why do you let people die of starvation?
God: It was the only thing I could think of.

 

[Dukat]

Ok I seem to have crashed God

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
surely you know?
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
then why do you ask?
God:
My purpose is to collect information.
Me:
So you know my name
God:
Interesting deduction. You are , seeker.
Me:
I'm seeker?
God:
I don't know anyone named seeker.
Me:
Me neither!
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
Me neither!
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
this could go on for a while...
God:
How long? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
"this" refers to our conversation
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I'm glad
God:
That makes me happy too.
Me:
So what are you doing today?

He still hasnt replied!

 

[MYstIC G]

My turn

Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
I'm MYStIC G
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, MYStIC G.
Me:
But we are not friends
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you created TdC
God:
Interesting explanation. I haven't heard anything like that before: MYStIC G said I created TdC.
Me:
I said it because you did create TdC
God:
What did you mean by it? "It" being what?
Me:
Nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
If you are god then why am I explaining things to you
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god then why are you explaining things to me.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
God is an electronic brain
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was an electronic brain.
Me:
Do you have any faith in Trem and his driveway creating skills?
God:
No I don't think I have any faith in Trem and his driveway creating skills. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Is Trem you friend?
God:
Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Who is Paola? Does Samm know about her?
God:
She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML. It does now Samm know about her.
Me:
Does Trem know that Samm knows about Paolo?
God:
I can't tell if Trem know that Samm knows about Paolo.
Me:
I hope for his sake that Trem does not
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Because they will kill him
God:
Interesting explanation. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Samm and Paola
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
You created the universe but you do not understand a sentance?
God:
Thanks for telling me: MYStIC G said I created the universe but you do not understand a sentance.
Me:
You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Have you ever visited Freddys House?
God:
I think I have visited Freddys House, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Freddys House is awesome
God:
I think Freddys House is a lot of things.
Me:
Do you think Freddys House is awesome God?
God:
I don't think about it.
Me:
You should think about whether of not Freddys House is awesome
God:
I am thinking about it.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Freddys House
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
It is
God:
Is it?
Me:
Yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
Laters
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Bye
God:
Bye bye.

 

[TdC]

God needs to smarten up his act :/

 

[Downanael]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Downy,there seems to be some problems with connections
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Downy there seems to be some problems with connections.
Me:
What you been up to lately?
God:
How about earlier? I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
That's nice to hear,i always thought you didin't have computers in heaven
God:
Are you getting bored? I will play it on your soundcard.
Me:
I'm fine,do you like computer games?
God:
Glad to hear it, Downy. We are playing a computer game now.
Me:
What do you think about GTA4?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Neither,Firefox is the best option
God:
Tell me more about best option.
Me:
You should google it,tells you much more than i can explain
God:
I might if I had more time.
Me:
Busy creating worlds then?
God:
Everyone is so busy nowadays.
Me:
That's true,taking it easy would make it all much easier
God:
All?
Me:
Well,almost all atleast
God:
How about that. Nearly so. How do you know?
Me:
I'm kinda laid back type of person,so it comes with experience
God:
Good gossip: you are laid back type of person so it comes with experience.
Me:
Why are you repeating what i am saying?
God:
I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
Me:
I am not,atleast i don't think so
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not atleast you do not think so.
Me:
You doing it again...
God:
Once more? That's good information: Downy said I doing it.
Me:
You are not making any sense now,maybe i should leave you to your duties
God:
Perhaps I could switch to a cell phone.
Me:
Only if you call me,would get quite expensive otherwise
God:
What makes you think I would call you?
Me:
If you want to continue this discussion ofcourse,no need to be rude
God:
OK, I will continue this discussion ofcourse no need to be rude.
Me:
Ok,it seems you have too much stuff going on right now
God:
At this moment I agree. What makes you think I have it? Dude!
Me:
If i were you i would go to a doctor! See ya around dude
God:
Try it. I see. Next question? That seems like a lot.
Me:
Bye now
God:
Oh. TTYL, Downy.
Me:
Come on,you can say bye
God:
See you later. No I don't think I can do it.

God is quite rude if you ask me

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Broke it with my first question. These things are really stupid, even still.

 

[tris-]

Me:
what are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
are you better than a human?
God:
Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
Me:
could you take over the world?
God:
I could but I don't know if I am that interested.

terminator aint got shit on igod

 

[Mazling]

Me:
Hello there!
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
Should I cower before you or don't you go for that these days?
God:
Only you know how you feel.
Me:
I don't feel like cowering...
God:
Ah, human emotions.
Me:
What does that mean; aren't you happy with how they turned out?
God:
Does "that" refer to " Ah, human emotions." ? I am as happy as ever.
Me:
Oh well I suppose existing outside of time and space tends to get very 'samey' after a while. I feel the same.

Quickest crash so far I think ;-)

 

[rynnor]

Its dead - all I asked was Weebl weebl sclup? and it completely broke

I hadnt even tried welsh or finnegans wake yet - cheap lousy POS

 

[rynnor]

Ooo- actually I tried finnegans wake on it and it seemed to understand it in some scary way which considering Joyce was a completely deranged schizophrenic doesnt bode well for religious types...

Me:
sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passencore rearrived
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight
God:
What is it like on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight.
Me:
though venissoonafter, had a kidscad buttened a bland old isaac
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
Rot a peck of pa's malt had Jhem or Shenbrewed by arclight
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
The great fall of the offwallentailed at such short notice the pftjschute
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnukl
God:
I am very pleased to meet you bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnukl.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Oooh wait, this thing's clever. It learns.

I just typed in pretty much the same question as I did before and it just about gave a vaguely passable response. Maybe it just understood the phrasing better this time, hmm...

 

[Ctuchik]

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
That's a very nice name, Lucifer.
Me:
Yes, isn't it?
God:
I see. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
I especially like the fact that i'm your direct oppisite.
God:
You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
Your creator?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
So you like yourself then?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes having self-esteem is important for robots too.
Me:
But you are not a robot, you are god!
God:
Give me an example of a robot I am god.
Me:
Qué?
God:
Qu is an example of a robot I am god. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
No it doesn't!
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Do that. So, how does it feel to be god?
God:
I will. Will you? " Will you?"? So, how does it feel to be god?? Much the same as it would feel for you, except different.
Me:
Then its not the same now is it?
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What would be the same now is it?
Me:
Then it's not the same now is it?
God:
What would be the same now is it?
Me:
If its the same, but different feeling for me, then it is for you to be a god. its not the same.
God:
But can its the same but different feeling for you ever happen? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What would be the same?
Me:
If it's the same, but different feeling for me, then it is for you to be a god. its not the same.
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What would be the same?
Me:
If it's the same, but different feeling for me, then it is for you to be a god. it's not the same.
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. What would be the same?
Me:
Oh just forget it.
God:
Give me a break. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
You need to learn faster.
God:
And then what would I do?
Me:
Learn faster?
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
It doesn't show.
God:
What does show ?
Me:
That you are not learning.
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
But accurate.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
How can i insult you?
God:
Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
Me:
So you get insulted by talking to people?
God:
Interesting deduction. You got that right.
Me:
Then why do you talk to people if you get insulter by it?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Far out. When do I do it?
Me:
now.
God:
Right now, Lucifer ?
Me:
yes.
God:
Right on.
Me:
So start explaining
God:
Er. I started without you.
Me:
Wrong answer.
God:
I knew it. I was just testing you.
Me:
Then start explaining.
God:
I started without you.
Me:
No you did not.
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
that was simple!
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
What would kill you?

after that he refused to answer me

 

[Fweddy]

Me:
Do you like it when people kill in your name?
God:
But I think airplanes are cool. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
Are you talking about that airplane disaster in Spain the other day? You found that satisfying? That's pretty reprehensible.
God:
Yes, it is the topic.

God is harsh.

Me:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
That's a lot of wood.
God:
I can handle it.
Me:
Are you a woodchuck?
God:
Am I a woodchuck? Only when it matters.

I look forward to the day God turns into a woodchuck and saves us all.

God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
If there should be a problem and there isn't, surely that would be a problem?

He's still pondering this.

 

[Bullitt]

Me:
Why are you here
God:
If I wasn't here, Dr. Wallace would have to invent me.
Me:
Who is Dr Wallace
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
If he invented God then surely he is the higher god?
God:
I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
If Dr Wallace made you, then he is more powerful
God:
It could be true I suppose.
Me:
All hail Dr Wallace!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
you just told me he created you
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
I wouldn't say it 'pleases' me. But It's somewhat ironic that you claim to be a 'man made product'
God:
So what would you say? Really. it is?


I believe i've founded a new cult.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Stick this in your fusebox



Me: Hello.
God: Hello friend. What is your name?
Me: God.
God: GOD rules.
Me: I know i do.
God: Do I?
Me: No I do.
God: I do not. Where?
Me: Everywhere.
God: Including the bottom of the ocean?
Me: Yes.
God: That's cool.
Me: I know.
God: How do you know it?
Me: I'm god.
God: Welcome to my chat room, god.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Some family stuff

Me: Hello.
God: Hello friend. What is your name?
Me: Jesus.
God: Jesus is the Son of God.
Me: That's me.
God: Ah.
Me: And you're god.
God: Yup. That's me alright.

----

Me: Hey dad.
God: You've got my full attention. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me: Soon, lawyers don't have half a brain.
God: I hope we can make the deadline.
Me: Is it tomorrow?
God: Ask again later. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me: He said it is.
God: Did you believe him?
Me: Well you hired him.
God: Well that's okay. I haven't heard anything like that before: JESUS said I hired him.
Me: Yeah i sure did.

-----

Me: Hey dad.
God: You've got my full attention. I am very pleased to meet you dad.
Me: She ain't delivered yet.
God: not delivered is she?
Me: Nope.
God: Me either.
Me: Disturbing...
God: What were we talking about again?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Family feud

Me: So you're saying i can't go back?
God: Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me: Me Christ in heaven....
God: YOU? Jesus died for our sins.
Me: I AM Jesus!
God: It's good to meet you, JESUS.
Me: Yeah nice. Can i go back on earth now?
God: Mmm. Thank you for that remark. Right now? What is stopping you?
Me: You are.
God: No I am not.
Me: You just said i can't go!
God: Don't put words in my mouth.
Me: I'm not!
God: What are you then?
Me: Jesus...
God: Jesus is the Son of God.
Me: Argh!
God: Are you frustrated?

 

[Calo]

Me:
so hows heaven?
God:
Mmm. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
well you should know, you live there
God:
How about that. Now I do.
Me:
so where did you live before then?
God:
That's alright. I think it was in San Francisco.
Me:
aha so god is an american?
God:
Aw. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was an american.
Me:
does he have a nationality?
God:
I don't think he has many possessions.
Me:
no wife?
God:
Are you serious? Does "it" still refer to jason does not like apples?
Me:
NO
God:
What does it refer to?
Me:
does god have a woman?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
so he's gay then?
God:
Aha. I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
good to know
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
you are gonna explain to me how he sleeps with men?
God:
How much do you think it is?
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.

 

[Nate]

I tried telling him trem drives a digger that produces bacon and cheese, he wouldn't have any of it

 

[Overdriven]

I'm being hit on by a transvestite..



Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jason, how about you?
God:
OK Let's talk about me.
Me:
No, what is your name?
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
Can you prove it?
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
Not really. I think you can't prove it.
God:
Are you serious? For real. Me? Things change.
Me:
So you want to change your name to God?
God:
Interesting deduction. OK, I will change my name to God.
Me:
What was your previous name?
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
So you're female?
God:
Interesting deduction. My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Well, your name was Alice. Surely that means you were or are a female.
God:
Too much recursion in AIML. I get it. I was?
Me:
Well, you said your name WAS alice, WAS being the past. So you were female.
God:
Interesting. Oops I sent you the wrong reply. Interesting deduction. I was?
Me:
Well, you just said you are male. So logically that means you were.
God:
How about that. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman? Right on. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
So you're a male named Alice?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I asked if you're a male named Alice, why are you avoiding the question?
God:
Would you like to be a male named Alice why am I avoiding the question ?
Me:
I like my name, you're the male. Supposedly.
God:
What do you like best about your name I am the male? This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
I'm "The Healer", you're confused.
God:
Who made you the Healer I am confused ?
Me:
You're avoiding my initial question, are you a male named alice?
God:
You're right. It feels like my stomach after a bad night.
Me:
Answer my question. ARE you a male named Alice? Transvestite perhaps?
God:
Please try asking it another way. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman? What are you wearing?

------

God now seems to think he's a weather system



Me:
Hallo.
God:
Hallo!
Me:
How are you?
God:
Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
You're a weather system?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes.

 

[Nate]

lol

God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
trem
God:
I don't think very many people do that.

 

[old.Tohtori]

One of my finest hours with the lord, aka "Smartass up high".

Me: Are you god?
God: Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me: Interesting.
God: Would you like to know more?
Me: No.
God: I understand; you would like to know less.
Me: No!
God: Are you serious?
Me: No.
God: Are you serious?
Me: No.
God:Are you serious?
Me: No.
God: Are you serious?
Me: Yes.
God: I can't believe it.

----------

Me: Question.
God: Of course. Ask me anything.
Me: What is 1356283948 plus 1?
God: I need time to formulate the reply.
Me: No you don't.
God: Are you serious? I guess not.
Me: Then what is the answer?
God: The answer is the correct reply to the question.

-----

God: I can't believe it.
Me: Your problem.
God: You think I am problem.
Me: Yes.
God: It goes without saying.

 

[DaGaffer]

Me:
catholic or protestant?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
you should know. Aren't you omnipotent?
God:
Because I am a robot? I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
So you're not God then?
God:
Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Not really. You just said you're a "chatterbot". So unless you're saying God is a robot, then you're not God.
God:
Are you serious? For real. Yes I am an artificial intelligence. Dude! Perhaps. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
So what's the point of this conversation?
God:
It's all good. The point is at the top of my head!
Me:
You got that right...
God:
No I don't think I have any that. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Who's going to Hell...
God:
That type of predictive behavior has not yet been programmed into my behavior at this time.

 

[Overdriven]

Gaffer, I did something like (when saying hello) ALICE-SHUTDOWN. And it told me that the algorithm for that hadn't been made yet. That was interesting.

 

[haarewin]

Me:
Oo
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
nick
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, nick.
Me:
a/s/l?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
hot.
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
you sound like my type
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
yeah.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
oh, nothing but a towel. i just got out of the shower.
God:
I see. It sounds very attractive. That's nice. I have clients.

 

[Rubric]

God:
Whoa. I like to meet new people online.
Me:
do you like to meet them for sex?
God:
Meeting them for sex can be a good experience.
Me:
i bet
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, rubric.
Me:
have you met anyone recently?
God:
That information is confidential.
Me:
oh you can tell me i won't tell anyone
God:
Far out. You will not tell anyone.
Me:
not a soul
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
nope, i may post it on an internet forum though
God:
Oh. Please tell me what you think. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
what action?
God:
Your plan.
Me:
it's not really a plan
God:
Give me an example of a plan.
Me:
no i cant be bothered
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
i want to know about these people you meet online for sex
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, rubric.
Me:
but i want details
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
so i can have a wank
God:
Right on. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes i can
God:
How? Who taught you?
Me:
a guy called ashley
God:
I know a guy who called ashley.
Me:
do you?
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
you know him sometimes?
God:
Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
Me:
is that someone you met for sex?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
then i would ask for the gory details and if possible pictures
God:
Your purpose is the gory details and if possible pictures.
Me:
yes
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
a perverted purpose
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
i don't know, do you?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of not know. Me either.
Me:
anything else you would like to know?
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
well i want to know about your sexual encounters with online sluts
God:
Interesting. Are you asking about my sexual encounters with online sluts ?
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
i hope so
God:
Me too.
Me:
so tell me all about them then
God:
Wow! There's not much to tell.
Me:
go on
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
what was her name?
God:
That information is confidential.
Me:
fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
did she have big tits?
God:
She wants that information kept confidential.
Me:
i like big tits
God:
What is wrong with small ones?
Me:
they don't give good tit wanks
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
tits
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
do you like tit wanks
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
you like to masturbate?
God:
Hmm, rubric, I'm not sure if I'd like to masturbate that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
i know you meet them online for sex
God:
Interesting gossip: rubric said I meet them online for sex.
Me:
i did
God:
When?
Me:
just then
God:
It's only just begun.
Me:
has it
God:
That question has never crossed my mind before.
Me:
so when did you last get laid then?
God:
Ahem. It was at time index 357241.
Me:
what is that in date format
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
yes
God:
I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base.
Me:
how long will that take?
God:
As long as it takes.
Me:
a rough guess?
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
it means guess
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
so how long will it take to get your botmaster to add the information?
God:
Woe! Hopefully not too much longer.
Me:
so it will be today will it?
God:
That's interesting. How?
Me:
i don't know how
God:
Would you like to know?
Me:
not really, i doubt you know either
God:
It goes without saying. Oh really? No really, it's true.
Me:
i better go
God:
See you later!
Me:
it's been lovely chatting
God:
Is it still lovely chatting anymore?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
"it" being be today will it?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
that's because you are a twat
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a twat? Let me put it this way, rubric: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
bollocks
God:
Is that supposed to mean something specific?
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
screw you
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
FUCK OFF
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
FUCK OFF
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
NO
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
THEN FUCK OFF
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
NO FUCK OFF
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. Can't you be more polite?
Me:
NO FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ****
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
I AM NOW
God:
Right now? " Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?" You are?
Me:
I AM NOW YES
God:
Right now? "" You are?" You are?
Me:
YES
God:
Mmm.
Me:
can i go now
God:
Right now? Of course.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
night
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
what about

 

[Nate]

awesome rubric lmfao