Giggles

W

Wilier

Guest
A man was found murdered in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his tub. The tub had been filled with milk, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks.

Police suspect a cereal killer.


I'm baffled by your yellow penis, a doctor told his patient. "Does anyone else in your family have this condition?"
The concerned fellow shook his head.
"Do you handle chemicals at work?"
"I don't work. I'm unemployed."
"Well, what do you do all day?"
"Oh, I mostly sit around watching porno movies, eating Quavers."


What's Mary short for?

'Cos she's got little legs!



How do you make a cat go "Woooof"

Cover it in petrol.



Crap heh?


:)
 
F

FatBusinessman

Guest
I think I speak for all of us when I say:


:twak:
 
S

Summo

Guest
Funnily enough my friends and I were talking about this at the pub yesterday. After much experimenting we decided that the best sounds to 'highlight the silence' are:
  • A lone cough
  • Wind across a barren landscape
  • Distant dog barking
  • Distant two-tone nautical foghorn (my personal favourite)
  • Dripping tap
  • Sweet wrapper discreetly rustling (we weren't sure about this one)
I challenge you to think of others.
 
M

Munkey-

Guest
the one about hte cat was funny :p

sheep baaing
the yodeel(sp?) of a swiss chap
 
S

Summo

Guest
I dunno. Sheep baaing is too out-of-the ordinary to suggest an emptiness, as is a yodel (and too loud). We also rejected a distant juggernaut horn and a passing plane for the same reason.

More, please.

/edit: Seagulls would probably work, but a difficult sound to make.

Ooh! Oooh! And the sound of a ticking clock. Perfect!
 
K

Kempo

Guest
as the saying goes, a pin dropping

although thats a bit crap :|
 
S

Summo

Guest
I'm going to dig out these sound effects and host them for you all.

Don't ask me why.
 
S

Sar

Guest
Originally posted by Summo
Funnily enough my friends and I were talking about this at the pub yesterday. After much experimenting we decided that the best sounds to 'highlight the silence' are:
  • A lone cough
  • Wind across a barren landscape
  • Distant dog barking
  • Distant two-tone nautical foghorn (my personal favourite)
  • Dripping tap
  • Sweet wrapper discreetly rustling (we weren't sure about this one)
I challenge you to think of others.
Click to expand...

The noise of someone sniffing as if they have a cold.




WHY AM I EVEN WRITING THIS!!!>!>????
 
S

Summo

Guest
That would work! Sniffing would work!

And an owl!

/edit: And crickets in the undergrowth!
 
W

Wilier

Guest
The sound of someone hitting fuck out of a 2" flogging spanner on an otherwise silent Refinery.

(spose you need to be here to get this)
 
S

Summo

Guest
What sort of bell? I reckon classical music is too interesting to pick out the silence.

The collection is coming along nicely. I'll host them soon.

For some reason.
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
rofl, notice how the Thread has gone totally off topic :D

We where (i think) talkin about jokes? and now its background effects or somethin.. :D
 
W

Wilier

Guest
Originally posted by Summo
What sort of bell? I reckon classical music is too interesting to pick out the silence.

The collection is coming along nicely. I'll host them soon.

For some reason.
Click to expand...

Church bell, or cow bells.

Pigs truffelling in the field across from our house.
 
B

bodhi

Guest
The sound of abong being toked on would be perfect. I can even record you a sample if you like.











But only if you force me. Honest.
 
S

Summo

Guest
Originally posted by Wilier
Church bell, or cow bells.
Click to expand...
Gah! Church bell was agreed last night, I forgot to list it. Oh, where's my brain?!?! Cow bells is good... I'll leave out the pigs, thanks.
 
W

Wilier

Guest
Perhaps a bit obscure for you townfolk, but, the distant sound of traffic?
 
O

old.Jas

Guest
Only relevant to comedy-based silences :

A distant cry of 'You suck!'
 
S

Summo

Guest
Like that, Jas. :)

Wil, I'm going to ignore your rural suggestions from now on. No hard feelings, k?
 
W

Wilier

Guest
Originally posted by Summo
Like that, Jas. :)

Wil, I'm going to ignore your rural suggestions from now on. No hard feelings, k?
Click to expand...

:(

feckin townie :eek:
 
P

PR.

Guest
Chair Scraping in the distance...

Floorboard Creaking...

The Feedback through the microphone

I will think of more, but not voluntarily :(
 
S

Summo

Guest
Originally posted by PR.
Chair Scraping in the distance...

Floorboard Creaking...

The Feedback through the microphone

I will think of more, but not voluntarily :(
Click to expand...
COMEDY GOLD! I'll find some! :D
 
U

-Ultimate

Guest
Hmm an unfastened storm shutter flapping

Like you know those things they have to cover doors and windows you know the ones i mean.....

Bah i'll get me coat :(
 
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