getting out of 'the friend zone'

[MaCaBr3]

This thread just reminded me how desperately in love I am with my best friend and how I miss her atm.

Fucking bastards die in hell.

 

[Morphius]

<Morph makes an appearance!>

decided to pop round for tea and scones and this thread jumped out at me.

going through exactly the same thing at the moment, I have no idea how to take it up to the next stage, we've known each other for ageeeees but i've only just started to want to go further. maaaadness! (Gary Jules - Mad World springs to mind)

I'm liking the ketamine idea, maybe some valium would work, or my favourite

hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

 

[Vladamir]

Shag her best mate, make it abundantly clear you did it for kicks and then ask her if she'd like to sit on your face.

Tried and tested

 

[Morphius]

the thing with you vlad was that it was a him, not a her.

just get that cleared up.

and no i wont sit on your face.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well, earlier today i took my usual approach on a situation.

Long term friend, since mixed signals were sent by the individual(you know those "did she just make a move?"), i decided and asked, as a staright shooter i am, "is there anything between us in your mind yada yada?", got my answer(nope) and we're cool about it.

Better to check these and get on with the friendship.

This is probably the reason i don't understand all the fuzz and "oh i like that girl/guy but don't know how to do this and that" tiptoing

 

[tris-]

This is probably the reason i don't understand all the fuzz and "oh i like that girl/guy but don't know how to do this and that" tiptoing

me neither. the exent of my tiptoing goes only to sticking my cock in her hand when she isnt looking.

 

[old.Tohtori]

me neither. the exent of my tiptoing goes only to sticking my cock in her hand when she isnt looking.

That's a good plan, only thing is, don't do it near a hotdog stand AI AI AIIIIIII ME HUEVO!!!

 

[Ezteq]

rofl tris thats all kinds of nasty!


theres this guy my bf works with and hes only been married a few months and his wife suddenly pipes up with how she thinks she is possibly in love with another dude but she's not sure and now she's like umming and aahing between the two.

i coundt believe it tbh because if your supposed to be with someone you just know it, i mean its like you just know you supposed to keep breathing its a fact bam there it is. all this ooh i dont know should we try the next level or not crap really annoys me, just try it and see if it works then way hay if not then pfft you tried if i was a bloke and had to put up with flipping indecisive women i swear to god they'd drive me so nuts id be gay i really would!

hoenstly my bf asked me the other day if i'd ever be like a full on lesbian instead of a just watch'n'perve one and i said hell no, gals are great until they open their damn fool mouths and shatter the illusion then as soon as they begin speaking with all their amature psychology and deep msytical shit i thank the lord im with a bloke lol.

you guys have my respect you really do tbh i dont know how you put up with it.

 

[tris-]

all this ooh i dont know should we try the next level or not crap really annoys me, just try it and see if it works then way hay if not then pfft you tried

dudes are willing to do that, its the bitches that wont.
the whole fucking thing is kinda getting to me at the minute. shes gone home for 2 weeks as its uni break and before i thought "i like her sure, not loads but enough". now shes gone, no matter what i do or where im at, shes always at the back of my mind. and as sad it sounds, i keep having dreams we are together then i wake up pissed off


macabre, pass me the knife when your finished

 

[NikonL]

It is very hard to deal with, when you want to go out with someone and they just want to be friends. I think though, that the psychological "I want her because I can't have her" effect is probably quite strong with you at the moment. Certainly I've noticed that whenever I have been in the "just friends" situation, I'll be upset for a while, but as soon as I get a chance to clear my head, or a different love interest will turn up, and the feelings I've had for the girl i was just friends with will die down fairly quickly.

It's not the ideal solution, but you may want to try just clearing your head of her, and maybe doing what she does and settle down and just be friends. Obviously if you try for a month or two and still can't get over her then it might be more than just a half-crush. One thing to remember though, it's good to have a girl as a really good friend. A year ago I was in the same spot you are, I did my method of just settling for friends like she wanted. Now that girl is invaluable to me, I'd be a complete mess right now if i didn't have her as a friend. And I've got a gf that I think overall I'm happier with than I would have been going out with her.

Of course, I could just be chatting shit here cos funnily enough, my current gf and I started out as just friends as well. I decided I wanted more, but didn't get any signals from her that she did as well. So I gave up, and actually had to stop talking to her to try and get her out of my head. Then just after christmas I got talking to her again, realised I couldn't get over her, asked her out and found out that she wanted to go out with me as well. All manner of things can happen.

 

[Gamah]

dudes are willing to do that, its the bitches that wont.
the whole fucking thing is kinda getting to me at the minute. shes gone home for 2 weeks as its uni break and before i thought "i like her sure, not loads but enough". now shes gone, no matter what i do or where im at, shes always at the back of my mind. and as sad it sounds, i keep having dreams we are together then i wake up pissed off


macabre, pass me the knife when your finished

Bless little tris is human

 

[tris-]

Bless little tris is human

i dont want to be a real boy anymore.

DAMN YOU GEPPETTO, DAMN YOU TO HELL!

 

[Ingafgrinn Macabre]

Nothing a good old emotional suppression can't solve

 

[Olgaline]

if there is just me and her she doesnt seem as open as usual but if someone else is there she is fine with me.

sounds to me as if she has more invested in it then, than a simple friendship.
otherwise she'd be exactly the same when your alone or with friends..imo chances are she's just as "nervouse" as you are...

my bet is she likes you...but hey..easy for me to say go for it...

 

[tris-]

sounds to me as if she has more invested in it then, than a simple friendship.
otherwise she'd be exactly the same when your alone or with friends..imo chances are she's just as "nervouse" as you are...

my bet is she likes you...but hey..easy for me to say go for it...

i told her how i felt but she never really said how she felt. there was no "oh i dont like you your a dick, just stay friends k?" and there was no "omg i feel the same, lets make mad love". all she really did was comment on how long i kept it to my self. she also said she doesnt like anyone. who the fuck knows, women are too fucking intricate and confusing

 

[Fana]

Was in the same situation 5 years ago - had been friends with a girl for 2 years, we spent tons of time together, almost every day etc. Then i developed feelings for her and eventually told her. About 2 months of confusion (when she couldnt decide what she wanted) followed and then it all crashed and burned. We havent spoken since.

 

[tris-]

About 2 months of confusion (when she couldnt decide what she wanted) followed and then it all crashed and burned. We havent spoken since.

i dont really want that to happen, because she is my friend at the end of the day. but if i carry on feeling like this i may aswell glass my self in the face :\

 

[Gamah]

Fana(tm) Bringing you the uplifting side of life!

 

[Fana]

Fana(tm) Bringing you the uplifting side of life!

I try, I try

 

[Morphius]

oh god if that happened, how awkward would it be, in the same class for Everything, and now i mention it we sit next to each other in 90% of them. god that would be bad.

 

[Gamah]

Its simple Tris

+

=

 

[Darksword]

theres no way out of it. depends how important they are to you in my opinion, if you really care then leave it, and maybe even leave her for a while and see how things are when you catch up a few months down the line. if thats not possible then life's going to suck and you'll have to ride it out till something either happens or never does. but i'm guessing you want her to be happy so let her be.

 

[Darksword]

<Morph makes an appearance!>

decided to pop round for tea and scones and this thread jumped out at me.

going through exactly the same thing at the moment, I have no idea how to take it up to the next stage, we've known each other for ageeeees but i've only just started to want to go further. maaaadness! (Gary Jules - Mad World springs to mind)

I'm liking the ketamine idea, maybe some valium would work, or my favourite

hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

i havent read much of this thread, but fuck yeh, get a gram of ket, snort it and go through the k-hole, see if floating you has any revelations.

 

[Huntingtons]

i dont really want that to happen, because she is my friend at the end of the day. but if i carry on feeling like this i may aswell glass my self in the face :\

dont worry, ill glass you in the face as always :<

 

[tris-]

theres no way out of it. depends how important they are to you in my opinion, if you really care then leave it, and maybe even leave her for a while and see how things are when you catch up a few months down the line. if thats not possible then life's going to suck and you'll have to ride it out till something either happens or never does. but i'm guessing you want her to be happy so let her be.

ive been riding it out since october now. and i cant leave for a while, we do the same degree at uni . though 4 months of summer starts in june, so i wont see her everyday at least.

 

[Bahumat]

Im no expert but here's how i see things

You meet a girl, she either A) likes you, B) unsure, but you either win/lose her by personality or C) she has no interest.

A & B

A) you go out on a few dates and eventually start a relationship

B1) she liked some things about you so gives you a chance, but you blow it by admitting to loving cocks
B2) you get to know her, as does she, and you start dating officially

Now your falling into category D)

D) she neither lusts or despises you, she decides to get to know you first.

D1) she then see's you offer something she desires and starts flirting, you react and it goes as you'd hoped

D2) she realises you dont offer the things she's after, but your funny and she enjoys your company. This is where alot of people find themselves.


Tris i hate to say it, but if when you met her for the first few times (she's a friend of a friend/work colleague yeah?), you made her laugh a couple of times, read her body movements, you could see if you had a chance. If its Yes then it will all look groovy, if its not meant to be, you'll soon know and dont have to live in hope.

You may have been unlucky and fell into D2 for the past few women, its shit luck but once they make their mind up (within the first few seconds/minutes) you cant change their outlook.

p.s. maybe you can but you've gotta be a real player.

 

[tris-]

i did brush her boob with my hand once, maybe thats all im destined for

 

[Bahumat]

too late to edit, but replace Body Movements with Body Language.

p.s. check your pm's Mr Tris

 

[Imgormiel]

too late to edit, but replace Body Movements with Body Language.

p.s. check your pm's Mr Tris

I emptied my in box and ur spam is still missing ^_^

 

[tris-]

too late to edit, but replace Body Movements with Body Language.

p.s. check your pm's Mr Tris

i will give it a look after jeremy kyle has finished!