Garlic cake anyone??

.Wilier.

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
798
Last night myself and my 2 daughters (4 and 1) decided we would bake their mummy a cake for Valentines. Mrs Wil works on a Thursday evening, so whilst being a little early, it seemed like a good time to bake a cake and keep it a suprise until Saturday.

So, after eldest had been to tennis, we trawled down to Tesco, bought the bits-n-bobs required (eggs and a Jane Asher Lemon Drizzle Cake packet mix ;)) and went home to bake.
The girls got washed up and I laid all the ingredients out with the bowls etc. Eldest put the mix in the bowl, followed by 2 eggs (youngest was "helping" by eating anything she could reach), some water and then 1 3/4 fl/oz of oil. Odd I thought, must be to keep the cake nice and moist, so I grabbed the bottle of Olive oil, measured it out (thinking, blimey, thats an odd smell) and Freya poured it in and started mixing.

After a good bit of stirring and mixing, Freya tasted it, spat it out and screemed "AAHHHGGGggggggg IT BURNS" and dived into the sink to wash her mouth out. I gave it a bit of a taste, and by God she was right, it really did burn. Checking the Olive oil bottle again, it turned out to have a clove of garlic sat in the bottom................bugger.

Seems as though garlic and lemon, when mixed make a rather nasty (and probably corrosive) burning mixture which undoubtedly would make a splendid cake, had I not thrown it in the bin in a rage.

We ended up making a victoria sponge with flour and stuff :( Looks good though :)
 

Wazzerphuk

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
12,054
rofl

you should have forced her to down it for such a display of stupidity
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,801
hehe don't rage dear Wilier, your story brightened my day and made me remember blissful days of childhood begging my mum to 'let me lick the spoon' whenever she was doing her baking. happy :)
 

tRoG

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,440
The hellish wee nephews will be getting a nice, big cake next time they round.

... And they will be forced to eat every last bite. :eek:
 

.Wilier.

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
798
Swift^ said:
rofl

you should have forced her to down it for such a display of stupidity

Force her to eat the cake, for my stupidity?

I dearly hope you never have kids Wazz ;)
 

Sar

Part of the furniture
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,140
For the sake of the human gene pool we hope not.

;)
 

Wazzerphuk

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
12,054
.Wilier. said:
Force her to eat the cake, for my stupidity?

I dearly hope you never have kids Wazz ;)

Me too.

And make her eat the cake. Fetch it out the bin and force it down her fat throat.
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
35,979
TdC said:
hehe don't rage dear Wilier, my mum 'let me lick the spoon' whenever she was doing her "baking". The saucy minx ;)


Fixed.
 

.Wilier.

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
798
Swift^ said:
Me too.

And make her eat the cake. Fetch it out the bin and force it down her fat throat.


No disrespect, but my daughter dosnt have a fat throat.

And your right, I doubt you will ever have children...............
 

Bym

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
144
Swift^ said:
Me too.

And make her eat the cake. Fetch it out the bin and force it down her fat throat.

Just slightly out of order as far as statements go...

I like garlic, maybe it would have been ok when it was cooked.....well, maybe not :)
 

Bym

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
144
Spare a thought for my poor family - when I was living at home we were forced to consume my sister's many cooking attempts. Here are just some of them:

crappocake.JPG


crapcake2.jpg


morecrapcooking.jpg
 

Cdr

One of Freddy's beloved
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
803
itcheh said:
Garlic cake? Garlic ... in a cake? Garlic? Cake?

Peter Kay's lawyers will be in post haste. Please standby!
 

Wazzerphuk

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
12,054
Harsh but essentially fair.

It is vital to teach children one of the fundamentals you must come to terms with in life: You will regularly be forced to deal with something nasty because of someone ELSES stupidity.

It's something most parents forget about.

And if your daughter hasn't got a fat throat, try ramming a cucumber in there first. It should widen the hole a little.









(Once again it seems my posts need disclaimers and self editing because of people's either lack of humour or blind stupidity. I'm only ever being light hearted and only ever teasing - just look at the last sentence of this post and think about what I could normally have said. I'm bloody taming myself these days and you still take everything like it's life or death angry spells. For those that are stupid, I could have said PENIS.)
 

Jonaldo

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,173
And for those who don't think I have a sense of humour, I could've called Wazzer a complete fucking moron, but I didn't.
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,801
going a bit far there Glenn laddie. you never should have read 'how to make friends and influence people' heh.
 

Doh_boy

Part of the furniture
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,007
TdC said:
going a bit far there Glenn laddie. you never should have read 'how to make friends and influence people' heh.
I've not read that but I have read 'How to lose friends and alienate people' By Toby Young. It's a very good read. :)
 

Doomy

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,121
TdC said:
hehe don't rage dear Wilier, your story brightened my day and made me remember blissful days of childhood begging my mum to 'let me lick the spoon' whenever she was doing her baking. happy :)


Heh still do that and nearly 26.

And swift, if you have to go to such extreme measures to explain the fact that you arent so 'hardcore' when it comes to 'humour' as you used to be, its time to take a step out of your own ass and mingle properly.

Even if it is just a joke, if someone told me to ram a cucumber down my daughters throat id be a little annoyed, and also joking abouut the daughters fat throat is silly and pointles. I dont even have kids
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
Lemon and garlic are two parts of a rather, how to say, nasty mixture that can cause second degree burns in an instant.

Not telling the rest of the stuff involved, but you all own them :p
 

Insane

Wait... whatwhat?
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
998
garlic house sauce on a mixed kebab on chips !!!one!

*drools*

:D
 

GDW

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
688
Swift please grow up. You arent funny and your comments say more about you repressed childhood experiences than you should really be divulging to anyone other than a shrink.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom