Funnyist Jokes in the World Ever

[luap]

Love this one.

A blind man gets a cheese-grater from a friend at Christmas. A week later the blindman calls his friend.
"Thanks mate but that book is really violent"


Do continue won't you......

 

[Nibbler]

Originally posted by Luap-ffs
Do continue won't you......

Knock Knock

 

[Guest]

What's Black and White, and can't turn around in a corridor?






....a nun with a javelin in her neck.




I'll get me coat

 

[luap]

Originally posted by Lead Nibbler

Originally posted by Luap-ffs
Do continue won't you......

Knock Knock

Who's there?

 

[old.charliealpha]

2 Irishmen sat on the floor.



1 fell off...

 

[Nibbler]

Originally posted by Luap-ffs

Originally posted by Lead Nibbler

Originally posted by Luap-ffs
Do continue won't you......

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Doctor

 

[Wij]

4 nuns go away for the weekend. When they come back they all line up in front of the Mother Superior to confess their sins. The first one says "I'm terribly sorry mother but I saw a man's penis." "Goodness gracious child", cries the Mother Superior, "say 10 Hail Marys and go wash your filthy eyes in the font!" The second nun says "I'm terribly sorry mother but I touched a man's penis." "Goodness gracious child", cries the Mother Superior, "say 20 Hail Marys and go wash your filthy hands in the font!" As soon as she's gone the fourth nun runs off in the direction of the font. "Where on earth are you going?", asks the Mother Superior. The fourth nun shouts back "I'm going to wash my mouth out in the font before that one there gets her arse in it!"

 

[old.TUG]

Originally posted by Lead Nibbler

Originally posted by Luap-ffs

Originally posted by Lead Nibbler

Originally posted by Luap-ffs
Do continue won't you......

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Doctor

Doctor who?

 

[Perplex]

Very distasteful, and fully expect them to be deleted:

Q. What's the definition of an Ethiopian family portrait?
A. Barcode

Q. What do you call an Ethiopian having a shit?
A. Poser

Q. What do you find up an Ethiopians arse?
A. Cobwebs

 

[Wazzerphuk]

meow?

 

[Nibbler]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Doctor

Doctor who?

Precisely (LAME)

*

Oh and yeah Perp, i'm sure they will be deleted, but while were on the subject:

Q. How do you fit 100 Etheopians into a telephone box?
A. Put a tin of beans in there

Q. How do you get 100 Etheopians out of a telephone box?
A. Run past with the tin opener

*
I thourghly apologise to anyone who did not find this funny, for they are tasteless, and hey, they're just jokes
*



[Edited by Lead Nibbler on 17-04-01 at 00:59]

 

[old.Japes]

[CRAP JOKE ALERT]
Q: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A: Cliff.
[/CRAP JOKE ALERT]

/me gets his coat.

 

[old.oompa]

what looks better then an apple hanging from a tree? A jew hanging from a tree..

cough.

 

[Stazbumpa]

The key to good comedy is tragedy and distance.

What do you call a bloke with a car on his head?

Jack


Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

Tequila.

What do you call a Russian bloke with a sword through his wrist?

Andropov


Sorry, really sorry.

 

[Wij]

Originally posted by oompa
what looks better then an apple hanging from a tree? A jew hanging from a tree..

cough.

That's a joke ???

 

[bodhi]

Q. Why did the condom fly across the room?
A. It was pissed off

Q. What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A. A paraplegic in a housefire

Q. What's blue and fucks old ladies?
A. Hypothermia

Q. Whats the difference between a Roman Catholic and a Feinian Bastard?
A. The Roman Catholics play for Rangers (being scottish helps with that joke)

Q. Why did Glynn3rs cross the road?
A. His dick was stuck in the chicken

 

[old.Luap2]

Originally posted by oompa
what looks better then an apple hanging from a tree.

TWAT

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Originally posted by oompa
what looks better then an apple hanging from a tree? A jew hanging from a tree..

cough.

spot the cockhead.

 

[old.Cpl_Custard]

What does an elephant use as a vibrator?

An epeleptic.

 

[old.Cpl_Custard]

Except mine isn't too funny, just absolutely sick, got it out of a joke book printed in 1982, before political corectness.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

What's political corectness?

 

[old.Cpl_Custard]

Originally posted by Lead Nibbler

*
I thourghly apologise to anyone who did not find this funny, for they are tasteless, and hey, they're just jokes
*

Same applies to my "joke".

I don't like to upset peeps but I just ad to put that down

 

[old.oompa]

christ it was a cunting joke.. well alright a shit one.

 

[Nibbler]

You suck Oompa. First you wreck one of those quote threads and then you come over here with crap jokes.

 

[Perplex]

lol, oh dear...I can't resist it...aaaarrrghhhh

Q. how many jews can you fit in a VW?

A. 504....2 in the front, 2 in the back, 500 in the ashtray

<<makes a sharp exit>>

 

[old.oompa]

perplex is heading for a bollocking

 

[luap]

ffs Perp, I'd thought more of you.

/me ponders killing this thread.

 

[bodhi]

LOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

[old.Cpl_Custard]

ROFL perp. Sick git

 

[old.TUG]

heheh