Funny things you hear on the battlefield

[Sankat]

Started a new char: nightshade lvl 8.. al newbie group:

We were fighting Curms, because there were not tanks i needed to tank

Getting hit hard by 2 curms:

Me: heal!
sssssssss
Me: Heal me heal me
sssssssss
Me: ffs heal me
sssssssss
DEAD
Me ffs why didn't you heal me i asked druic
Druid: I can not heal you
Me: What????????
Druid: It sayd you are dead and that i cannot heal you.
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[Garnet]

Originally posted by Sankat
Started a new char: nightshade lvl 8.. al newbie group:

We were fighting Curms, because there were not tanks i needed to tank

Getting hit hard by 2 curms:

Me: heal!
sssssssss
Me: Heal me heal me
sssssssss
Me: ffs heal me
sssssssss
DEAD
Me ffs why didn't you heal me i asked druic
Druid: I can not heal you
Me: What????????
Druid: It sayd you are dead and that i cannot heal you.
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ROFL

 

[Gabrial]

Heres one - remember im a cleric and I was just about to sit down to log out...

Tank: Buffs
Me: Im logging - sorry
Tank: Plz
Me: They wont stick on when I leave
Tank: Plz

Then I logged.

 

[Roalith]

Quite a while ago this one, but picture the scene... sitting in corn station crafting away, wearing a robe and carrying a stick just for giggles.
Noob armsman no. 102 walks up, screams 'buffs plz' at me. I put plate breastplate back on, and swap to sword and shield. The other 6 people in the crafting room of corn station all curl up in laughter. Poor noob armsman no. 102 leaves.

 

[old.tuppe]

crap, my life in midgard has been bored!
nothing even close this kind what albs

well, maybe once in thidraki, when that millenium group was zerging around, meaned 40+ hibs.

standing from mpk.
notice 5 person come from mpk, and run immediatly to mb,
send pm to one and asked them come back immediatly,
no answer,
after 30 second deathspam comes,
they didnt come back.


dunno how often this happend to other?
but once i buy ramparts and was heavily encumbered.
think if i jump from lord room i dead and release to close horse, and that way vault.
well, close 10 minute longer, after painfull walking to lord room in bledmeer, scream geronimo and jump.
well, 1% htp left.
and again head behind from bled back to lord room, or even some place to get jump suicide,
when get back to yar in castle htp was over half, no jump from wall! so back to lord room,
and after over 20 minute i succesfull did suicide.

 

[Generic Poster]

Leaving the apk in Emain, I was grouped with an armsman and paladin.

As we headed down the hill towards the amg, I asked the paladin to run healchant so he can take agro. So he said 'ok' and switched to healchant...

Took a few minutes before he realised I was joking... well, I guess you had to be there




* (Healchant works wonders for pulling agro in PvE)

 

[geniusdaoc]

Originally posted by The Real Redi
I'll tell you whats funny in the frontier;

2FG of albs standing at AMG in emain, theres 1FG of mids in the bowl, with a blue and a green in it then the cg goes:

skirmish leader: "Ok, the Norse is the healer, take out him and the 2 Dwarves first, they're the casters it seems. oh, and dont bunch up, gives them less of a chance at AoE... ok rdy?"
bbb: "rdy"
ccc: "rdy"
ddd: "aye"
skirmish leader: "ok... CHARGE!"
fff: "Get back thru the MG! we can hold them until reinforcements arrive!"

The blades flash from their scabards, and the thunder of feet as two fighters, and one caster step up to the plate, the other 13 in a beautiful piece of military strategy, turn and run back thru the MG.

skirmish leader is killed by n00btro11!
bbb is killed by Uber n00btro11sfr13nd!
ccc is in the same boat as bbb!

skirmish leader: "WTF DID YOU RUN FOR??? WE OUTNUMBERED THEM 2 to ONE YOU BUNCH OF TWATS!"
fff: "well, if you had a little patience you wouldnt be dead! im calling for reinforcements"

/gu MID ZERG AT AMG IN EMAIN!!!

<facepalms>

I wish i was born deaf, dumb and blind, then i would only have to deal with your sympathies...

This one about me ... we really outnumbered em there, but coz of everyone running we kinda lost too , stupid ...

 

[wyleia]

okok this one was just funny to me i guess.. but also a bid odd:

Setting: DF killing nitemares and the such in full group of 2 firewizzies, one minstrel, 2 clerics, one infil, one armsman, and me a sorc


First mob pull goes ok, but wizzards were really taking it badly.. so I ask the armsman:

Me: Can you use taunt instead of your styles please? Keep it off the wizards?

Armsman: Taunt takes too much endurance, im just using my styles

Me: Err you are a tank, can you please tank and try to hold the aggro?

Armsman: I told you it takes too much endurance to use taunt!

Me: Ok then, what are you good for then?

Armsman: Im just going to hit it realy hard

Me: Err, Firewizzie#1 how much damage do you do?

Firewizzie#1: 550++

Me: Armsman how much damage do you do?

Armsman: Well its hard against purples...

Me: Erm ok.....

So a sword and board level 45ish armsman, insisting on trying to beat to deaht purples, rather than just taunt and let me firedebuff and wizzies (level 50 and 49) nuke to death the mob, would rather hit and watch the wizzies get hit.... Not to mention he had some great skills in mezzbreaking as well....

Luckily the infil in the group volunteered his taunting talent and kept it off the wizards....

Wyleia Mythweaver
50th Sorc of The 30
http://www.the30.org.uk

 

[maxgirth]

Originally posted by wyleia
okok this one was just funny to me i guess.. but also a bid odd:

Setting: DF killing nitemares and the such in full group of 2 firewizzies, one minstrel, 2 clerics, one infil, one armsman, and me a sorc


First mob pull goes ok, but wizzards were really taking it badly.. so I ask the armsman:

Me: Can you use taunt instead of your styles please? Keep it off the wizards?

Armsman: Taunt takes too much endurance, im just using my styles

Me: Err you are a tank, can you please tank and try to hold the aggro?

Armsman: I told you it takes too much endurance to use taunt!

Me: Ok then, what are you good for then?

Armsman: Im just going to hit it realy hard

Me: Err, Firewizzie#1 how much damage do you do?

Firewizzie#1: 550++

Me: Armsman how much damage do you do?

Armsman: Well its hard against purples...

Me: Erm ok.....

So a sword and board level 45ish armsman, insisting on trying to beat to deaht purples, rather than just taunt and let me firedebuff and wizzies (level 50 and 49) nuke to death the mob, would rather hit and watch the wizzies get hit.... Not to mention he had some great skills in mezzbreaking as well....

Luckily the infil in the group volunteered his taunting talent and kept it off the wizards....

Wyleia Mythweaver
50th Sorc of The 30
http://www.the30.org.uk

Sounds like a typical power levelled scenario to me.

All of a sudden he`s up there, with not to much played knowledge of char,and the results can be plainly seen,the type of play you would expect in mithra from a complete n00b.

Other such giveaways from varied classes:-
Asking mins to play power song in D/T.
Clerics giving strange buffs to casters etc.
Tanks putting protect on healers etc purely in RvR.
Casters aoe pulling every mob in sight,then saying I wondered what that one was for.

 

[old.Bubble]

lvl5 Bubble with bandit pet- Hi there
lvl 5 armsman- You have a mob on you! < Draws weapon and attacks my pet> Its says bandit is friendly
lvl 5 Bubble- yes hes my pet
lvl 5 armsman- oh <weapons still draw targeting pet>
2 mins later
lvl 5 armsman- <still targeting pet>
lvl 5 bubble - if you want to kill him that much i'll release him....
lvl 5 armsman- thanks
lvl 5 bubble - <releases pet armsman attacks it> okay later m8
lvl 5 armsman - thanks
20 secs later
Level 5 armsman was killed by a bandit
lvl 5 bubble <recharms pet>

 

[Gabrial]

Bubble!

I know you (Gerrard) - I was Burp in Thidranki! You still in there?

I beed playing this game for 8 months(ish), got 4 chars on Hib and 4 here, (plus the 6 chars I deleted for experimental purposes after level 15-24) and I have to agree about powerlevelled characters. Its just bizarre that people get a single-minded approach to playing a character and forget to alter their actions depending on the situation. Biggest example has to be a PBAOE group.

 

[Taggart]

I have to say crushar, i pissed myself laughing in college at those chat logs hehe.

Ya get some real stupid bastards LOL.

My fav has to be that newb paladin that charged mpk ROFL, that was sooooooo fucking funny

This thread has made my day

 

[old.Bubble]

Bubble earth wizzy on pendragon 1 day after GTAOE patch

earthwiz1- i here we can damage friendly NPC's with this spell
earthwiz2- lets kill that master visur at sauvage, revenge for making us wait
bubble- err sure
10 mins later
7 earth wizzys GTAOEing visur
You have killed Master Visur
you get 78XXXXXXXXX exp

earthwiz4- guys i wanna test this gtaoe on the mids and hibs lets take DC
earthwiz2- err we killed visur....i'm sure he'll repop
2 hours later
Bubble- guys where are you? oh crap, gunna kill them once they log again. /appeal i kinda killed master visur and hes not repoping :/
CSR- Hi how can i help you....
Bubble- i killed master visur my mistake GTAOEing
CSR- ........this is the XX time today this has happened

i posted the chat log on the VN boards

 

[larossa]

Respec?

Last night in emain....

Shammy - can I have a pox plz?
Healer - Sorry mate - I respecced to fully augment healer - can't do pox
Skald - I respecced to axe and parry, get someone else to give you a lift
Runie - I respecced to killing machine, get someone else to give you a fend

My hunter just didn't have a snappy reply to this

 

[Taggart]

LOL, that must have been cool as hell seeing that gimp visur dead! would have liked to see that

Have felt like killing that git on a few occations

 

[Dook_Pug]

Re: Respec?

Originally posted by larossa
Last night in emain....

Runie - I respecced to killing machine, get someone else to give you a fend

HAHAHA!

So true...

 

[~Mobius~]

Re: Respec?

Originally posted by larossa
Last night in emain....

Shammy - can I have a pox plz?
Healer - Sorry mate - I respecced to fully augment healer - can't do pox
Skald - I respecced to axe and parry, get someone else to give you a lift
Runie - I respecced to killing machine, get someone else to give you a fend

My hunter just didn't have a snappy reply to this

ROFL!

So many classics here .

 

[old.Krusha]

Originally posted by Gabrial
I got told "Heal you fool!" by a theurgist in my group, just before our tank died, shortly followed by me.

I couldnt heal because of the gobbo whacking me, interrupting my spells as I fought desperately to save his life. When I explained this to him, he claimed I was making it up and that the health bar must be in my head because it didnt move (despite the fact that I died in front of him!)

I remember that one, the twat didnt say sorry after you left either

 

[Gabrial]

Originally posted by old.Krusha


I remember that one, the twat didnt say sorry after you left either

Hehe - cheers rancor The guy was a looser - just felt bad about abandoning the group but I couldnt stick around him for any longer!

 

[old.Gombur Glodson]

I had a merc asking me for a rez in emain, and the guy was yellow con.

 

[Lochlyessa]

Originally posted by old.Gombur Glodson
I had a merc asking me for a rez in emain, and the guy was yellow con.

Well.. You do look vaguely like a cleric

 

[old.Gombur Glodson]

yeah it can be tricky to watch the drum/sword

 

[Grymlina]

From a guildy,

(Spanish guy) - Can your buff me
(Buffb0t) - Sure
(Spanish guy) - thx !
"Buffing him"

*(spaninsh guy) enters Cave*

*(spaninsh guy) exit Cave*

(Spanish guy) - WHY DID U REMOVE MY BUFFS !

(buffb0t) - sight


Omg ...

 

[old.TeaSpoon]

Group of 8, XPing out in Lyonesse(hey, Im not the first one to move away from RvR only stories am I? )

Basicly, we were quite bored, and my good friend Vodka (OnTheRocks) is a bit of a laugh (he's a Merc, so he has to be really ) , started making a few general comments to the group:

Vod: Come on lads, lets get cracking, I cant wait to get to 45, I finally get my two amazing Fire Bolts!

Rest of the group: Erm, you what?

Vod: Yeah, I get two amazing 150 damage Fire Bolts at 45!!! Pretty good eh?

Rest of group: Erm, excuse me, but you dont get any bolts, your a Merc...

Vod: What?!

Rest of group: Yes, Mercs dont get anything magical...

Vod: Your joking!!!!??

Rest of group: Nope, honest, you dont.

Vod: No way! Next you'll be telling me I dont get PBT!!!!!!

 

[swords]

Mercs dont get pbt at 45????

well now im never going back to Alb Excal

i remember once in albion. (had to be) im sitting on the port pad in Sausage waiting for port to Murdagean (day BG was introduced) and i overhead this conversation a lvl 50 armsman is having with a wizzard in high 40's. the armsman was explaining protect and guard the wrong way around.

after chuckling away for a few seconds i did a /send to the armsman and explained what you use each for. so as not so humiliate the poor chap.

2 mins later i got 3 sends from his guildmates telling me i was wrong, that i knew nothing because i was a grey con lowbie...and that they had me on their guild banned list....

*sigh*
Is it just and Albion thing????

 

[Desdecado-Seven]

playing an alt in sals plains, nice group of 6

green con tank: can i join
G/leader in /g: I know him, he's a trerrible player
G/leader: Sorry we are happy as we are
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
G/leader: no
green con tank: why
g/leader: I dont like you

I nearly spat my coffee with that response

 

[Garnet]

Originally posted by Desdecado-T30
playing an alt in sals plains, nice group of 6

green con tank: can i join
G/leader in /g: I know him, he's a trerrible player
G/leader: Sorry we are happy as we are
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
green con tank: can i join
G/leader: no
green con tank: why
g/leader: I dont like you

I nearly spat my coffee with that response

rofl

 

[Sharma]

This Happened to me at a tangler group in lyonesse:

Me: can i join your group please?
Group: Full, Sorry
Me: ok see you
Group: nononoono, wait a min, could you stand there and rez us if something goes wrong since you have nothing else to do...?
Me: <Calm manner> nope sorry if im not required in the group i shall leave
Group: WHAT?!? STFU NOOB WE DONT NEED U ANYAY COS WE B 1337!! WE WILL PWNZZORS THESE GOBBOS!
Me: umm ok bye...
<5 minutes later>
Group: can you rez us please?
Me: no im in darkness falls, bye
Group: FINE STFU THEN WE GET ANOTEH REZZE!!!11
Me: fine, thats ok with me, good hunting
<5 minutes later>
Group: can you rez us and come buff us? Our cleric left and an Armsman joined...
Me: No Good night.....