Funny things you hear on the battlefield

C

cruhar

Guest
Im making this Thread since im bored at work, and want a good laugh...

Please post funny remarks you have heard while hunting the enemies...

also please keep it free of names ;)

I'll make a few of them, so you can see what I mean :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

In thid, heard in CG:

1) -
Arsman - OMFG, I just got nuked by some git for more than 700 damage!!!!
Cleric - Where are you dead?
Armsman - at MPK
Sorc - Who killed you ?
Armsman - Some guy named Master of Runes
Me - <sigh>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
2) -
(albion got center keep)
Infil - Mids at Keep, I see about 3 fg
Pala - I'll be right there
~ Silence
Pala - I dont see any Mids here
Infil - They are bashing down the doors, ill kill their healers!
Pala - wtf are you talking about ... No mids at keep
Armsman - I see about 20 mids also ... Pala where are you?
Pala - im at our portalkeep, and there are no middies!
Infil - They got ram ... gotta be fast now
Pala - Im infront of the doors are there are NO MIDDIES!!
Me - Pala make your way to centerkeep! theres the action!
Pala - Why didnt you just say so, there are 4 keeps in this zone!
~ Silence
Pala - Oops ... silly me
-- Pala has left the chatgroup --

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorc - Hibbies at Midbridge, Ill mez them, come keel

Wizard - Im coming ... ph33r m3

~ Silence

Wizard - Guys, any rezzers ?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pala - Ok. listen up guys, ill take command in Thid for a few hours!
Pala - Im Very experienced RvR-player
Scout - Mids at MPK
Pala - Everyone come to MPK and we'll camp them
~Silence for about 3 mins
Pala - Ok. Everyone here ?
Infil - well no, but we are enough! I only see 10 mids at PK
Pala - CHARGE EM!!
-- Pala was killed by Master of Runes --
-- xxx1 was killed by Master of Runes --
-- xxx2 was killed by Master of Runes --
-- xxx3 was killed by Master of Runes --
-- xxx4 was killed by Master of Runes --
-- xxx5 was killed by Master of Runes --
Infil - What are you guys doing ?!?!
Pala - Bah mids are overpowered!!
Armsman - Any rezzers ? im almost at keepdoors with Pala
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Im looking forward to see some of the 'events' I have missed in Thid, Emain, Odins etc. ;-)
 
G

Glyph_mid

Guest
Mid1: Lets not camp apk again, it really sucks and lets pull the fights to amg instead
Mid2: yeah, camping sucks

A alb zerg arrives a mid counterzerg them and albs flee

Mid1 was just killed by Man at Arms
Mid2 was just killed by master wizard

Mid1: can anyone come res at apk pls

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mid1: ok, lets take mmg from the alb zerg and then stick together so we can have an upper hand in emain

Mids storms the mmg and wins.

Mid1: GW, now lets meet up at DC x-road

Mid1's group run in Y-direction
Mid2's group run in x-direction
Mid3's group run in z-direction

mid1's group was killed by alb zerg
mid2's group was killed by hib zerg
mid3's group skatters and dies one by one

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mid1: ALBS INC!
Mid2: ALBS INC many
Mid3: how many?
Mid1: Many albs inc
Mid3: to where?
Mid2: Albs inc now
 
B

bellious

Guest
LMAO, i like this thread : )

Me: asks cleric in cg for a rez
Cleric: " im a fecking smiting cleric i dont rez"
Me: " but you have got a rez"
Cleric: "Yes, but i never use, need all my power for smites"
Me: " just come and rez me please, im the only other rezzer in thid!"
Cleric: Cleric leaves Cg
Me: releases and goes back to thid.
As i run to ab see dead alb on floor.
Cleric: Lo m8 can u rez me please?
 
O

old.Gryllus

Guest
Not in RvR, but:

My lvl 28 infil XP-ing in catacombs.
Incoming message from XZY:
XZY: Hail m8, can U ress me pls?
me : Where are you?
XZY: I am not far from entrance.
me: Wait a sec, fighting (finish off some legionaruis with the group)
Telling group cleric, we got a ress req.
me: So XZY, where are you?
XZY: between entrance and merchants.
me: Merchants???
me: /who XZY
XZY lvl20 Legendary Resscaller, in Darkness Falls... :))
Telling group cleric, we aint got a ress req any more.

I mentioned it on the guild channel, and it turned out, that
we all get strange ress requests, wherever we are. Angels of Darkness.
/who Darkness . :)
And o'course Angels can ress anyone. :)
 
B

BimboBane

Guest
Pve stupidity

This was in the dark age of spring 2002 when a healer that just hit 41 enterd the horror area of Malmöhus with two mixed groups after the third attempt we did get into the lair and finaly in we rested up and went South to the spawn where the "not so hard" drakulfs where. As usual runemasters pull with nearsight and after the first two pull that was hard fighting but greate exp, the following happend.

<runie> inc
<runie> ehh? he turned around and flew??!!
<tank1> lol
<tank2> laff
<healer> ehhh?
<runie> i didnt know there was drakulf archers here..
<healer> ???
<runie> yeah it says he is a scout. Pulling another one inc
<tank3> IDIOT!
*WIPEOUT*
"After this severall ppl told the poor runie what scout is" amazing he got to lvl37 without knowing it.

:)

//Bimbobane
 
O

old.SadonTheGrey

Guest
I like the 1fg of mids at amg. 1fg of albs go to check..... 10 secs later they are killed by 1fg of stealthers between apk and amg. Nit really a convo as such but these things happen :p
 
T

The Real Redi

Guest
On a guild keep take/defend:

Aeth: Ok, folks door at 50%, keep it up
Redi: MIDS INC! NORTH!!!
Redi: HIBS INC! NORTH!!!
Aeth: where?
Redi: HIBS INC! SOUTH!!!
Redi: STEALTHER ABOUT, TAKE CARE!
Aeth: Redi?
Redi: MIDS INC! NORTH!!!
Aeth: REDI!
Redi: ah... oopsy... sorry, my bad... wrong macros <blushes like a mental blushy thing>

by this point, half of the door force, is now milling around the casters, preparing for iminent attack by some horrible Hybrid zerg that will never come, and im feelin silly... :)

i stay silent for most of time in the frontier nowadays, and my macros are safely well away from my styles and Warcries now <heh!> :blush:
 
B

bellious

Guest
In a group at Lyonesse, killing trees.
Alb's get entrance to DF.
Some one says "lets go to DF, uber xp."
We all take the long journey to DF. We get to the entrance.
5 of us get in before mids get control of DF again. The last person who went to PK to see a healer couldn't get in.
Boy was he pissed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scout: "I can see a lone blue troll : )"
Me: "Where"
Scout "Hehe i bet i can kill him"
Me "Where"
Scout " Feck i missed"
Me " Where"
Scout: "Help me, he is gonna kill me"
Me: "Hello can u hear me, where!!!!!!!"
Scout: "Im here, over here hurry, he is gonna kill me"
Me: "Where is here"
Scout: " ffs, what r u a noob? U let him kill me, we could have had him!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In thid. Albs got biggest zerg. 2 mids running about near albs. I run up kill one of them. Get about 10 pm's telling me WTF y? They are friendly!! They didn't attack you!!!
Get asked to leave the cg and get kicked out of my gorup!
 
T

The Real Redi

Guest
"Albs got biggest zerg. 2 mids running about near albs. I run up kill one of them. Get about 10 pm's telling me WTF y? They are friendly!! They didn't attack you!!!
Get asked to leave the cg and get kicked out of my gorup!"
Click to expand...

yeah, why does this happen? lets get one thing down here, THE THREE REALMS ARE AT WAR!!!! Anyone whos not from Albion has every right to kill you, and you ahve every right to kill them!!!

How could you know if those two mids were friendly, and not just the forward scouts of a zerg? jesus christ, if Albs arent showing their arses and running like rabbits on crack, then theyre assuming the people you are tuning your characters to kill are FRIENDS??? The only way i can think that you would know they had no animositic intentions was to have spoken with them, and seeing as theyre from another realm it wouldve been "in a language you dont understand"... only other option, and yes, im fully aware that many of the high seasons use this, and conssider themselves great because of it: you are talking in IRC whilst playing.

now, either DAoX (illegal) is in use, or you have a second system running just for that... <facepalms> for a start, that would explain why the realm is becoming so predictable and repetative, as people from all the realms are talking to each other, and that removes any element of surprise or anything. Apart from that, can i ask how you can afford to run two pcs and still have a social life? oh... you dont... ok... <shrugs> that'll be 95% of the n00bs running around in Epic Armor, and not knowing their way to Hadrians.. :flame:

if you really want to play a decent MMORPG game, take it as it comes, stop hunting for patches, and fixes, and codes and all that other crap! PLAY IT AS IT IS! you say what you do enhances the game, well, perhaps if you tried to not be so bloody smart and l337, then you might find the game is quite bareable without them...

i know my posts are long, but i start to get the feeling that the CoC and the Licence T&C are being made a shambles of by far too many people, theres very few of us 'pure' DAoC players left from what i gather...


(edit: apologies fro hijacking your thread, that last one got my goat up ;) heh! )
 
C

cruhar

Guest
<sigh>

well all alb rezzers know this one:

Dead Guy: hell mister cleric ... can you rez me plz ?
Cleric/friar/pala: Sure mate, where are you ?
Dead guy: By Nymphs
<sigh>

there is about 7 spots with nymphs in a zone :rolleyes:

Or

Steather1: I see an enemy rezzer ... lets do him
Steather2: Sure thing ... I see him too
Steather3: yeah sure... will get them off our back!
~Silence
Steather1: You guys ready ? on 3
Steather2: ok
Steather3: Roger
----
Steather1:1
Steather1:2
Steather1:3
----
Steather1 was just killed by enemy rezzer
----
Steather1: Guys? why didnt you attack ?
Steather2: well I saw how he owned you, and them friends he had coming up from behind ... Nothanks!
Steather3: Sorry I was AFK

Or
This group:
Cleric
Infil
armsman
pala
sorc

This pala and armsman runs to pull 3 reds instead of letting the sorc pull with a debuff or something ...

2 out of the 3 mobs attack the cleric ... mez failes since the mobs was enraged....
Cleric dies
Repops on the armsman and pala they got 2 red a 2 purp ...
pala goes down ... sorc mezes ... infil runs into battle ... hits the mezed and starts to attack the mob the armsman is fighting ...
armsman and infil dies ... sorc runs... gets away and comes back

/who zone
/send rezzer Hi there, do you have 5 min for a rez at point X ?
Infil: Yo can you get a rezzer? unless looking at us will get us magicaly rezed
rezzer : sure, ill be right there
sorc: I got one Incomming
Infil: FFS stop pulling and get a rezzer
---
Rezzer was killed by Strong Mob
---
Sorc: i have to relog my rezzer... brb
---
Sorc in disguise: Ok rezzed my group gonna rez the rezzer who was coming for us---
---
You have rez'd X
sorc in disguise: /send infil Ok i'll be right back with sorc
Sorc: Ok im back ... reinvite please
Infil: im Sorry we dont have room, just merged with the other group, but could you log your rezzer and buff us please?

<sigh> hits windowskey... starts Futurama ;)
 
S

SFXman

Guest
1) -
Arsman - OMFG, I just got nuked by some git for more than 700 damage!!!!
Cleric - Where are you dead?
Armsman - at MPK
Sorc - Who killed you ?
Armsman - Some guy named Master of Runes
Me - <sigh>
Click to expand...

LOL! Yeh, heard that in Thid a lot of time...
 
M

maxgirth

Guest
Cornwall.

Me talking to group b4 hand.

"As we will be hunting here a lot guys it pays to get rooters neutral 1st".
peeps 1-7 " how max?".
" by killing boogeys"
many kills later,rooters now neutral.
then some1 pulls rooter!!!.
"wtf did you do that for" I yell?
peep 1 replies:-
" as rooters are neutral now we may as well make boogeys neutral to".:)

Pryd bridge.

Her- Can you buff me pls?
Me- I`m a merc, soz m8.
Her- Great,can you rezz my friend:)
`
Odins.

3 groups on way to take Bled 1 group misses port.


groups1-2.....shall we wait guys??
group 3......it`s ok we know the way.
groups1-2...we are here guys,eta???
group3.... we are lost.
groups1-2..loc??
group3.....emain:)
 
T

Turamber

Guest
When I first arrived in Hibernia/Excalibur I joined a newbie guild - you know the type, no one with a character over level 10 :)

Anyway one Sunday afternoon they had a guild meeting to be followed by guild RvR, well I doubted that it would happen (funnily enough!) so I carried on xp'ing and doing quests.

Listening to guild chat about 5 of them had their little guild meeting, then off they trotted to the Hibbie portal keep.

Whereupon they all bought medallions for Hibernia and sat on the pad, waiting to be whisked to Emain... :)

Bless :D
 
S

SilverHood

Guest
while racing from amg being by a horde of albs

whats that wall called again?
 
W

wyleia

Guest
heh....
........................................................................................................

Pally: Im lost in pennine, which way is hadrians wall
Me: Give me your /loc
Pally: 35 35
Me: Im near there brt to get u
Pally: ok

<fights off yellow drake and some other annoying thing.. 3min later at 35 35>

Me: Where are you? Im at yer /loc
Pally: Oh, nevermind m8 i found my way to hadrians


........................................................................................................

Amusing /yell while defending excalibur the other nite:

XXX yells: What the f** is excalibur??
........................................................................................................
And one of my favorites at pk bridge:
Random Grey con: Hi Wyleia, you know what I am going to say right?
Me: Yes of course, you are going to say Lovely evening Wyleia, I may be grey but i DO know that Sorceresses cannot buff
........................................................................................................
But even better than that at pk bridge:
Random Grey Con SORCEROR: Buff me plz
Me: Go buff yourself
Random Grey Con SORCEROR: Fine you are rude, you are a high level and wont help out lower levels
Me: Uhh ok, can you tell me which spell we get that is a buff spell then and i will buff you?
Random Grey Con SORCEROR: errrr <runs off>
........................................................................................................
but the best has to be the "HIBS" MIDS" yell ... then we rush to find one or two......
........................................................................................................


Wyleia Mythweaver
50th Sorc of The 30
http://www.the30.org.uk
 
P

Pixie.Pebr

Guest
Me: Go scout amg
x: ok
~ 3 mins later
x: mids here.
~ silence
Me: Numbers, classes, con?
----
Me: Go scout border penn/hw
x: ok
(version 1)
~ 3 mins later
x was killed by a brown drake.
(version 2)
~ 10 minutes later
x: mids inc
~silence
Me: Heading, numbers, classes, con?
----

I know it's not funny.
It's just bloody irritating.
Give proper bloody reports. :twak:
 
Z

zapzap

Guest
From last night !!!!

Infil Pa me
Infil Cd me
I hit pruge hit hit evade Cb Fg
Infil hit me again almost dead ,I see a NS behind me I use IP and kill the Infil.
Now runing after the Ns she hit me I kill her and next second I get this from a fellow mid.

Why u kill her u moron
Sorry what i ask ?
She was helping u
Sorry but wtf is going on ?

I must wonder how he knew what happend, sending me this MSG 2 second after i killed her. Are we not killing Ns anymore?
Or are there some from different realms we do not kill.
 
D

Dorin

Guest
Albion/Excalibur playing fire wiz alt.

lvl 1 char: can you buff me pls?
me: sure <buffs the guy>
lvl 1 char: thanks. and now give me some gold too plsssssssssssssss
me: Can give you 15s if that is enough.
lvl 1 char: I need 30g not 15s hehehe
me: iam lvl 8 i dont have that much
lvl 1 char: I need 30g not 15s hehehe
me: <tries to give the guy 15s who declines>
lvl 1 char: I need 30g not 15s hehehe
me: <runs away. lvl 1 following while yelling that he needs 30g, then lvl 1 char sees some higher lvl and buggers off>

Hibernia, Thidranki as Hero alt

me: come on guys, only 1fg of albs at alb bridge. I'm here with a bard, need help.
cg: we are at hpk, coming.
5mins later
me: albs still here, are you coming?
cg: we defending hpk, mids attacking it.
me: <goes back, about 2 mids camping hpk>
< kills them with bard>
me: ok mids down , pls follow lets finish the albs.
cg: we defending hpk, we wont die here. Wait here they will come
me: <cries>, but thats not fun guys.
cg: its fun!!! if you want to kill yourself , do it. We stay here.
me: <disbands from cg and log>
 
C

cruhar

Guest
:D

Keep it up :)

xxx - Can I have a buff please
me - Probably, but you have to find a Wizard or Theurgist
xxx - You buff me please ?
me - i cant im a paladin
xxx - Buff me!!
-- me casts self-af buff --
xxx - Thx
xxx runs
me - No problem...
------------------------------------------------------
yyy - can you rez my friend please
me - cant im a Theurgist, but hang on and ill log my rezzer
yyy - ok
-- me logs my paladin --
yyy - lol you n00b
me - Sorry ?
yyy - thats a paladin ... you cant rez
me - i can, im level 42
yyy - Look im not stupid, I got a level 37, and I cant rez
me - Ok, but I can reanimate her body then
yyy - OK
-- Me casts raise fallen --
yyy - You cheater #¤%# bastard! ill report you
( I sooo wish he was kidding)
--------------------------------------------------------
Proud in alliance-chat
zzz - 1.3 more gold and I have my first platina!!! :)
me - why you rich *** <laughs> What level are you ?
zzz - 31
me - who is your main
zzz - this is my highest

me wonders a little
me - How much gold do you have
zzz - 98.3 gold!!! :) want your school-money back ? bad math?
me - <no comments>
---------------------------------------------------------
In guild chat -
xyz - Im getting married ingame, I need your paladin as priest
me - congratulations! who is the lucky guy and why ?
xyz - its <inset name> and because he just powerleveled me
me - so you dont know him ?
xyz - yes, I just spend ½ an hour with him
me - so you known the guy for ½ an hour ?
xyz - <nods>
me - well it has to wait, I have to log shortly
/anon
 
T

The Real Redi

Guest
I'll tell you whats funny in the frontier;

2FG of albs standing at AMG in emain, theres 1FG of mids in the bowl, with a blue and a green in it then the cg goes:

skirmish leader: "Ok, the Norse is the healer, take out him and the 2 Dwarves first, they're the casters it seems. oh, and dont bunch up, gives them less of a chance at AoE... ok rdy?"
bbb: "rdy"
ccc: "rdy"
ddd: "aye"
skirmish leader: "ok... CHARGE!"
fff: "Get back thru the MG! we can hold them until reinforcements arrive!"

The blades flash from their scabards, and the thunder of feet as two fighters, and one caster step up to the plate, the other 13 in a beautiful piece of military strategy, turn and run back thru the MG.

skirmish leader is killed by n00btro11!
bbb is killed by Uber n00btro11sfr13nd!
ccc is in the same boat as bbb!

skirmish leader: "WTF DID YOU RUN FOR??? WE OUTNUMBERED THEM 2 to ONE YOU BUNCH OF TWATS!"
fff: "well, if you had a little patience you wouldnt be dead! im calling for reinforcements"

/gu MID ZERG AT AMG IN EMAIN!!!

<facepalms>

I wish i was born deaf, dumb and blind, then i would only have to deal with your sympathies...
 
V

vermillon

Guest
amg inteligence

This is something that happen to me before 2 days. I was at emain amg with some other Albs from our side of amg. Mids were from the other side. Since we didn't know their numbers we didn't want to try charge them yet. After a while we had opened the doors some time trying to count Mid numbers, apparently a green con Alb got too close and died to the Mid side of the amg.
So after i while i'm sending him a privet to ask him about numbers and so..

Me : Hi , i saw that you are dead at the other side , can you plz tell me how many are they?
xxx : I'm counting about 20
Me : Thanks ! i'll try to rez you ones we get to your side.
--silence--
xxx : Make that 25 !!
xxx : 4 Hunter, 5 healers , 3 Thanes, 5 Runies, 4 SBs , 4 Zerkers
xxx : One troll just put its foot on my face , shoe size 41!!!
Me --> falling of my chair..
 
O

old.Isos

Guest
hmmm this is a classic

we just ported to emain again after getting killed by the mids at amg

this between me and a pretty low lv armswoman

Armswoman: I'll go scout amg
me: why? there is 30 mids there!dont go, you will die and then we have to come res you
me: let the stealthers do the scouting
<Armswoman was killed by mid zerg!>
Armswoman:eeeumm could I get a res?
me: where?
Armswoman:im just in front of amg
me: *sight*
 
O

old.m0lder

Guest
Hehe.. I had a laugh the other day, when I, a Firbolg hero, dressed up in hooded cloak and cloth dress, wielding a caster staff just for fun (yeah, I looked just like a raver, or an eldricht on steroids).

I only got like out of TNN before a graycon firby naturalist asks me:

"ecxuse me, can I have a buff please?"

lol I totally cracked myself up there, but had to answer him when I stopped shaking..

"sorry, but I'm out of conc m8"


Hehe..people should start crossdressing more often. It makes some interesting looking characters, and I guess in RvR they would really wonder what class people are anyways... =op
 
V

Venemous

Guest
.

Ven meets exping grey con in DF.

Ven: Run norsey theres a crazy armsman coming
Norsey: /bow
Ven: Run you idiot
Norsey: <breaks out into his MC Hammer rendition> /dance
Ven: your gonna get a poleaxe in the back of the head now Run!!
Norsey: <remembers a few more moves he had up his sleeve> /dance
Ven: :/
Norsey: /clap
Shorti hits Norsey for 600 damage
Norsey was just killed by Shorti
 
G

Gabrial

Guest
I got told "Heal you fool!" by a theurgist in my group, just before our tank died, shortly followed by me.

I couldnt heal because of the gobbo whacking me, interrupting my spells as I fought desperately to save his life. When I explained this to him, he claimed I was making it up and that the health bar must be in my head because it didnt move (despite the fact that I died in front of him!)
 
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