Funny things new staff do at work?

[Naffets]

Surely everyone should have such stories?

Example, I found out today one of the new staff at work has been watering a plastic plant for 2 weeks before being told it was plastic

 

[psyco]

Example, I found out today one of the new staff at work has been watering a plastic plant for 2 weeks before being told it was plastic

im sorry, but that's just 2 stupid to believe

 

[soze]

My first day at a old job they told me to go and get a Long Weight and a Left Handed Hammer. Told them to piss off

 

[- English -]

from past experiences of mc donalds some funny things

:go temp the soil of the plants on lobby
:go get a bag of frozen air from the freezer
:count the seeds on big mac buns

amazing how many newbies do it :x

 

[Mojo]

im sorry, but that's just 2 stupid to believe

Someone at my place of work was doing the same thing, some people just don't think.

 

[Laddey]

Surely everyone should have such stories?

Example, I found out today one of the new staff at work has been watering a plastic plant for 2 weeks before being told it was plastic

I must say, hahahaha daft bastard. I wish i was there. I would have laughed so hard.

Don't really know to be honest, funniest thing is the new lad at work propping the table up whilest his hands are in his pockets. We got him to cut some stuff and he took a finger off. ololol :touch:

 

[Devilseye]

making a nub go buy some sparks for a sparkplug..
and idd. the left handed hammer :')

was another1.. which i have forget.. maybe later!
Oh we once made a nub @ work emptying a "sorta" cellar which was filled with water.. with a bucket..

after 30mins. he also came to conclusing that that "cellar" held like 15m² :')
ah well he had something to do for a while

 

[liloe]

Well we had some guy from one of those temp-work companies and he was really stupid. I work in a storage and he stood in front of a row of cauliflower for ages. I came closer and then he asked me: "Sry, is this broccoli?"

I nearly pissed my pants, but ofc I had to stay serious =)

 

[psyco]

Well we had some guy from one of those temp-work companies and he was really stupid. I work in a storage and he stood in front of a row of cauliflower for ages. I came closer and then he asked me: "Sry, is this broccoli?"

I nearly pissed my pants, but ofc I had to stay serious =)

why were you storing cauliflower, and why were you both in the general area of?

 

[Devilseye]

maybe because he/she/"it" works in a storage facility?

 

[Bugz]

I know in the prison service a lot of the new, young recruits have a habit of using a compass etc. to find out where Mecca is for those who pray. Whereas the more experianced guys tends to just point in a ranom direction ^^.

 

[Serbitar]

A guy who started at our place recently was given a laptop in the morning of his first day. by that lunchtime he had spilled a glass of water on it completely buggering it

 

[Naetha]

This is ripped completely off B3ta, but still made me laugh

Trainees... sorry if this is long but this should be recorded...
This is ALL true. *shudder*

In a previous job I managed a store selling materials for loft conversions. There was only one staffer per store but occasionally I was sent a trainee, so they were, in a sense, customers of mine. One in particular was monumentally stupid... here is a *very* short list of his worst foibles...

In the first week, he ran out of fuel 3 times on the way to work. His petrol guage was broken and instead of keeping the tank topped up (or fixing it), he tried to calculate his fuel consumption for each journey and bought accordingly. He was bad at maths. Monkey.

He could not work out how to put staples into a stapler, nor figure out the safety catch on a hole punch. He honestly thought that credit card machines worked by braille, reading the card number, not the magnetic strip and almost broke a customer's Visa card by trying to force it.

He went to another branch to collect a long weight (wait) and still hadn't figured it out when they sent him back THREE hours later.

We had display staircases and loft ladders that needed varnishing. He did a staircase starting on the bottom step and worked his way up! At this point I had given up on him and just let him do it. Later that day I said he could go early if he went to the local DIY superstore for some stripey paint *it had to go from top right to bottom left* to decorate our store room. He appologised the next day and said he had tried 3 other stores but none could help. It took me 10 minutes to then explain why you couldn't get stripey paint.

I know this is long but I'm nearly done.....

Finally I got shot of him and sent him to another store. (The background here is that I banked each day's takings at the Girobank in the local Post Office). The other manager needed a wood sample sending to a customer and gave the addressed package plus stamp money to our friend. He promptly walked past the GPO in Richmond and into the bank, queued up and asked the teller how much his parcel would cost to send. Bank clerk looked for hidden cameras and said that he would have to go next door (where the Post Office was). Monkey boy instead queued at the next window in the bank, got the same answer and then had a barney saying they were taking the piss. He then returned in a strop to the store, past the post office and when asked why replied "they said it was a bank". Stupid cranberry thought if you could bank in a post office the reverse was true.

The worst thing? He had a 2.i degree. From the University of North London (Tottenham). I fear for the future.

 

[eksdee]

made people at work do some funny things, abuse of power is great

polishing the beer kegs in the cellar

collecting all the coke cups from the cinema screens, washing them up and reusing them

polishing the toilet walls with bog roll and the hand-dispenser soap

i think the best one was telling one person to give all the customers the silent treatment, so about half of our customers all day missed the start of their film because they didn't know where to go. got a fuckload of complaints but it was worth it.

 

[Belgerath]

Hum these are a few i do on or newbies.

Ask the chef is there is any Leg of Salmon left.

This is how to wrap the cutlery left handed.

Can you hand me down the left handed pepper grinder.

You have to brush the carpet with the carpet brush before you hover it every night.

All Classics and helpful to see if the new employee has a sence of humour

 

[old.Tohtori]

And none of these people here tell what THEY had to do and fell for *grin*

Why? Too ashamed.

Though now that i say it, they'll do two things: A: Say some stuff they did so that they can "prove" their not ashamed or B: Deny that they ever did anything

Oh by the way, wrapping the cutlery left handed is a handy trick to know

Also brushing the carpet is rather good thing to do. Since you have to wash the floors, walls, cup, pans, counters, etc etc anyway.

 

[psyco]

I know in the prison service a lot of the new, young recruits have a habit of using a compass etc. to find out where Mecca is for those who pray. Whereas the more experianced guys tends to just point in a ranom direction ^^.

there not preying right then, you have to face north...

 

[Naetha]

Oh, when I was 8 years old I was washing my Dad's car - he told me to put some elbow grease into it.

I promptly went to the shed, looked through all the stuff there (engine oil, WD40 etc etc) then went back to my Dad to ask him where he kept the elbow grease.

How he laughed

 

[Heta]

They tried to tell me I couldnt throw away some metaltubes(silikon to be precise) after they were empty as they were gonna be refiled, I told them to screw them self and threw it away anyhow. Then I pulled in a water hoze and sprayed those who told it to me when they took a shower (ice cold water in the hoze)

for some reason they didn't think it was as fun as I did.

 

[psyco]

Oh, when I was 8 years old I was washing my Dad's car - he told me to put some elbow grease into it.

I promptly went to the shed, looked through all the stuff there (engine oil, WD40 etc etc) then went back to my Dad to ask him where he kept the elbow grease.

How he laughed

heh, i done that when i was younger

 

[liloe]

why were you storing cauliflower, and why were you both in the general area of?

Well, I work in the ALDI storage department and the crew I work for does fruits and vegetables =)

 

[Ormorof]

Oh, when I was 8 years old I was washing my Dad's car - he told me to put some elbow grease into it.

I promptly went to the shed, looked through all the stuff there (engine oil, WD40 etc etc) then went back to my Dad to ask him where he kept the elbow grease.

How he laughed

lol thats awesome

 

[psyco]

Well, I work in the ALDI storage department and the crew I work for does fruits and vegetables =)

so, what does a normal day consist of for you then?

"yep, the've not mutated today bob..."

 

[liloe]

so, what does a normal day consist of for you then?

"yep, the've not mutated today bob..."

Loading fruits, loading vegetables, getting onto my vehicle and killing people with it, what did you think?

 

[psyco]

Loading fruits, loading vegetables, getting onto my vehicle and killing people with it, what did you think?

gosh that sounds boring...

 

[Basic_X]

Or how about the new guy who was suppose to log off our IT system, he pushed the wrong button and shut down one or our servers instead





oh wait..that was me

 

[tris-]

one new guy at work burnt him self on something at least once everyday he was there.

he also had no interest in following my advice to run the burns under cold water. instead he left them and kept complaining how the intense heat made them worse.