Funny enough to have reason to be resurrected, funny IRC quotes.

S

SFXman

Guest
Real IRC quotes... taken from the Top 1-100 @ http://www.bash.org/?top2

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

----------------

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

----------------

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

---------------------

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

---------------------

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an asshole -
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

---------------------

<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point

---------------------

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

--------------------

<Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error :eek:
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
<Spazz> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> fuck
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >:)
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying fuck
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying fukc
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> fuck*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says fuck and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

------------------------

<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
<FM{FF1}> ...men.
<FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

--------------------------

* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.

---------------------------

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

-------------------------

Look at the Top 1-50 and 51-100 yourself for more :D

:clap:
 
S

SFXman

Guest
lol... few more that I had to add in-case you miss them.

<incarnate> hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now
<incarnate> " "
<cres> i dont get it

--------------------

<FreshBrew> IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
<FreshBrew> HELL FUCKING YES
<kolby> you still in english?

----------------------

<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
 
B

Belsameth

Guest
<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

this one is so fucking funny!
 
V

vestax

Guest
This one is just evul...

<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:\*.*
<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
<Blitz> it wont
<J0E> omfg, its deleting!
<Blitz> no, its scanning
<J0E> it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect

Americans....

<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph

This one is the best :)

<Nookadum> I need to learn html can anyone help?
<Blar> Sure. Just put this on your webpage and when you go there a cool editor for it will come up - N
o
o
k
a
d
u
m

S
u
c
k
s

C
o
c
k.
<Nookadum> Thanks.
* Nookadum has quit IRC (Quit: Off to work on my webpage. ^-^)

Some time later.

* Nookadum has joined #Megatokyo
<Nookadum> Hey! Fuck you!
<Blar> Alright. I forgot to tell you, you have to press F4 for it to work. That message is just protecting the secret of the editor.
<Nookadum> Oh.. Alright.
* Nookadum has quit IRC (Connection reset by client)
 
O

old.Pepsay

Guest
Originally posted by vestax
This one is just evul...

<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:\*.*
<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
<Blitz> it wont
<J0E> omfg, its deleting!
<Blitz> no, its scanning
<J0E> it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect

rofl!
 
B

Bleeker

Guest
/quote
<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'
/endquote





:ROFLMAO:

im still laughing...cant stop....omg.....CANT STOP!!!



aaaargh.....oh! ups i wet my pants


ok i stopped now...(going back to read some more)
 
U

Uncle Sick(tm)

Guest
<jim_trim> How To Know If a girl likes you
<jim_trim> ?
<sarah> Quite simple: If she sits naked on your hand, and it feels like a horse is eating out of your palm, she likes you.

Hehehe... I don't know why but I nearly choked from laughing. :D
 
S

SFXman

Guest
Originally posted by Uncle Sick(tm)


Hehehe... I don't know why but I nearly choked from laughing. :D
lol.... that one was hilarious :D
Still laughing, funneeeh....

LOL:

<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!
 
U

Uncle Sick(tm)

Guest
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

Poor Krypt :(
 
S

SFXman

Guest
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
LOL! */em is still laughing*
I remembered this quote as I read through but it's damn funny.
 
S

Sharma

Guest
[01:26] <xtrioN> what should a mind/body sorc spec`?
[01:26] <[D]Hubu> mind/body

Kept me laffin for ageeeeees!
 
N

Novamir

Guest
<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

:clap:
 
A

Addlcove

Guest
one for soulcatcher

<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's
 
U

Uncle Sick(tm)

Guest
Originally posted by Teh Krypt


Male pron aint my thing, Dad :p

*signs Krypt over to a gay couple*
Bu-bye, sonny. Make sure you shower often.
 
T

Teh Krypt

Guest
Originally posted by Uncle Sick(tm)


*signs Krypt over to a gay couple*
Bu-bye, sonny. Make sure you shower often.

*smells his armpits*

Ah the smell of a love king! ;)
 
S

Sibanac

Guest
even more :

http://silliness.localhost.dk/

11:26 <kuiken> i love my magic 8ball, i use it to plan my day
11:26 <kuiken> like "should i do the dishes now"
11:26 <kuiken> damn it said yes
11:27 <kuiken> best of 3
 
S

SFXman

Guest
Some of those are just so freaking hilarious... you could spend days reading them.
 
S

StormriderX

Guest
#1825 +(617)- [X]

<madthink> what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do
<maff> I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come out
<maff> with frosting and everything
<madthink> i need to get revenge in the worst way
<maff> cinnamon rolls arent really revenge


#14258 +(635)- [X]

<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards


#7444 +(659)- [X]

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.


#12318 +(561)- [X]

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat


LMFAO :ROFLMAO:
 
S

Sharma

Guest
#12318 +(561)- [X]

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat

LMFAO!
 
S

Sharma

Guest
Drea dn Loch fighting :p

[02:32] * Loch was kicked by Drea (*snap* *crackle* *pop*)
[02:32] * Loch has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:32] * L sets mode: +o Loch
[02:32] <Septina> ;PP
[02:32] * Drea was kicked by Loch (Silence you rice crispie you :s)
[02:32] * Drea has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:32] * L sets mode: +o Drea
[02:32] * Loch was kicked by Drea (Are you feeling lucky?)
[02:32] * Loch has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:32] * L sets mode: +o Loch
[02:32] * Drea was kicked by Loch (Dunno, are you? :l)
[02:32] * Drea has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:32] * L sets mode: +o Drea
[02:33] * Loch was kicked by Drea (Violence is never a solution, but it can be entertaining)
[02:33] * Loch has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:33] * L sets mode: +o Loch
[02:33] <Artagel> lol :eek:
[02:33] * Drea was kicked by Loch (Ha, violence is a problem, not a solution :/ but then I've been told i'm a problem too, so. :D)
[02:33] * Drea has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:33] * L sets mode: +o Drea
[02:34] * Loch was kicked by Drea (There's the exit, learn it well)
[02:34] * Loch has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:34] * L sets mode: +o Loch
[02:34] * Drea was kicked by Loch (Yes, it's a door.. Hey, why don't you use the window? :))
[02:34] * Drea has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:34] * L sets mode: +o Drea
[02:34] * Teknoid has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
[02:34] * Loch was kicked by Drea (P.S. This doesn't mean we can't be friends)
[02:34] * Loch has joined #sotl.prydwen
[02:34] * L sets mode: +o Loch
 

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