Friend died on Sunday

Hawkwind

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So, as the title says a good friend and business contact of 17 years died on Sunday. He was 44 years old and died on the operating table having gone to hospital with chest pains. Met with him in Istanbul two weeks ago and he seemed very stressed out. He complained that he was overworked, working every night and most weekends.

I'm still in shock to be honest but it is a real wake up call for me personally. I'm seriously wondering if getting stupidly overpaid is really worth the stress of the job I do (Program Management). I'm not daft I know stress kills and there is a lot more to life than work, but this is the first time I have had a close friend die like this.

Anyone else in a stressful job considering downsizing?
 

old.Tohtori

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Always choose health over work.

Making tons of money means nothing if you kick the bucket at 44 and if you DO kick thee bucket anyway, you'd wish that you wouldn't have spent all your life working.

Any job that doesn't have atleast one day a week off, gets a solid no from me.

Don't start slacking off, but keep a limit.
 

Hawkwind

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I'm healthy enough, gym 6 times a week, never smoked and I don't drink much anymore. But I do have a stressful job where working most evenings for a couple of hours is expected. Mainly due to company being US based and the time differences with Middle East. Our evening is the start of their working day.

I'm kinda stuck with the hours I have to do. I think this is true of many people due to the globalisation of modern businesses. I do get 1 and half days off each week so it's not that bad. Although, most of that is taken up with running my son to his Rugby or Football training.

Also agree that money is not everything but then worrying about the colour of a new car is better than worrying about whether you can actually afford it along with the insurance.

I need to change somethings, just not quite sure what or how drastic to be. Still in shock as well. As right now I feel I should just quit and head back to Blighty ASAP.
 

old.Tohtori

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No need to quit really, and never make life choices after such events. Give it some time, but keep that thought in the back of your head and see where you can change things, without changing too much.
 

Calaen

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As you probably know hawk, sometimes in any job taking a break just is not an option, if an important task needs to be completed you'll stick at it until it's done.

My wifes brother had a great job working for Lidl, but the whole being on call 24/7 thing started to annoy him, he spoke to his own bosses and explained the situation. Because they valued him as an eployer, they started to give him alot of freedom within the worknig environment which allowed him to enjoy his job and personal life more.

Have a chat with your dudes and see if there is anything they can do for you.
 

cHodAX

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Short term stay where you are, the UK is fucked at the moment and the stresses of unemployment or the risk of losing your job are very unhealthy stresses. If you want to come home then give yourself a year or two, come back at the right time for you and your family but never rush into a decision of this magnitude bud.

Very sorry to hear about your friend, 44 is no age at all. I had to make some drastic changes to my life earlier this year for health reasons and I don't regret them but at the time it was a massive shock to the system.
 

Raven

Happy Shopper Ray Mears
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work to live not live to work!

Nail on the head. Whats the point in working all hours if you don't have the time away from it to enjoy it, or when you are away from it you are thinking about it all the time?

Been there, done that, hated it.
 

fettoken

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Never had a close friend of mine die so i cannot really relate to, only imagine how it must feel.

When it comes to stress, i guess it can manifest in different ways. If you work with people you are comfortable with, and its hard work maybe you wont get as stressed. Try yoga/acupuncture etc, its a proven method against stress and tension. You gotta be Zen dude.
 

Imgormiel

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Lost a few friends in my time. First one to go is always the hardest. But I am coming to terms with the whole death concept now. I am getting old and there's gonna be more of it in my life time before I go. It's not getting any better - just that I have more of an acceptance of what is to come. Knowing that makes it a little easier.
 

Ezteq

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I am very sorry to hear about your friend Hawk, it is very sad and shocking when someone goes unexpectedly.

as for the other issue, like the folks said, there is no point earning money if you are not about to enjoy it with your loved ones. However, just because you have a high pressure job does not mean you will suffer the same fate as your friend, lots of people live happily under such conditions but if it doesn't feel right for you then stop it.

Take care hon, hope you are alright

xx
 

Dark Orb Choir

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sorry about your friend dude, its that age old work/life balance shizzle

i used to be a programmer/analyst programmer/business analyst, i stopped doing that as i was about to explode with stress 10+ years is enough for anyone doing that shit.......


now i work 35 hours a week in support, less stress and more time to spend with the family, nothing is worth your health, not all the money in the world, sure it buys you nice things, but yuo still end of fucking yourself up emotionally and physically, its just not worth the risk........

just my 2p
 

soze

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First off all sorry to hear about your friend.

And i really do believe stress kills which is why i work in the role i do. I regularly cover the roles of people 2 or 3 levels above me when they are on holiday and can defiantly do the job. Some people say i have a lack of ambition but i just like an easy life and until i can not earn enough at the bottom i do not want to go anywhere.
 

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