Friday night mistakes

[Trallisx]

Falling asleep in a toliet in a resteraunt, the fuckers never checked so i wake up 4 am , asleep , trousers around the ankles , everything is pitch black . I get dressed , wander upstairs to the main floor , and nothing around.
I foned the R0zzers to say that i'd been locked in , and procded to start banking on the shutters to the outside , get my head clean blown off when the alarm went off, the speaker was about 2 foor to my right. the owners show up start giving out to me. I just shrug and walk out on them =).

I've done something similar.

Me and a couple of mates went round Manchester for a saturday nght out, got totally wasted and decided to head to China Town for some food. We get inside the restaurant where I tried to sit down and promptly fell flat on my arse.
After waiting about 15 mins a waiter finally takes our order. I, being in an intense state of drunkardness begin to order around 3-4 meals for myslef (apparently as I have no recollection of this).
Once ordered I figure now would be a great time to visit the bog, where I manage to fall asleep. My mates didn't even bother looking for me until they had finished eating and putting what was left into doggy bags to take home for breakfast.

A mate of mine had been out all day on the Guinness. I and a few others had met him and some other lads to carry on boozing. at about 11pm it was time to head to a club.
Once we were in the club my mate made a sharp exit to the khazee. When he got back I noticed that he was only wearing 1 sock.
He told me once he got into the club he had the urge to fart and being on guinness all day he managed to follow through. He went to the bog where there was no bog roll so he used his sock and then thrown it at the DJ booth!

Other things I've done are waking up in strange locations, park benches, train stations bus stations.

 

[Ezteq]

aw ffs lol Thats Minging!!!!!

gotta give a point out of 10 for inventiveness though.

 

[Adrianicus]

I've done something similar.

Me and a couple of mates went round Manchester for a saturday nght out, got totally wasted and decided to head to China Town for some food. We get inside the restaurant where I tried to sit down and promptly fell flat on my arse.
After waiting about 15 mins a waiter finally takes our order. I, being in an intense state of drunkardness begin to order around 3-4 meals for myslef (apparently as I have no recollection of this).
Once ordered I figure now would be a great time to visit the bog, where I manage to fall asleep. My mates didn't even bother looking for me until they had finished eating and putting what was left into doggy bags to take home for breakfast.

A mate of mine had been out all day on the Guinness. I and a few others had met him and some other lads to carry on boozing. at about 11pm it was time to head to a club.
Once we were in the club my mate made a sharp exit to the khazee. When he got back I noticed that he was only wearing 1 sock.
He told me once he got into the club he had the urge to fart and being on guinness all day he managed to follow through. He went to the bog where there was no bog roll so he used his sock and then thrown it at the DJ booth!

Other things I've done are waking up in strange locations, park benches, train stations bus stations.

The bit about the sock had me in tears

 

[Darksword]

Are you a guy and is she Bi sexual? or you a lesbian?

im so fucking confused.

im the guy yes and she is bi yeh.

and nah ez, yeh they were dickheads bout this whole thing coz tbh i should have just asked her out or something like 2 months ago when we were talking all the time and stuff but .

we all get our fair share of shit from each other tho lol

just wish this whole thing was over, or i could travel back in time or something, kinda sucks coz we havent really spoke about the whole thing but we're kinda talking now, just wish i knew where i stood, i mean i know she doesnt like me like that or anything (or she would have said something) but.

lol the sock story is sick! what did the DJ do?

 

[DocWolfe]

The technical term for it is "a sock job" I can't remember number of times I've been waiting for the loo and some bloke come out and says "that was a sock job"

 

[Garnet]

Hmm I so caked I ordered some food from a hot dog stand in Newcastle. Anyway my friends didnt wait for me so I started running towards them and somehow run full on into a brickwall head first, bounced off it and continue walking to them. Pain went away after 30 seconds though it was different in the morning, had a black eye and a little cut . Cant remember any other stories though.

 

[Conchabar]

lol my brain would never let me do anything like that i have a safety lock hehe im perfect

though i could tell u some really bad paranoid trips that would scare anyone

the closest thing i have to anything like u guys have is on new years eve where i drank wine & champaign (have no clue how many bottles all i know is they were expensive and filled up the floor) round my cousins from 12 am to 7 pm as well as smoking weed non stop hit the pubs drank afew beers and then a pint of guiness was feeling quite sober till i drank the guiness which just didnt settle on my stomach at all..... then my friends cuz asks me to come out for a few blunts outside the pub........ my cuz being the smart one doesnt take any of the blunt and i just chug (this weed was straight from amsterdam) ... next second im spinning and im back in the stinky cig smoke filled pub sit down and puke all over the table... oc i picked my self up ^_^ the night just got better hehe i'll let u guys just think how the night got better

 

[Cirandi]

A mate of mine did a really, really funny thing once... We were in a bar, rocker joint where a lot of bikers hang out. He was pretty pished and went to the bathroom to throw up. He came back like a minute later looking all paniced and basically dragged me out of there.

Here's what happened: He went in to the bathroom, jerked open one of the stall doors and threw up... Unfortunately, there was already a guy sitting there having a crapper so my friend throws up all over him. Through his alcohol-poisoned mind goes the thought "OMGOMGOMGHE'LLKILLMEOMGOMG!!!"
So what does he do? Apologizes? NO! He smacks the guy in the face and runs out of there, goes back to me and we leave in extreme hurry.

It's even more funny if you think of it from the other guys perspective;

Tehre he sits, having a crapper in peace. His mind is calm, and he is one with his chi. All of a sudden, someone jerks the door open, spukes all over him, stares at him in bewilderment for a second and then, as if puking at him wasn't enough, punches his nose in! I'd be quite pissed off after something like that

I won't tell you any stuff i've done, i've been quite wild and i don't want to ruin my rep as a proper, responsible guild officer hehe

 

[Kaun_IA]

A mate of mine did a really, really funny thing once... We were in a bar, rocker joint where a lot of bikers hang out. He was pretty pished and went to the bathroom to throw up. He came back like a minute later looking all paniced and basically dragged me out of there.

Here's what happened: He went in to the bathroom, jerked open one of the stall doors and threw up... Unfortunately, there was already a guy sitting there having a crapper so my friend throws up all over him. Through his alcohol-poisoned mind goes the thought "OMGOMGOMGHE'LLKILLMEOMGOMG!!!"
So what does he do? Apologizes? NO! He smacks the guy in the face and runs out of there, goes back to me and we leave in extreme hurry.

It's even more funny if you think of it from the other guys perspective;

Tehre he sits, having a crapper in peace. His mind is calm, and he is one with his chi. All of a sudden, someone jerks the door open, spukes all over him, stares at him in bewilderment for a second and then, as if puking at him wasn't enough, punches his nose in! I'd be quite pissed off after something like that

I won't tell you any stuff i've done, i've been quite wild and i don't want to ruin my rep as a proper, responsible guild officer hehe

hhahaaha the best imo, laughed for 10 mins thinkg about it. that would have been a sight to see

 

[Sharansen]

½ year ago me and some mates had moved into an apartment, and decided to throw a party. We got quite drunk as usual, I went to bed around 3 am, but 3 others were still up. At 4.30 am or so i wake up, one of the guests was standing in my door saying he had to tell me something. He told me one of the guys i lived with had gone to the toilet 30 min earlier, after 10 min of him being gone the two others got a bit worried, so they went to check on him. Here comes the fun part. They found him on the bathroom floor. He had passed out while taking a piss and was lying on the bathroom floor, with his dick in his hand and he had pissed all over himself, while laying there sleeping. I found this quite amusing.

 

[Ezteq]

Tehre he sits, having a crapper in peace. His mind is calm, and he is one with his chi. All of a sudden, someone jerks the door open, spukes all over him, stares at him in bewilderment for a second and then, as if puking at him wasn't enough, punches his nose in! I'd be quite pissed off after something like that

omg thats the best ever!!

 

[Marc]

Gamblor came to blackpool for a few beers. Had a couple of pints of guiness and pulled a 70 year old granny hahaha

 

[Cirandi]

omg thats the best ever!!

Yeah, i was rolling on the floor, litterally, when he told me what happened.

 

[Maxgirth]

It`s time to meet the new gf`s parents,i`ve rushed back from football training ( under orders, you turn up late blah blah ).To be welcomed, by every relative possible, to get under one roof.
After the initial cringey introductions, things were going ok, until the family cat decided to jump onto my lap, as I started stroking it, it done the cat thing with it`s paws, oh no (wicked willy moment inc). Sitting there with my football shorts on, trying to keep the cat on my lap for obvious reasons, a look of pure terror on my face as my gf said " we have to drop nan off now ".
Such was my panic, and main priority of trying to keep the cat on my lap, I hadn`t been listening to a word they said.
By now every one in the room was looking at me, the cat was now probably more worried than me, as i`m trying to keep him close, whilst standing up, he`s dug his claws in.
Making me thrust upwards, just as her mum was starting to stand up from the settee, my impending boner nearly taking her eye out, that happened a very long time ago and still makes me cringe to this day

 

[Darksword]

It`s time to meet the new gf`s parents,i`ve rushed back from football training ( under orders, you turn up late blah blah ).To be welcomed, by every relative possible, to get under one roof.
After the initial cringey introductions, things were going ok, until the family cat decided to jump onto my lap, as I started stroking it, it done the cat thing with it`s paws, oh no (wicked willy moment inc). Sitting there with my football shorts on, trying to keep the cat on my lap for obvious reasons, a look of pure terror on my face as my gf said " we have to drop nan off now ".
Such was my panic, and main priority of trying to keep the cat on my lap, I hadn`t been listening to a word they said.
By now every one in the room was looking at me, the cat was now probably more worried than me, as i`m trying to keep him close, whilst standing up, he`s dug his claws in.
Making me thrust upwards, just as her mum was starting to stand up from the settee, my impending boner nearly taking her eye out, that happened a very long time ago and still makes me cringe to this day

WHAT? :|

 

[Ezteq]

just as her mum was starting to stand up from the settee, my impending boner nearly taking her eye out, that happened a very long time ago and still makes me cringe to this day

LOL tbh could have gone worse your gf could have introduced you as "hay mum and dad this is my new bf Maxgirth" aswell as almost skull shagging her mother Oo

 

[Hansmoleman]

guy got an erection over a cat? seek out medical attention.

 

[Maxgirth]

guy got an erection over a cat? seek out medical attention.

Aye, kinda misread the whole pussy thing

 

[Maxgirth]

LOL tbh could have gone worse your gf could have introduced you as "hay mum and dad this is my new bf Maxgirth" aswell as almost skull shagging her mother Oo

Whenever I was around the dreaded mil, bj`s were always on my mind (only for the 10 minute silence). Fuck that woman could talk,I think she was constantly speeding her tits off tbh

 

[Maxgirth]

Recent piccy of mrs in playboy outfit.

 

[Ezteq]

All Together Now.....
and a one
and a two
and a one two three


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!