Vladamir
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2003
- Messages
- 15,105
Enjoy
A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
His elbow goes into her bre*st. They are both quite startled.The man
Turns to her and says "Ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your
bre*st, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your d*ck is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
*****************************************************
A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman.
He notices she is reading a manual about s*xual statistics. He
asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book.
It says that American Indians have the longest p*nises and
Greek men are the best in bed.
By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."
*******************************************************
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry
honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he
rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist
appointment tomorrow too?"
*******************************************************
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife
that he had terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his p*
nis
into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a s*x therapist to talk about
it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home.
His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong. Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you
how I had this tremendous urge to put my p*
nis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did."
"My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean,
What happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."
*******************************************************
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting
at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just
think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table
together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here
n*ked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered,
"Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,
"My n*pples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your tea and the other is in your porridge."
If you think they're old, then fuck off i don't care
A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
His elbow goes into her bre*st. They are both quite startled.The man
Turns to her and says "Ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your
bre*st, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your d*ck is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
*****************************************************
A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman.
He notices she is reading a manual about s*xual statistics. He
asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book.
It says that American Indians have the longest p*nises and
Greek men are the best in bed.
By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."
*******************************************************
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry
honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he
rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist
appointment tomorrow too?"
*******************************************************
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife
that he had terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his p*
nis
into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a s*x therapist to talk about
it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home.
His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong. Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you
how I had this tremendous urge to put my p*
nis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did."
"My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean,
What happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."
*******************************************************
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting
at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just
think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table
together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here
n*ked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered,
"Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,
"My n*pples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your tea and the other is in your porridge."
If you think they're old, then fuck off i don't care
