Friday Joke

Bahumat

FH is my second home
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
16,788
"DON'T FART IN BED"
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you!!!
This is a story about a couple (BugZ and Gamah) who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's (BugZ) habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife (Gamah) and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where BugZ was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, Gamah pulled back the elastic
waist band of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard BugZ waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
Gamah could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, BugZ came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. Gamah bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Gamah, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked Gamah.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!!!
 

Bahumat

FH is my second home
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
16,788
Umm, too late, he already wears his grandparents' undies :x

I just :ninja: your name and it spelt Gimmli....is there something you're not telling me?

Gonna rep your face off if it lets me!
 

Imgormiel

Part of the furniture
Joined
Apr 18, 2004
Messages
4,372
I just :ninja: your name and it spelt Gimmli....is there something you're not telling me?

Gonna rep your face off if it lets me!

Check invisible pm's for answer, I believe indian ink is still in use these days :p
 

preacherboy

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
754
"DON'T FART IN BED"
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you!!!
This is a story about a couple (BugZ and Gamah) who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's (BugZ) habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife (Gamah) and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where BugZ was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, Gamah pulled back the elastic
waist band of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard BugZ waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
Gamah could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, BugZ came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. Gamah bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Gamah, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked Gamah.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!!!
Great stuff have a rep:)
 

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,347
Gamah's banned Gamah's banned tralalalalalalalalalala !
 

CorNokZ

Currently a stay at home dad
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
19,781
But will we EVER see our good old uncle Gamgams again? :O

When he was suspeneded from Freddyshouse last time, he swore that he would never return and we have never ever seen him since :ninja:
 

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,347
People get banned for:
- Breaking the Cock of Conduct
- Saying anything that a mod doesn't like
- Talking about torrents, aids, death, homosexuality, sex, drugs, computers, technology, jobs, women, dentists, rats, chairs, dildos, graphics cards, alcohol, driving lessons, shaving, heavy metal, Brittney Spears, puberty, vaginas, golden eagles, fork-lift trucks, badgers, weasels, France, Romanian history, pop music, movies, Playstation, Bill Gates, sport, tiddly winks, rubber chickens, electricity, Ancient Greece, georgraphy, astrophysics, whisky, Canada, dolphins, Halloween, religion, politics, GOA, or turds.
 

Overdriven

Dumpster Fire of The South
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
12,988
- Talking about torrents, aids, death, homosexuality, sex, drugs, computers, technology, jobs, women, dentists, rats, chairs, dildos, graphics cards, alcohol, driving lessons, shaving, heavy metal, Brittney Spears, puberty, vaginas, golden eagles, fork-lift trucks, badgers, weasels, France, Romanian history, pop music, movies, Playstation, Bill Gates, sport, tiddly winks, rubber chickens, electricity, Ancient Greece, georgraphy, astrophysics, whisky, Canada, dolphins, Halloween, religion, politics, GOA, or turds.

Lets see if I can do this.. A story using every single word above:


One day, a million years ago. The days where GoA, France and Ancient Greece were run by homsexual drug abusing rat women. A aids infested dolphin from Canada; golden-eagled a heavy metal whiskey drinking, rat used technology to come to the future, where he wished death apon Bill Gates. While doing so, badgers dressed as rubber chickens used electricty to power their computers - so they could torrent Britney Spear's vagina.

Sadly, the badgers were big fans of religion and politics; and as they were keen fans of Romanian history they were barred from doing this, having a dentist warm them about the concequences. Which involved a pre-puberty, weasel loving playstation fanboi; force them to listen to pop music, on halloween, while doing a joint major in astrophyics and geography.

This wasn't the worst punishment though... The worst punishment was watching movies based around fork-lift trucks doing intense sports, such as Tiddly Winks, musical chairs with a driver who had no previous driving lessons, no previous jobs and who had a fetish for graphic cards and turds.
 

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,347
LOL !!

But you didn't mention dildos. Shame !

Consider yourself uber-banned.....*time passes*....

Welcome back !
 

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