Fosters

[Vladamir]

An Australian guy is traveling around the Greek Islands .

He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian Barmaid.

As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent. Over the
course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he
asks if she wants to come back to his place.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him.

As she is traveling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia . - " Melbourne ", he tells her.

"So am I. What suburb?" she enquires. "Glen Iris" he replies.

"That's amazing........." she says excitedly, "..........so am I - what street?" " Cameo Street " he replies.

"This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering. "What number?" "Number 20", he replies.

She is totally astonished.

"You are NOT going to believe this........", she screams, "but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"


HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN, THINKS AUSTRALIAN

 

[Amildin]

On a side note, Fosters is piss

 

[Laddey]

rofl, nice joke. Wifebeater is better than Fossy's though.

 

[Himse]

that was fucking brilliant XD

 

[evzy]

Very funny though when observed as a true life situation it obviously is fake as you think she would know her next door neighbour and her father would have called to tell her he was bringing cash, that or he would have wired it to her...for those inconsistencies in your joke I shall not be repping you for it

Was funneh though

 

[cHodAX]

Lol nice one

 

[Vladamir]

Very funny though when observed as a true life situation it obviously is fake as you think she would know her next door neighbour and her father would have called to tell her he was bringing cash, that or he would have wired it to her...for those inconsistencies in your joke I shall not be repping you for it

Was funneh though

Bitchface

 

[Ezteq]

heheheh v good.

i got this in the mail today didnt have a source on it so cant post it but ho hum:

Larry gets home late one night and his wife,
Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you Get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my schlong," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said,
Shaking her head in disdain.
"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred
dollar bill tattooed on his wang?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you
can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you like and i'll be happy to let you do it"

 

[leviathane]

idd nice joke, just a shame no aussie's drink tht piss.

 

[evzy]

Bitchface

Indeed, but observe Ezteq's joke, based in fact, reality and could be true...almost worth a rep but she admits she got it from someone else and isn't even attempting to pass it off as her own work - so I will wait til the author of it appears and claims credit and I shall rep them instead !!

 

[leviathane]

Ezteq's joke is still rep worthy imo

 

[evzy]

Ezteq's joke is still rep worthy imo

Only if she had passed it off as her own - what if the dude(ette) who told her it comes on the boards wanting their rep for it as well... can't rep 2 people for 1 joke - its the law of the rep*!



*Or so I think I read somewhere once whilst drunk and riding a 17 foot turtle.

 

[Everz]

i claim credit for that ezteq's joke

 

[evzy]

i claim credit for that ezteq's joke

Hmmm but can you prove it now...

I have seen the original manuscript (in a Davinci code esque quest type way I unearthed it)

To prove it and receive teh rep you must tell me the secret joke that was inscribed in ultraviolent ink on it ...and yes it was ultraviolent - it bit my ankle.

 

[Bahumat]

haha nice jokes

 

[Vladamir]

Ima gonna cut you up Evzy

 

[evzy]

Ima gonna cut you up Evzy

You mean when I am driving to work you are going to pull in front of my car at a distance that would not be considered safe?

Curses.

 

[Vladamir]

You mean when I am driving to work you are going to pull in front of my car at a distance that would not be considered safe?

Curses.

No

I'm gonna find you when you're sleeping and cut off all your bodyhair!.

 

[Pirkel]

No

I'm gonna find you when you're sleeping and cut off all your bodyhair!.

Oohh I loved it when you did that to me!

But but when you did that you said I was spesjial and now you're doing it to other people as well Vlad

 

[Vladamir]

Oohh I loved it when you did that to me!

But but when you did that you said I was spesjial and now you're doing it to other people as well Vlad

I'll still use my teeth and tongue for you though. Random noobs get sciss0rs

 

[evzy]

No

I'm gonna find you when you're sleeping and cut off all your bodyhair!.

Pffft I bathe in Immac to avoid such stalker hair theft type situations !!!

Muhahahahahaha !!

~whispers at Pirkel~

muhahahaha teh Vlad wants teh piece of teh Evzy now!!

~realises this is actually quite worrying~

Erm...so anyway... I will get my coat !

 

[evzy]

I'll still use my teeth and tongue for you though. Random noobs get sciss0rs

Oi I might be Random and I might be a no0b but I am not a Random noob !!!

Will stick some hair on ebay for ya to bid on - save a journey to mine...

 

[Thadius]

An Australian guy is traveling around the Greek Islands .

He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian Barmaid.

As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent. Over the
course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he
asks if she wants to come back to his place.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him.

As she is traveling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia . - " Melbourne ", he tells her.

"So am I. What suburb?" she enquires. "Glen Iris" he replies.

"That's amazing........." she says excitedly, "..........so am I - what street?" " Cameo Street " he replies.

"This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering. "What number?" "Number 20", he replies.

She is totally astonished.

"You are NOT going to believe this........", she screams, "but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"


HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN, THINKS AUSTRALIAN

Fucking lol:worthy: