Forgive and forget?

[Dukat]

Hey!

Ok, first post in a while that isn't about bacon or the size of various peices of cheese, so bare with me if I struggle!

So I've got this mate (No, I really do, this isn't about me ) who has recently had a crash due to drink-driving. There are a few more points to the incident but I'm not sure I should really go into it here but suffice to say that if he had've just crashed, that would've been bad, but what actually happened was worse - not that he really hurt anyone, besides himself (sorry if that's vague sounding).

He's been in hospital for the past few days and so I've not had to really speak to him at all, which is probably for the best, because I've been in two minds about how to react to it all - if I saw him at the moment I'd probably say I'm glad he's ok(and honestly mean it), then knock him out

So I guess I just dont know what to think. Most of my other mates have said "Yeah, hes a bit of a twat" and then seem to have almost forgotten about it and seem to be set to welcome him back with open arms.

Me, I don't know if I can do that with a clear conscience. He's always been 'the joker' of the group, normally being the first one to do the irresponsible thing and messing about etc, but this time its too much. He could have easily killed someone. I'm pretty certain this isn't even the first time he's done it, so what's to say he won't do it again at somepoint?

Granted, the experience could well have taught him a lesson, and everyone's entitled to mistakes, but this to me points to an extreme lack of judgement, he's acted in such a way as to point to a near-complete absense of integrity that has kind of underlined every other stupid prank he's pulled up to now.


Anyway, to the point - He's due out of hospital very soon now, and I'm just not sure exactly what to think. I'd like to think I'm a fairly good person in terms of forgiving people and just getting on with things, but this time I'm just not sure if I should, or if I even want to.

How exactly do you react to this sort of thing? I guess I'm just interested to know what people think

 

[Syri]

I think personally, I'd see what his reaction is to what he's done. Approach him and say how you think it was a pretty dumb thing to do, and bet he won't be doing that again. If he's sincere in not doing so, and seems to have learned, then see how it goes from there.
If he's not got any regrets and thinks even after that it was "cool", and would do it again if given the chance, then I'd say that'd be the point I'd walk away.

 

[gohan]

i suppose it really depends on the "other" things that happened, drink driving in itself is stupid an ive had a mate thats doen it a few times and i always have ago at him about it, but he's never been in an accident (and when i say drink driving i don't mean plastered i mean maybe double the limit)


if no1 was hurt then its the same princable as how you would react to some1 drink driving, regardless of the accedent, still comes down to could of killed some1, but i didn't, but you could'v ect ect


obviously depending on the other bad stuff that happened depends on how you shoudl react, im assuming the him drink drivng isn't the main thing thats bothering you

 

[Mey]

I hope they take his driving licence, no save, I have no time for drink drivers.

 

[gohan]

I hope they take his driving licence, no save, I have no time for drink drivers.

theirs no if or maybe, he will get a minimum of 12 month ban + court fee's

 

[Mey]

Depands if the police got involved.

 

[CorNokZ]

I'd tell him that he fucked up big time and then get on with it

 

[ST^]

Would probably depend on how sorry he is. Drink driving is seriously fucking selfish though. People can risk their own lives but risking others is just not on.

 

[Sparx]

its easy to be tempted to drive when drunk, i presonally set myself in stone that i wont touch my keys after 1 drink sober or not, and sticking to that commandment worked thus far

 

[old.Tohtori]

Drink driving is bad, but it's understandabe since you're...well...drunk!

We've all been in the situation where we do stupid things/people while drunk.

If he knows he f*cked up, be a friend.
If he thinks he did nothing wrong, decide.

Personally i've had friends of mine drive drunk and i have thought nothing of it since nothing happened, and i will ALWAYS let it go if they know they f*cked up.

I'm all for circumstances, if it's ok in your mind, let it go.

Also i think drink-driving is ok unless you hurt someone.

If shit doesn't happen, it doesn't. No point in "what if?".

 

[Sparx]

Toh be careful mate you may get attacked for that comment

 

[CorNokZ]

Drink driving is bad, but it's understandabe since you're...well...drunk!

We've all been in the situation where we do stupid things/people while drunk.

If he knows he f*cked up, be a friend.
If he thinks he did nothing wrong, decide.

Personally i've had friends of mine drive drunk and i have thought nothing of it since nothing happened, and i will ALWAYS let it go if they know they f*cked up.

I'm all for circumstances, if it's ok in your mind, let it go.

Also i think drink-driving is ok unless you hurt someone.

If shit doesn't happen, it doesn't. No point in "what if?".

 

[Garaen]

Everyone makes mistakes. You're not his Dad so tell him he's an idiot and move on with it. If you truely are his friend this would have been a natural reaction imo, if you are finding it difficult to be around him just cut your ties and leave him alone.

At the end of the day he'll still drink drive if he wants to but hopefully he'll have learnt his lesson (and be thankful no one was hurt in the process), but if he does it again lets hope he kills himself rather than risk anyone else's life.

 

[soze]

Drink driving is bad, but it's understandabe since you're...well...drunk!

We've all been in the situation where we do stupid things/people while drunk.

If he knows he f*cked up, be a friend.
If he thinks he did nothing wrong, decide.

Personally i've had friends of mine drive drunk and i have thought nothing of it since nothing happened, and i will ALWAYS let it go if they know they f*cked up.

I'm all for circumstances, if it's ok in your mind, let it go.

Also i think drink-driving is ok unless you hurt someone.

If shit doesn't happen, it doesn't. No point in "what if?".

That has to be an attempt to start a fight you can't really believe that?

 

[Garaen]

Tohtori is more than likely mentally handicapped and finds it difficult to rationalise morality and social responsibility. Just ignore it.

 

[Corran]

tbh, most people have driven over the limit.. most people i have known gone on a drinking session and driven the next morning when they would still be a fair bit over the limit. Most people forget about that though and do it.. then complain when they get done for it.

Without knowing the circumstances we cant actually say much about it. So comes down to your personal view as we cant judge someone on a small part of the story.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Toh be careful mate you may get attacked for that comment

Quite aware of that, but it's not MY problem if people attack it.

That has to be an attempt to start a fight you can't really believe that?

Why not? I believe drunk driving is ok if you don't hurt anyone. No harm is no harm, that is quite clear.

Tohtori is more than likely mentally handicapped and finds it difficult to rationalise morality and social responsibility. Just ignore it.

I'm not handicappoed, i just don't judge so easily.

Bottom line;

If people don't hurt anyone else, go for it, no matter what.

 

[Aoami]

me and megadave were in a car crash today it was great

 

[Garaen]

If drinking didn't dramatically increase the chance of causing accident or injury I would agree. Driving sober is a dangerous activity, deliberately impairing yourself during an activity which could kill others is morally wrong and highly stupid.

I suggest you look at the scene of a drink driving accident and see innocent women and children smeared across the road before you suggest it's fine because so far you or your friends havn't killed anyone. I would wager your attitude would change then.

Not drinking and driving is a preventative measure in order to stop death or injury of innocent people, not an ad-hoc responsive measure when someone eventually hurts (read: maims or kills) someone else through impaired driving due to alcohol.

 

[Marc]

Drink driving is bad, but it's understandabe since you're...well...drunk!

We've all been in the situation where we do stupid things/people while drunk.

If he knows he f*cked up, be a friend.
If he thinks he did nothing wrong, decide.

Personally i've had friends of mine drive drunk and i have thought nothing of it since nothing happened, and i will ALWAYS let it go if they know they f*cked up.

I'm all for circumstances, if it's ok in your mind, let it go.

Also i think drink-driving is ok unless you hurt someone.

If shit doesn't happen, it doesn't. No point in "what if?".

Your a fckin idiot

 

[old.Tohtori]

Ofcourse drinking and driving increases the risk, but still, if nothing happens, nothing happens.

If you think it's just the possibility, then well...i guess hitler was just a victim of the causality

 

[soze]

Why not? I believe drunk driving is ok if you don't hurt anyone. No harm is no harm, that is quite clear.

Bottom line;

If people don't hurt anyone else, go for it, no matter what.

Because its the equivalent of saying its ok to play Russian Roulette with 5 babies as long as one does not die. Its stupid and it shows a total lack of respect for human life. The evidence that drink driving cost lives is beyond denial and it would take a truly selfish person to think that risk is worth taking to save cab fare.

I am going to believe you are flame baiting and ignore your replies as i would like to think you are smarter than this.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Because its the equivalent of saying its ok to play Russian Roulette with 5 babies as long as one does not die. Its stupid and it shows a total lack of respect for human life.

In this world?

Yes, i have a total lack of respect for human life.

If there was a reason to play that russian roulette, i would be ok with it.

You can believe all you want, i don't care, that's my opinion.

 

[Soazak]

I am going to believe you are flame baiting and ignore your replies as i would like to think you are smarter than this.

It must be flame bait, even on the INTERNETZ LOL people genuinly can't believe drink driving is ok as long as no one dies...I wonder what other crimes you could justify with that reasoning

 

[Ch3tan]

I know lots of people that do drink drive, the problem is that they will not see it as a problem until something happens and they have bad judgement when drunk.

All you can do is let your friend know that you are having trouble accepting their actions, and that you will not stand by them should they do it again.

 

[ST^]

Hay guyz if I take an automatic weapon to a busy public park and spray bullets around, and by some miracle nobody gets hit, it's fine! No harm done! wooo

 

[Garaen]

Are you under 16 Tohtori? I'm guessing yes as that is the only explanation for your frankly limited understanding of morality and social responsibility. Ask some school friends or maybe a teacher to explain to you why drinking and driving is a bad thing to do.

 

[Ingafgrinn Macabre]

In my book they should give anyone sitting behind the wheel while drunk a legal sentence similar to attempted murder. If you step behind the wheel while drunk, you're using an object that's more lethal than a gun, and just fireing it randomly at people.

Being drunk is absolutely no excuse for something like this. Risk your own life while drunk? Be my guest, your life, your decision. But don't go playing with Jack and Jill and their 2.4 children's life.

If it were a friend of mine, I'd tell him to get his fucking act together, and walk away.

 

[Jeros]

Drink driving should be a lifetime ban

 

[old.Tohtori]

Honestly, i just don't give a f*ck unless you do something.

If you judge me by that, fine.

And if people haven't STILL figured it out; i have no morality, no feelings and NO sense of remorse unless something happens.

It's me, deal with it, i'm still the guy who can pick up a dead 4 year old with no problems where rest of you couldn't. This world needs people like me!
You know it's true.