Rant For better or for worse...

[russell]

Just had big row with Mr Russell. V sad now and teary but Rahhhhhhhhhhh angry too...
Quite a rare occurance for us really. But bad tonight -spare room job.
Can rows ever be good?
Whats normal? (for my sake just pretend you are normal)

 

[Deebs]

Rows are always good only if for the making up sex afterwards.

 

[sayward]

Depends on how long you've been married. Less time less rows. It'll pass whatever it is. Not sure what a fluffle is, but it looks like a 'cheer up' sort of thing.

 

[russell]

Depends on how long you've been married. Less time less rows. It'll pass whatever it is. Not sure what a fluffle is, but it looks like a 'cheer up' sort of thing.

Aww thank you missy x

 

[ECA]

If you were a guy posting here, the first thing I'd say would be

"pics".

So "pics". ( nothing naked pls, dont want to see peen, just saying this so yoni cant say we're misogynists.

Next thing, you're both being silly/cabin fever, go out for dinner blahblah remember why you're together/blahblah/blahblah jesus.



At least your not as bad at the mopey uys around here *looks in someones direction*.

 

[russell]

If you were a guy posting here, the first thing I'd say would be

"pics".

So "pics". ( nothing naked pls, dont want to see peen, just saying this so yoni cant say we're misogynists.

Next thing, you're both being silly/cabin fever, go out for dinner blahblah remember why you're together/blahblah/blahblah jesus.



At least your not as bad at the mopey uys around here *looks in someones direction*.

someone who?
Like the blahblah jesus- Made me chuckle -you are right x

 

[TdC]

(for my sake just pretend you are normal)

ha. hahaha. ahem.

 

[Kryten]

If there was a couple that didn't row, they'd be in a distinct minority

Have a fair big one around once a month, mostly related to a certain time of the month, but with the baby on route it's more common with hormones flying around like no-ones business.

And there's rarely a better feeling than making up afterwards

 

[old.Tohtori]

The biggest rows(really? rows? Cool.) people have are about stupid sh*t.

Socks, toilet seats, forgetting to buy milk and then it escalades due to:

Woman taking the issue to a whole new level.
Man thinking it's not that big a deal.
Both getting angrier and angrier.
Neither discussing and wanting to be right.

Take a moment to think like the other and the fight is over in a nanosecond.

Anyhoo, as long as you fight you care.

 

[Calaen]

Having fall outs is perfectly normal, what is not normal is when you feel you have to constantly apologise for stuff that is irrelevant. If you have to start explaining everything you said during a argument/discussion you are on a slippery slope.

Go out and have a bottle of when each and chill out

 

[tris-]

tell him to stop being a n00b.

 

[Chilly]

better than not rowing and saving up all the anger!

 

[dysfunction]

If there was a couple that didn't row, they'd be in a distinct minority

I'm in that minority...

Don't get me wrong sometimes things can be a bit irritating at times with the GF but quite often we'll just chat and have a laugh about it within minutes of being irritated.

We have never had a proper row with yelling or anything like that and its been 2 1/2 years or so.

We talk all the time about stuff so I guess we don't let any tension build up at all so it never gets out of hand...

 

[mycenae]

I'm also in that minority, vae and I have never had a proper row either.....but thats possibly because I am a champion sulker!
Don't worry Russell....I'm sure it'll all come out in the wash......and if you need something else to cheer you up, then how about this?

'Women always have the last say in an argument. If a man says something after this, then its the start of a new argument!'

 

[sayward]

Hope it's all ok again with Mr. Russell?

 

[old.user4556]

Just had big row with Mr Russell. V sad now and teary but Rahhhhhhhhhhh angry too...
Quite a rare occurance for us really. But bad tonight -spare room job.
Can rows ever be good?
Whats normal? (for my sake just pretend you are normal)

Interesting to see a relationship thread that I never started .

I think arguing or disagreeing is a necessary and normal dynamic to any relationship: family, lovers, colleagues and strangers. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and values which will surely collide at some stage. What's important is backing down and compromising, fighting fair and sometimes just saying sorry. As Dysfunction said, he doesn't really fight but he communicates - I think that regular and open communication can help prevent or smooth over potential arguments.

The important part (this is all my own opinion) is to ascertain what you're really arguing about. If something is wrong in the relationship (such as, no sex) then the resentment builds up to a point where the smallest things can cause arguments: who left the toilet seat up, who left the dirty dishes lying in the kitchen etc. This leads to people accusing the other of overreacting, but the real issue is actually not discussed or hammered out in a fair fashion (which is the lack of sex). Instead, constant petty arguments spin out of control and it strips and chips away at the relationship until you're sick of the sight of each other. They call them "invisible arguments" in the relationship world.

For example; I was getting annoyed at my missus for spending most Saturday's in bed until about 1pm or 2pm every weekend, and it was annoying me that she wanted to waste the weekend this way. Then during the week, during rush hour traffic, she insisted that we went a 45 minute roundtrip after a hectic day at work to the tanning salon so that she could top her tan up; I blew up at her, got quite angry over what seemed like something trivial - she wasn't sure where it came from or why I overreacted. When I regained my cool, I sat down and explained that she could be doing these things at the weekend, but she chose to waste the whole of her weekend lying in bed, and instead saved it all up and wanted to do it during my time, or inappropriate times when we were both stressed after work and were just wanting to get home asap.

She hasn't slept in late since.

So Russell, without knowing any details, I hope this might help.

 

[Dukat]

Aww Russell, Hope its all ok now..

Like the others said, I would think most people in long term relationships have rows, I know my parents do.

Probably the less often you have them the bigger they are, probably its good to clear the air occassionally and let the both of you know where you stand, and again, as the others suggested, after you've cooled off a bit it might be good to go out and have a good time together and remember why it is you're together

Since my current partner's name ends in .jpg we dont often have rows - I would say that I think I am in a minority in this case, but... well... *looks around at intarnets people*

On a more serious note though, I do hope its all going ok, nothing worse than an argument when its happening, although perhaps sometimes things are better for it afterwards.

 

[DaGaffer]

I was in a relationship for 13 years, hardly ever had a row. Then I got divorced. Read in to that what you will, but personally I think the odd row is healthy.

 

[dysfunction]

I dont think its the row thats healthy its the fact that you have actually spoken to the person about whats causing tension....thats the healthy part...its just so happens to be at a high volume!

 

[Lazarus]

going though one now - has lasted for 3 weeks so far

 

[old.Tohtori]

going though one now - has lasted for 3 weeks so far

If you don't mind me asking, i'll ask anyway, what's it about? generally? Always interested to know what the hell do people fight about for so long.

Toilet seat? Right? It's the f*cking toilet seat!

 

[dysfunction]

I can't grasp how its possible to be arguing about something for 3 weeks!
Surely it can't be that bad? Unless of course you cheated on her or vice versa...then I could undertsand a real fight lasting a long time...

 

[Lazarus]

well, not so much an arguement, more that she was ready to walk 3 weeks ago, been pulling it back from the brink since then

 

[Scouse]

well, not so much an arguement, more that she was ready to walk 3 weeks ago, been pulling it back from the brink since then

Don't do it at cost to yourself m8. I've been through a longer-term similar situation and it's just not worth it. You can only try for so long - just keep in mind that both of you should be making compromises...

 

[Lazarus]

yup, thats very true Scouse.

we are both working at it. feeling better about myself now too.

 

[old.Tohtori]

well, not so much an arguement, more that she was ready to walk 3 weeks ago, been pulling it back from the brink since then

Ah that's a bit different from your basic fight.

You see, basic fights are about "braking up"(very general), where your current fight is about "staying together".

If you catch my drift.

Wore part is, noone can offer advice and you can't really take any on that issue. Those are the fights that "go as go". But, good luck in either case.