First time in a titty bar

[old.user4556]

I must admit, it was a new experience to me, but I went to a Titty Bar tonight with mates from work in Edinburgh.

"YES, loads of slutty tits to look at and get flapped in my face for a small fee!" - I was quite excited about the idea of it.

What a fucking overrated let down.

The birds weren't that good looking, although they did have boobies and bodies to die for. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was it was full of the sadest looking men i've ever seen in my whole life: 50+ year old men with dribble hanging out the side of their mouths that had nowhere else to go but a seedy titty bar. I didn't hang about.

Maybe I went to the wrong place? Maybe there are classy places? Maybe Amsterdam is the place to go for such things?

 

[throdgrain]

Big G.




















Thats you that is.

 

[old.user4556]

EXACTLY, I WAS those men!!!

I'm only 25 fs, they were at least double my age.

 

[nath]

I've always thought a skin joint would be a total waste of time. Though that could be because I've seen so much porn that unless it's girls copulating with extremely rare breeds of zebra, it'd do nowt for me.

 

[Chilly]

extreme mega hardcore double porn.

 

[Tom]

Been to a few over the years, none in this country though. Best one was a place in Indianapolis, fantastic looking ladies with the goods on display, usually silicone enhanced. I only ever visit them after I've donned my beer goggles though.

Totally agree about the sad men bit, it was like a cattle market for sheepwhores. My mate had the whole 'rub tits in face' bit, personally I was too embarrassed and told her no! There was a lurvely black lady in there who I kept staring at, mmmm black ladies......

 

[DaGaffer]

They're HUGELY overrated. Yes you do get some that are much better *ahem* quality than others (your Spearmint Rhinos/Stingfellows for instance), but you usually come out of there thinking "fuck, I've just spent a small fortune to get sexually frustrated, well done you".

And no, Amsterdam isn't really much better; I mean, its far more explicit (live sex shows etc.) but the effect is the same; I guess I'm not one of life's voyeurs.

The only one that was a real eye-opener was one of the first I ever went to when I was a student. It was in Tijuana, Mexico, and we're sat there watching the lap dancers when the other girls crowd around and basically stuck their hands down our pants. I've got to admit, I bottled it and 'made my excuses'.

 

[Wij]

Hate the places. Make me feel such a desperate saddo.


I'M NOT !!!!!!!


In fact the blokes who actually want to go that I know aren't that sad. Why do they go ?

 

[PLightstar]

Reason why most men do things, to see breasts.

 

[Wij]

I have the intarweb (and the wife).

 

[DaGaffer]

In fact the blokes who actually want to go that I know aren't that sad. Why do they go ?

I think its a male bonding thing, a lot of the times I've been its been either a big gang of lads at the end of a working day (so not really dressed for clubbing), or a stag night. I've also been known to use lapdancing clubs for staff morale purposes (as some of the ex-GAME lads will attest ); its expensive, but cheaper than a pay rise

 

[babs]

Reason why most men do things, to see breasts.

I can just look down

 

[Mobius]

I've never been, but I don't see the appeal really. Can you touch, or does a bouncer knock the shit out of you if you do? Isn't it a bit weird sitting there with an erection, next to a bunch of strangers also with erections? I can't see the point if you can't have a wank whilst staring at the breasts. I reckon a prostitute would be better.

Is it true that they give you "clean" money in exchange for your own money to put in there knickers etc?

 

[SAS]

I've only been to one, Temptations here in Plymouth. Girls were pretty sub standard. You'd walk in and sit on a comfy seat and a group of girls would come over and attempt to make small talk with you. After a few drinks you're off for a lap dance and the night goes from there.

Was a tenner a dance for 2 minutes, with a lesbian special going for 40 quid where two young naked young ladies would sit in your lap and you can guess the rest. Ideal birthday present .

That was going on 3 years ago, now the club has moved to a bigger venue. Prices have doubled and I've heard the girls have side bets amongst themselves on attempts to make guys cream in their pants :/.

Worth going to a lap dancing club at least once. One of those "things to do" before you die sort of thing .

 

[Formash]

I The problem was it was full of the sadest looking men i've ever seen in my whole life: 50+ year old men with dribble hanging out the side of their mouths that had nowhere else to go but a seedy titty bar.

Look on the bright side.. at least the dancing laydeez weren't 50+ year olds as well....

 

[old.user4556]

Isn't it a bit weird sitting there with an erection, next to a bunch of strangers also with erections?

My disturbing thoughts exactly.

Seemed so pointless because you couldn't touch - what would have been appealing is a £10 dance with the option of upgrading to a shag for £xxx to relieve an aching hardon.

 

[tris-]

i went to a lap dance place before called Secrets.
was pretty good, she rubbed her flange on my leg and i could still smell it later on.

 

[Calaen]

i went to a lap dance place before called Secrets.
was pretty good, she rubbed her flange on my leg and i could still smell it later on.

Should I be worried that I am in your SIg if not I will follow you ;-)

 

[DaGaffer]

i went to a lap dance place before called Secrets.
was pretty good, she rubbed her flange on my leg and i could still smell it later on.

The one in Hammersmith? I actually know two guys who've pulled in there. One is getting married to the girl he pulled soon...

 

[Jupitus]

The one in Hammersmith? I actually know two guys who've pulled in there. One is getting married to the girl he pulled soon...

Does he know his fiancee's snatchmusk is still on tris's trousers, hung on his wall?

 

[tris-]

nah it wasnt at hammersmith, im up in middlesbrough you southern ponce.

but yeh, i did try to savour it by rubbing my hand on the area and didnt wash it till i woke up the next morning.

 

[PLightstar]

but yeh, i did try to savour it by rubbing my hand on the area and didnt wash it till i woke up the next morning.

 

[tris-]

what? i thought that was the whole reason to go to these places

 

[MYstIC G]

Hate the places. Make me feel such a desperate saddo.


I'M NOT !!!!!!!

YOUR ARE TOO!!!!!!!

 

[Guest]

Theres a brothel round the corner from my local lapdancing bar (i have never been but aparently the birds are well ugly, but you would shag anything after seeing the tits in the lapdancing club)

 

[xane]

Is it true that they give you "clean" money in exchange for your own money to put in there knickers etc?

Perhaps, but when one of them wiggles her ass crack at you, don't try and swipe your switch card and expect cashback.

 

[`mongoose]

I've never been to one - or to a lapdancing club either

I can't see myself going in the near future either. I am sure the girls are lovely and are happy (ish) to be doing the job but I don't think I'd feel comfortable watching it.

I'd also feel like I was betraying my wife, I don't know why - it's wierd but I just wouldn't feel right going to one.


M

 

[tris-]

you dont have to smell her flange juice after, just simply ignore it.

 

[Conchabar]

rofl, desperate noobs!! ahahaha now that just made my day

 

[old.user4556]

Who is a desperate noob?