Damini
Part of the furniture
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 2,234
CROW: something or other, with Tara Reid, Edward Furlong, and David Borneaz. Legend has it, that sometimes, when an actors career dies, or when a film franchise finishes its natural run, a crow digs the corpse out of the ground with its beak, and for some reason best left unexplored, reanimates the atrophying body with a pale mimicry of life. Good heavens, this was a bad film, but is one of those rare creatures that is so bad that it is almost highly enjoyable. So that's what happened to Tank from the Matrix! So this is what David Borneaz is doing now he's no longer playing angel! So that's how Tara finances her raging cocaine addiction! Edward Furlong, when transformed into the Crow, somehow managed to skip straight past the tortured look of a man from the grave, and managed to morph into a disgruntled lesbian. Specifically, Shane from the L Word. It's quite magical. Look out for a magnificent cameo from Dennis "They took away my medication" Hopper playing a hip gangstsa pimp daddy. Wonder at Tara Reid's vast array of facial expressions that simulteneously convey "Is what we are doing wrong?", "I think something just burst in my brain", and "I don't know what I am doing here". Gasp at a script so chunky that they are using parts of it as bricks to rebuild homes after the Tsunami. Sheer genius.
Ladder 49 - It has fire. And men's men. And testosterone induced bouts of bonding. It is also told entirely in bile inducing flashback, and has a scene at the end of the film that I shan't spoil, just in case some of you like dull, cheesy, cliched bilge designed purely for an american market, but should you get to the final scene and have also seen Baseketball, then try this. Watch, and think back on the bit in Baseketball where he's driving along, and an obscenely relevent song comes on the radio. And then try not to giggle. And then realise you paid money to rent it, and cry a little inside.
Ladder 49 - It has fire. And men's men. And testosterone induced bouts of bonding. It is also told entirely in bile inducing flashback, and has a scene at the end of the film that I shan't spoil, just in case some of you like dull, cheesy, cliched bilge designed purely for an american market, but should you get to the final scene and have also seen Baseketball, then try this. Watch, and think back on the bit in Baseketball where he's driving along, and an obscenely relevent song comes on the radio. And then try not to giggle. And then realise you paid money to rent it, and cry a little inside.
