I told Jup last night that I am shit at writing stories, drawing and silly little speech bubble things. I do really want to enter though. So you have left me no choice...
It was a warm summers day, the sun hung in the bright blue sky and all was well in the world. Geoff the Giant was just heading back home after a pub lunch when he was assaulted by an evil Orc named Ollie!!!!!! They had a dead big fight next to a tree. (See Below - contains nudity)
Geoff became bored very quickly and killed Ollie.. The End..
Well not exactly Geoff the Giant discovered that Ollie had left behind a dog and two children and they would probably starve to death. Geoff being a nice kinda guy took them in and they all lived happily ever after.
Not sure if this is the right way to do it, if it is not, just message me with instructions
Seeing as I am now rubbish at drawing and unlikely to win the caption contest, I thought my 12 hour shift tonight could be spent writing a story I'm not any good but I haven't written for a long time, I'm no Steven King or grand writer, so read it see what you think
You have to excuse me if the grammar aint the best, but this isn't my favorite language to write stories in.
Byron was standing in the shadows of a large tree and overlooked battle that was about to begin further down the valley, it was early in the morning and there was a layer of thick mist close to the ground making all sounds dimmer.
The Empire forces were deployed around the abandoned village they had been using as their base since the trouble in this part of the land began. He could see a Dwarven cannon crew bustling about one of their machines on the far left of the encampment and at the southern gates he could see cavalry forces readying their horses for battle. At the North wall soldiers were up on the ramparts and most of them were readying their bows.
He had travelled true that very same village just a couple of days before on his way north to Praag. He had travelled for tree days when he came upon the chaos forces heading south. Byron had killed two scouts that had been moving ahead of the main force, and he was still nursing a few bruises and scratches they had given him. It still irritated him how those scouts had been able to surprise him! “That would not have happened a few years ago!” He was getting to old…
Last time he travelled true the camp there had been about 500 soldiers there, the dwarfs had must have arrived since he left. There had also been a company of knights of the sun, but he could not see them from where he was overseeing the village.
Byron had done a bit of scouting himself since he came upon the chaos host and he estimated them to be about 2000 strong, manly marauders and orcs there was only one Champion of Tzeentch as far as he had been able to see. There had been a Magus with them from the start but Byron had taken care of her the second night he had been stalking them, and been amused to listen to the uproar that had caused in their camp.
Byron sat down on his knees and began check his gear, his two pistol holsters were a little damp but the pistols inside were dry and ready for use. He then checked his sword and daggers and readied them for use.
He touched his Sigmar insignia and told a silent prayer, and then he was moving away fast true the shadowy forest…
I wrote a short story, and hopefully you guys will find it amusing. And i also secretly planted a LoTR quote in it, try to find it
This is the journal of a hero!
Log entry 1. "My name is Hameil Stuffhammerer. Today begins my journey towards glory! My hammer is eager to smash the heads of the filthy greenskins. One of the bastards killed my father, but ill revenge him - I just have to find the green one of 'em."
Log entry 17. "Death, yes death to all of 'em! I've killed many critters on my way, easy prey! And the filthy greenskins will feel my wrath."
Log entry 31. "I'm close to Karak Eight Peaks, under the orders of High King Thorgrim Grudgebearer, i'm to retake it and restore it to its former glory. I alone must do this, if i do not find a way, noone will! I've run out of food, and have no water. My goal is near, yet it feels so far away... I must arrive at Karak Eight Peaks still with the strenght to fight an army of Greenskins, an army only known as the Bloody Sun Boyz."
Log entry 37. "I've arrived at Eight Peaks, but the hunger has made me weak. My hammer is heavy and so is my armor, if i'm to fight it must be without the armor!"
Log entry 38. "I've removed my armor, and are ready for combat! I shall dominate the battlefield! TIME TO DIE, GREENSKINS!"
The mighty Hameil Stuffhammerer ran towards the gates of Karak Eight Peaks, with his hammer swinging wildly and screaming "Death to the greenskins", he was ofcouse immediately shot down and killed by a Goblin Squid Herder - Such is the price for heroism!
Here's my entry! It was actually chosen by Mythic as one of the featured fan fiction stories in the April 2007 newsletter. Below a snippet:
"I study the naked thrall intently as she lies motionless on the altar. The ritual tonight must be perfect, for tomorrow I leave to join the great Tzeentch warhird marching for Altdorf. The thrall, a priestess of the fake god Shallya, has been carefully prepared for tonight ever since I enslaved her on the raid three months ago. I re-examine the symbols and lines I have drawn on her body with the blood of a beastman. The uninformed believe them to be symbols of power, and some are, but in fact they are mostly a guide for the ritual to come."
Sigh, nevermind, unless you provide a non-paypal option for subscription, I can't do it. I cannot validate my credit card with paypal, because the 4 numbers I need for the validation process get lost in the transaction. Oh well.