Family problems (advice needed!)

[Bugz]

Right. Situation first.

My gf has a fucked up family. Her sister is a single mum with a two year old kid. Her dad obviously loves his granson and this has lead to the single mum sleeping round on numerous occasions. The problem with this is, a) she has her own accomodation, she should be there, b) shes a shit mum and her kid has not learnt behaviour and is a general pain in the nuisance, c) she doesn't look after the little shit, my gf does and shes only 16, she shouldn't be doing such a thing and d) my gf ends up sleeping on the sofa and because of her big chest, she gets quite painful back problems.

Ok. Now, i'm very fucked off with this. I met up with my gf y'day, we went back to her dad's and proceeded to chill out, watch a movie etc. Then her sister rings askin for some money for her electric meter. No probs we thought. Then we give her it and she decides to stay for the night. The result was her little shit-monster-fuck-face running about and being a total nuisance and her mum doing sweet fuck all in the living room.

This has got to stop because personally I don't like the way my gf is being treated in this scenario. She can ofcourse stay at her mums house but that isn't her home, her dads house is. And even if she stayed there for a while, her things could get trashed (we all know what babies are like n so on).

Her sister is complete scum and needs a good kick in the face but unfortunately I doubt that option will occur.

So, any advice on what my gf can do? Should I intervene?

 

[tris-]

as you are only a bf/gf, not life long partners with a marriage or a home, im not sure why it would be any of your business.

 

[Bugz]

as you are only a bf/gf, not life long partners with a marriage or a home, im not sure why it would be any of your business.

I am aware of that.

Hence why I asked on opinions on what my gf should do.

But I'm not sure how long I can sit back and watch it all. A gf may only be a gf but i do love her dearly.

 

[Jeremiah]

I would say the only thing you can do is spend more time at your place.

You've no business getting involved, unless you are asked to and even then I wouldnt do something in fear of the father (If you are a good boyfriend, you should have this fear ) The only time you are allowed to get involved is when you become part of the family... and it doesnt seem worth getting married so you can shout at her sister. Just spend as least time as you both can at her place...

 

[Vladamir]

Don't do anything, you will get pwned hard

 

[Dakkath]

From my point of view, I'd say that you need to have a quiet chat with your GF when the pair of you are alone.

Don't approach this with the typical bloke 'you're sister's scum' & 'meteor' attitude though, that'll only cause undue agro and don't let it become a heated discussion. Nothing causes an argument faster than insulting a partners family :/

Just tell her you're worried about her and the way you think she's being treated. Ask if she's ok with what's going on and if there's anything you can do to help.

If she turns around and says she has no problem with it, then I'm afraid you'll have to 'bite your tongue' and deal with it...

 

[Yeke]

Since in your post you didnt mention whether or not your g/f has a problem with it or not I'm assuming its your problem so basically what others said if you go to your g/f calling her sister scum etc you'll be an ex faster than you know.

If your g/f really had a problem with it surley she would have done something herself by now, maybe go out more spend time with freinds etc rather than sitting at her place.

If none of that works and you cant live with the situation then say nothing and move on tbh better too leave on good terms than start ww3 and end up getting dumped (trust me you will lose too family every single time).

 

[DocWolfe]

she sounds like a chav dump her immediately

 

[Bahumat]

Cant you just mezz the little kid?

 

[Lethul]

she sounds like a chav dump her immediately

qft

 

[Congax]

Don't do anything, you will get pwned hard

Vlad speaks the truth I'm afraid. Family business is family only. I doubt you'd like it if some random mongo p) bargains into your familiy going like: "Right, wtf, get the kid outta here cause he's an annoying prick."

I'm guessing your gf doesn't like the situation either, but she's a teenage girl, and teenage girls are well known for being just a tad bit oversensitive at moments.

At that age, familiy is more important then some teenage love.

From my point of view, I'd say that you need to have a quiet chat with your GF when the pair of you are alone.

Don't approach this with the typical bloke 'you're sister's scum' & 'meteor' attitude though, that'll only cause undue agro and don't let it become a heated discussion. Nothing causes an argument faster than insulting a partners family

That's the thing to do imo

 

[Jeremiah]

she sounds like a chav dump her immediately

:worthy:

 

[Sparx]

like folks have said nowt much you can do mate till she asks for help, even then all you should really do is try to spend time at other places where the sister cant reach you, never get involved in a big way even when asked you will still lose

Also another thing terrible two's are called terrible two's for a reason. My nephew was awful at 2 he is an angel now tho and my sister was a single mum too.

So the verdict stay out of it and support you gf when she wants to have a moan, she will have a bitch and moan to you cause you are her best mate but dont use that knowledge just bottle it and keep quiet

 

[old.Tohtori]

Funny...i'm not english...even remotely...and don't know first thing about chavs...and even I felt she was a bit chavvy

But seriously, until she's 18, you do like you do with her vagina.

No i don't mean f*ck it 6 ways from sunday...

 

[evzy]

Aye if your g/f is pissed the best you can do is agree with her - otherwise stay well out of it - the thing is family ties will always be stronger than yours and ya g/friends - if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time you could be looking at a pissed of g/friend.

stay out of it if possible, spend more time at yours, go out more, maybe even try spending some time around at your g/friends sisters - kinda force her into her own house - maybe she is just lonely being a single mum with a kid etc, try and look at it from her point of view?



Otherwise if you have a problem and no-one (FH included) can solve it - have you thought about calling in the A-Team?

 

[Sparx]

good point ev her sister may be lonely i remember when i went on leave from the army to my sister she was so happy to have company

Maybe try looking at a different perspective try let her sister do more show her happiness, knowing you belong somewhere and got someone to talk to helps so much with even the hardest of problems in life

 

[Bugz]

she sounds like a chav dump her immediately

And you got that from where?

Keep silly comments out of this thrad please.

 

[Vladamir]

And you got that from where?

Keep silly comments out of this thrad please.

Because she has a single mother sister?

And as you said a fucked up family

 

[Chronictank]

could just offer to let her crash round yours every now and again, tell your mum about the situation she is in and i doubt she will object

 

[liloe]

Hm, I'm a bit late, but maybe talk to the sister alone. She might feel assaulted if your g/f and you both talk to her at the same time, but maybe if you talk to her 1on1 it's easier. Try telling her that you think her kid should behave a bit more, but don't make it look too much aggro. After all that's the part you feel bad about.

But before talking about your g/f in that matter, talk to her first and ask her what she thinks of the whole thing. If she agrees with you, well, other ppl said a lot on that subject already with which I can agree =)