Falling in love with my best m8's x.. :/

[CorNokZ]

Well my best m8 had this amazing gf called Steffani, but they broke up like 6months ago, but they kept seeing eachother on a regular basis as they are very good friends..

I've always been able to talk to her about everything eventho I hadn't known her for a while. We have a lot in common and have the exact same humour(which is pretty incredible as I am twisted as hell!). We always have a blast when we're just hanging out..

So.. A month or two ago when we were out clubbing with all of my friends except her x aka. my best m8, and we were both pretty drunk and decided to go dancing while my m8s were at the bar drinking! After a few minutes on the dancefloor we ended up kissing, but after a few kisses we decide that it's probably not a good idea that we're kissing, so we head back to the bar without telling anyone about it.. This has happened a few times, but getting more and more serious. My best friend knows we're hang out, but he told me not to hit on her, but it would be fine if we were just good friends!

After texting eachother here in the holidays Steffani and I decided to watch a few movies at my place last night, but JUST as friendsrolleyes! We start out good by just watching the movies, but ofc end up kissing and when the last movie comes to an end it's 2am and her bus doesn't go anymore.. Fine she could sleep at my place np! She had to get up early because she's taking her driverslicense atm.. Nothing happened besides kissing and her sleeping over, but that's still quite bad taking everything in consideration.

She woke me up by kissing me goodbye and then she left.. I hadn't closed an eye all night 'cause I was thinking of alot of things with this hot girl laying next to me snorring(lol ;D)

Wtf am I suppose to do?
1) Tell her that we can't go on as my m8 means more to me?
2) Tell my best friend that I am falling in love with his x and ask him if it's okay?
3) Be with her in secrecy..?
4) Other..

Pls help me as I am pretty screwed atm

To Slow Crew: No I am not turning this one into a priestess -.-

 

[Himse]

2nd, if your secret about it with him, and he finds out, i think he'd be pissed tbh.

If he's a nice guy, he'd appreciate your honesty.

 

[Thorwyn]

Tough situation.

Asking your friend for "permission" is stupid. I mean.. what do you expect him to say? No? Of course he will say yes but will be gutted. Meeting her secretly? Hell no. Despite the fact that the camouflage won´t last long and that this would be unfair to your friend: who are you to hide your feelings.

My best guess is: talk to her and tell her about your concerns. If you love her and she loves you, just go for it. Talk to your friend and tell him the truth (but don´t "ask"). Maybe he´ll get over it.. maybe he won´t talk to you anymore for a while. You can´t win them all.

 

[kirennia]

Best bet mate is to tell your friend that you've started to feel more for her. If you don't and he finds out, you can wave goodbye to that friendship permanently. Also if you suddenly come out and say you've been seeing her for a while, he may get pissy too.

Tell her you want to talk to your friend before you see her again. Make a point of taking him out to the pub alone and discuss it with him. Personally a friend is worth more then a girlfriend MOST of the time but I don't know your circumstances with him. But if you don't talk to him now then things are just going to get worse and worse when you finally do.

I'd say that nothing will happen unless he's fine with it; unless he's the kind of guy who sleeps around a lot anyway.

 

[uron]

Pls help me as I am pretty screwed atm

To Slow Crew: No I am not turning this one into a priestess -.-

LOL bambi plz come on TS with us soon, we'll help u solve ur problems!
jus dont turn this one into a nun!

seriously..
i would tell her tht ur best m8 doesnt want u 2 to get together, mauybe tlk it through with her first?

 

[MaCaBr3]

So let me get this straight: the only thing that is stopping you is because you're mate told you not to hit on her. That's it?

Dude, just go for it. If he's you're best friend, he'll just have to face facts that you and the girl are a good match.

If he can't cope with hit though luck for him, but best friends will always stay best friends.

 

[Sparx]

as a rule i, now, dont get with my best friends ex's and hate them getting with mine.

Its a nice understanding my best mate doesnt do it and i dont to him. I know one of my mates has done it a few times tho and it gets my back up somewhat.

Your best mate will be there alot longer than any girl just remember that.

How would you feel if you found out your best mate, remember this is more than just a mate, this person is your brother who you can always count on and vice-versa, was seeing your ex when you specifically said for him not to

Tread lightly if your going to persue this and be ready to have your friend hate you for awhile cause he probably will

EDIT: i've actually had my first true love, i was crazy about her in every way get with my best mate. I was in the army at the time and they kept it a secret even to the point lying to me about us all meeting up for a pint and telling me the wrong pub etc. that was 6 years and i still havent spoken to him. Just makes me think how can that person be my best mate

 

[Castus]

4.other

If you don`t want this 'hot' girl to think your gayer than a Censi fanclub meet you better hurry up and carve that notch on ya bedpost.She`s prob already suspicious............

 

[Vladamir]

Sparx you just go after milfs now

 

[Sparx]

fuck yeah

 

[Gamah]

More like Dilfs

 

[Ctuchik]

2) Tell my best friend that I am falling in love with his x and ask him if it's okay?

no, u dont ask him if its ok to fall in love with his ex, u tell him that u are falling in love with his ex and ask what he thinks about it.

dont make it sound to him like its his choise or not, thats never a good idea. just ask him for his oppinion and leave it at that.

 

[Raven]

do it, then show him the tapes, tell him where he went wrong.

 

[Tombha]

screw her.... literarly!

 

[Ctuchik]

How would you feel if you found out your best mate, remember this is more than just a mate, this person is your brother who you can always count on and vice-versa, was seeing your ex when you specifically said for him not to

but he havent said no. and my best mate got together with my ex after we broke up, they have 2 kids and a house now and i couldent be happier for any of them. so just because ur thick headed doesent mean we all are

if you think its OK to prevent ppl from being with someone they care about, its your loss in the end. but dont try to force that on someone else.

 

[Darzil]

Tell him, but if he's not got to the point he can cope with seeing other people with an ex of 6 months, he needs a slap and to get on with life.

Darzil

 

[Sparx]

but he havent said no.

but he told me not to hit on her

Get back in your box

 

[Gamah]

Tell him, but if he's not got to the point he can cope with seeing other people with an ex of 6 months, he needs a slap and to get on with life.

Darzil

Not just any old slap, give him a willy bashing.

Step 1: Take out your moderatly sized wang
Step 2: While your freind is sitting run into the room and posistion yourself
Step 3: Give him some sausage slapage
Step 4: Slap him one final time to bring your point
Step 5: Put trousers on.

 

[Succi]

Talk to her about it , if your both serious ; tell him.



lifes too short yawwwwwwwwwl

 

[Sparx]

if you think its OK to prevent ppl from being with someone they care about, its your loss in the end. but dont try to force that on someone else.

Also was here asking for different opinions or just here to settle his consience?

I am merely giving another option. Yeah he may care about this girl but i very much doubt its worth potentially losing a friend over. I have seen alot of very good friendships break up over a girl (not me involved) totally wasted. Looking back every SINGLE one of them wishes they didnt do it cause it was just not worth it. Thats all i am saying so less of the insults please

 

[Vladamir]

More daoc Sparx tbh

 

[Sparx]

yeah mate i'll be on later been slack with the crimbo period. Finish work in a bit tho

 

[Thorwyn]

do it, then show him the tapes, tell him where he went wrong.

"See, dude? That´s the difference between you and me. *I* did NOT run away when she came back from the bathroom with this silly strap on thingy and this special smile on her face."

 

[cHodAX]

You have to tell him but if you are really into this girl then you can't sacrifice your feelings towards her for the sake your friend, make him understand that and if he can't then he wasn't as good of a friend as you thought. It isn't often you meet a girl who is on the completely same wavelength as you, don't let her go if you feel so strongly for her.

 

[cHodAX]

"See, dude? That´s the difference between you and me. *I* did NOT run away when she came back from the bathroom with this silly strap on thingy and this special smile on her face."

Herher! Thorwyn got bummed by his biatch!

 

[Where TheHellAmI]

F00ck her!

Seriously, after 6 months shouldnt be a prob, ask him really if he maybe hopes to get her back for himself, maybe thats why he is denying u to see her...

 

[NikonL]

depends how desperate you are really. if youre all "omg shes the perfect girl for me and everything would be perfect" then you pretty much have to at least try it with her with or without your friends permission.

If shes just "a girl" and youd be fine if you just went out/had sex with another girl, then why make your mate feel bad? id always pick my mate over a girl assuming i wasnt properly in love with the girl in question.

 

[Tilda]

Talk to him, tell him you're falling for his x. Its not like its something you choose to do. He will either get cross, in which case he's a dick and needs to get over her, or he'll say yeah sure its fine with me and you're good to go.
Have a heart to heart chat with him and make sure its ok, try hook him up with one of your lady friends!

Having said that, if a friend of mine wanted to get with an x, i'd probably agree, but then feel profoundly uncomfortable if I was with them, although that depends on which ex it was. Ones where I'm still friends with, I wouldn't mind, its the ones where theres been a nasty break and we don't talk anymore than would make me feel uncomfortable.

 

[Eeben]

try hook him up with one of your lady friends!

.

using sex as a weapon!
if i didnt know better i would think you are a girl

 

[CorNokZ]

using sex as a weapon!
if i didnt know better i would think you are a girl

Now u mention it Tilda does sound kinda girlish

On topic: Thx for the replies guys and Tilda()!

Think I'll have a chat with him when he comes back from his holidays and tell him that I fancy his x and wanna know how he feels about that etc.. Seems like the best thing to do as we are propably gonna be busted very soon if we try to keep it a secret!