Fake catacombs warning!

Skrad

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
174
People that work in the construction industry may well have seen something similar to the events portrayed in this JOKE thread :D

Ok people, be aware. There are gangs of opportunistic lowlifes going around trying to sell fake copies of Catacombs to all the DAoC addicts currently deprived of their new improved 'fix'.

They turn up, uninvited, outside cybercafes, game stores and computer labs accross the country in unmarked transit vans, usually new, and of course, hired for the day only by cash. There are usually three people inside the van: the driver is the quiet one, the person by the passenger door is the gobby one and the one in the middle seat is the one you really don't want to see get out the van.

A little more about each of them. The gobby one is usually short with ginger hair, an inane grin almost permanently fixed to his face and a strong Irish accent. He can often be heard uttering such phrases as "C'mere, c'mere, c'mere" and "O'ill tell ya what o'ill do" : these phrases most commonly accompanied by a puny arm being interlocked with yours in a pseudo-friendly manner.

The driver, a little taller and not quite as puny, as I said, is the quiet one. He'll get out the van just after the passenger and stand there saying nothing. He'll usually be wearing a scowl on his face, but does try to smile now and then between nodding sagely at the witticisms of his little friend. If pressed into conversation, the only reply you are likely to get is a surly, "Talk to dat man dere!"

The guy in the middle? Well, I've never hung about long after he's got out the van, but he's about 8 feet tall, built like a brick shithouse and, apparently, called Seamus.

So, the sales pitch.... Basically the lepricaun will say "C'mere c'mere c'mere, Oi've got just what you'll be lookin for! Looky here at dis den! Dis here is yer genuine Dark Age of Camerlot Expansion Catacoombs. O'ill tell ya what Oi'll do! Dis here costs ye fitty poinds in da shops but O'ill give you it fer twenty-foive! Dat's just twenty-foive poinds fer the new catcoombs!!" all without once drawing breath.

At this stage, he waves a brightly coloured box rapidly past your eyes, letting you see something that looked an awful lot like "Dark Age of Camelot. Catacombs. Mythic Entertainment."

His mouth falls open again, still smiling, as he says, "So c'mon then, c'mon, who'll be boi-ing dis ere expansion den, only twenty-foive pounds?"

You of course, point out that it's only £20 in the shops so he goes "allroight allroight allroight, Oi'll tell ya what oi'll do! Oi'll give ya not just one, but Oi'll give ya two for fitty poinds!"

Don't be tempted people. All you'll end up with is a circle of plastic cut from a coke bottle, sprayed silver, wrapped in a bit of old cardboard and labelled "Dork aige of camerloot, Cat Combs, My Thick Aunty Mavis"

Oh and if you do fall for this... don't ask for your money back.... it's round about this time that Seamus gets out the van! :eek6:
 

Skrad

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
174
knighthood said:
I do hope u dont upset too many irish with that :D

:fluffle:
Hehe, well all the guys I've seen doing that with drills etc on sites I've worked on were Irish and used exactly that form of patter, so no offence is intended and I'm sure none will be taken :D

I hope this has given people a bit of a laugh after all the negative threads on here about catacombs :)
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom