Excuse needed

[Jeros]

I working friday night and saturday morning from 7am

but i am going out with a hot girl that night so i need an excuse as to why i cannot work friday or saturday morning (or the whole day)

i cant say im ill cos i work at a station and i have to walk THROUGH the station to get a train to where im going.

Im working on a "family thing i have to attend but dont want to" kinda excuse

that why i look like i wanna work but cant

really i should not be in any trouble work wise as a did a double shift on sat and always work extra hours if i can.

The girl im going with also works with me so i need to make sure we both have our stories str8

 

[old.Whoodoo]

Please tick where appropriate...

• My [insert family member’s name here] died.
• My [insert another family member’s name here too] also passed away.
• There was massive traffic jam this morning on my way over here.
• There was a horrible car accident on my way over here.
• I was in a car accident on my way over here.
• My car is in the shop.
• The bus was late.
• The bus was late again, sorry.
• I got a ticket on my way over here.
• I got a flat tire on my way over here.
• I got lost on my way over here.
• I ran out of gas on the way over here.
• I couldn’t find parking.
• I couldn’t find my car keys this morning.
• I lost my wallet this morning and couldn’t leave without it.
• I was mugged coming into work today.
• I have an appointment with my [insert medical physician here]
• Now I have a Doctor’s note to leave early and/or requires me to do less work around here.
• I feel ill and should go home early today.
• I have the [insert strange disease name here] and won’t be able to come in to work for a couple of days.
• I need to go home early, I still don’t feel 100% just yet.
• Sorry I’m late, I’m in the middle of moving into my new place.
• Sorry I’m late, but the good news is that I finished moving into my new place.
• Sorry I’m late, but the power went out last night.
• I went home for lunch and was stuck in traffic on my way back.
• I got food poisoning and won’t be able to come in.
• What?.. I didn’t know I couldn’t do that. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.
• Okay, I knew I couldn’t do that but give me one more chance, it won’t happen again.
• I didn’t come into work because I traded shifts with [insert poor bastards name here].
• I didn’t do it, it was [insert poor bastards name here again] that did that.
• [Insert poor bastards name here yet again] told me it was okay to do that.
• I was helping out [insert poor bastards name here and get him fired once and for all] and that’s why you couldn’t find me.
• I was in the restroom, that’s why you couldn’t find me. No not that restroom, the one on the 2nd floor.
• I was on my [insert type of break here] break.
• I don’t recall that being one of the required skills to work here!? I don’t know how to [insert required task here]. I need to take the 7 day training seminar or watch the 7 hours of training videos again, while you do it.
• I forgot.
• I forgot again, sorry.
• I never got the memo, and [insert poor bastards name that doesn’t work here anymore] didn’t tell me about it.
• Sorry about that, but I was running some errands for Mr. [insert an executives name here that they will never meet to confirm] all day long.
• What!? Why are you calling me on my day off to come in again?.. (Static noise followed by a click, indicating the call was dropped.)
• I really didn’t have any clean clothes to come to work with, this is all I had to wear.
• I just suffered a mild [insert medical condition here], I should be back at work in no time.
• This may sound like a lame excuse, but my dog really ate my work. No really, you have to believe me.
• I have no excuse for being late, I was honestly just too drunk to wake up.
• My genitle disorder is playing up badly and I t walk properly.

• I won't be in today. My fish is sick and I need to take it to the vet.
• My neighbor's daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out.
• I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.
• I fell off a ladder fixing the roof on my house and I landed on my elbow.
• I don't think I'll be in work for awhile. Yesterday I was riding my son's BMX bike and I fell and broke my ankle it two places and I'm in the hospital.
• I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last night.
• I'm not coming in because I need a mental day.
• My car caught on fire on the way to work so I can't make it in.
• My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctor.
• My cat got ran over by a motorcycle and I need to take it to the vet.
• Had to be rushed to hospital for coffee burns on my lap be in tomorrow!
• I cant come to work today because the city is paving my street and I cant get out!

 

[Bahumat]

Is she bunking off too or has she got a legitimate reason?

Say you have found out who your realms mum/dad is and they are on a flight back saturday morning. You need to spend as much time with them as possible.

 

[Fana]

Why not just say you are going on a hot date?

 

[Jeros]

Is she bunking off too or has she got a legitimate reason?

Say you have found out who your realms mum/dad is and they are on a flight back saturday morning. You need to spend as much time with them as possible.

No she only works sundays.

My mum lives in france and i have mentioned this at work serval times before

jackpot

 

[Bahumat]

No she only works sundays.

My mum lives in france and i have mentioned this at work serval times before

jackpot

Say your mum has won the Froggy Lottery and wants you to quit your job, but say you love your job and need to explain this to her.

Then buy some porn and slap it on your managers desk!

 

[Sparx]

i'd go with buy your boss porn, that works everytime. You can say anything to them then and they wont be listening

 

[Dukat]

Then buy some porn and slap it on your managers desk!

Ohhhh, you mean the porn, slap the porn on the managers desk!!

I was going to say!!

 

[TdC]

tell your boss you got an STD off this girl at work and you both had to go to the clinic.

 

[Sparx]

oh thats a goody, the most believable lies are always the most extreme and ones that embarrass yourself too like getting an STI

 

[Sharma]

"Hi i'm sorry, can't come into work today, just been in a plane crash, my whole family is dead and i'm a vegetable, see you on monday!"

 

[Rookiescot]

Tell them you cant attend work over the weekend as you think you may loose your virginity.

 

[Sparx]

tell them you just slepping with his wife so think it may be innappropriate to see him as you dont want to rub it in his face

 

[Lamp]

Just tell them the truth - you met a woman who you find sexually attractive, and instead of coming in to work, you'd really rather spend all weekend penetrating her anus, mouth, and vagina with your erect penis, before sucking her breasts, and ejaculating your hot semen all over her face. Additionally, the aforementioned person of the contradictory gender will be sitting on your face, grinding her vagina into your face with the result that she unleashes a torrent of pungent vaginal secretions down the back of the your throat. Foreplay, mutual masturbation, and recreational use of cocaine and magic mushrooms will follow an orgy of junk food, cheap alcohol, and a game of pool down the local pub.

They can't sack you for not telling the truth.

 

[Sparx]

tell them you just slepping with his wife so think it may be innappropriate to see him as you dont want to rub it in his face

wtf does that mean?

I mean tell him you just finished sleeping with his wife

 

[Jeremiah]

Lamp, you shouldnt just have a Parental Warning tag, you should have a Society Warning tag.

 

[Iceforge]

What I would do, if I was me, was tell the truth, in this fashion:

"Hey <insert your boss name here>, I need to talk to you! About this friday and saturday shift. I really would like to get off. I got a date with this nice girl and I would like not to screw it up by having to cancel on her. I know it is not the best reason to get off ever, but we both know I usually don't ask to get off a lot and I often come in when you need someone for an extra shift. It would mean a lot to me, if I could get off friday and saturday"

Then he basicly have to choise of being a mean mofu and say no or be a good boss and say yes.

"BUT WHAT IF HE SAYS NO???" Well, ask yourself how much you want to work for an idiot like that. If you like me come to the answer "Not very much", go in thursday and quit your job. Go directly home and don't show up until Monday where you can ask you job back or alternatively stick to your decision and go searching for a new job.

 

[Lamp]

Don't quit your job because her LOL
Do what the rest of humanity does, and see your woman outside of work
Its not rocket science

 

[Vasconcelos]

"BUT WHAT IF HE SAYS NO???" Well, ask yourself how much you want to work for an idiot like that. If you like me come to the answer "Not very much", go in thursday and quit your job. Go directly home and don't show up until Monday where you can ask you job back or alternatively stick to your decision and go searching for a new job.

Your boss must be Mother Theresa for giving you your old job back in that case buddy

 

[Jeros]

Just tell them the truth - you met a woman who you find sexually attractive, and instead of coming in to work, you'd really rather spend all weekend penetrating her anus, mouth, and vagina with your erect penis, before sucking her breasts, and ejaculating your hot semen all over her face. Additionally, the aforementioned person of the contradictory gender will be sitting on your face, grinding her vagina into your face with the result that she unleashes a torrent of pungent vaginal secretions down the back of the your throat. Foreplay, mutual masturbation, and recreational use of cocaine and magic mushrooms will follow an orgy of junk food, cheap alcohol, and a game of pool down the local pub.

They can't sack you for not telling the truth.

Erm

Shes engaged so no

be nice

but no

Also i managed to get it off without even using an excuse, they love me as im flexible with hours and do overtime

 

[Solo]

I want to put my penis in a coworker isn't a legitimate excuse?

If they are going to see you going through the station on friday night you can't exactly pull the sick excuse. What about you've won free tickets to a show / gig in somewhere far away so you won't be back till very late and would like the sat off aswell as you'd be obv too tired to work the morning. Then offer to come in afternoon?

 

[Himse]

lol just say you can only plan it this weekend, since she is going back to america or something, then just ask if someone will cover your shift, then you'll do some of theirs! know its not ideal but its better than missing it

 

[Jeros]

READ THE RUCKING THREAD I ALREADY GOT THE NIGHT OFF

RETARDS

jk :wub:

i did tho

 

[Eeben]

you better get laid now that you skipped work to go on a date with her! will be waste of money otherwise!!!! tell her that!

 

[Himse]

you better get laid now that you skipped work to go on a date with her! will be waste of money otherwise!!!! tell her that!

He better get laid since he made us post excuses.

Otherwise he will feel FH Wrath.

 

[Vladamir]

We need pics too or it never happened

 

[Himse]

We need pics too or it never happened

QFT.

 

[liloe]

i cant say im ill cos i work at a station and i have to walk THROUGH the station to get a train to where im going.

Get one of those and you can sneak through anywhere, Mr. Bond

 

[Jeros]

Get one of those and you can sneak through anywhere, Mr. Bond

but my face already looks like that

 

[Lamp]

Moustaches are coming back in a big fuckin way this year. In 2008, if you ain't got a moustache, you might as well cut your penis off. And that goes for women too !