Embarassing things you have done but haven't admitted thread

[GDW]

Heres one to get it started....

Last night I had a flashback to what is the most cringeworthy thing I have ever done and have never spoken of it to anyone...until now.

Im not proud of it and would still not be able to tell anyone about it, but for a laugh here goes...

When I was about 22 I shared a flat with this chap who is still a very good friend of mine. One boring afternoon (I was in between jobs at the time) I noticed a video tape that I hadnt seen before. (yes this was pre DVD and internet days). I had been playing Syndicate on my mates new Amiga 500 all morning and was now bored. I played the tape and to my surprise I had discovered some lovely hardcore pron. (relatively hard to get hold of at the time).

So, as you do, I proceeded to have ham shank, not noticing that I had slightly yoghurted the Amiga.


The next day when my mate was playing the Amiga, he starts looking closely at it.

'Whats this shit on my Amiga mate', he says

'I don't know mate, is my reply' (it hadnt twigged with me yet what had happened)

He then proceeded to scratch at his Amiga , carefully inspected his the crud that had built up on his finger nail and then fucking decided to taste it. (now it dawns on me what has happened)

'It tastes a bit wierd' , says he

'Does it' I replied nearly choking

'Yes, its a bit salty' he replied (I kid you not)

He then proceeded to clean the Amiga with a damp cloth.

Jesus I felt so bad for the rest of the day


Next...

 

[Clown]

I called my teacher 'mum'

 

[Munkey]

I fell down a man hole while walking backwards waving for a taxi.

Only moments before I had remarked to my friend "Wouldnt it be funny if someone fell down that open manhole? Like something out of Laurel and Hardy?"

Woe is me Opened my leg up, went to a party, got insanely drunk and then passed out.


Not the best day of my life, but still did a rather good job picking up my current girlfriend by telling her the story about it

 

[yaruar]

I called my teacher 'mum'

I called your mum "teacher"

 

[Clown]

https://forums.freddyshouse.com/showpost.php?p=2966927&postcount=4

Embarassing things yaruar has done.

 

[mycenae]

I'm having to choose from a list here.....
Its safe to admit to breaking a priceless family heirloom (plate with famikly crest on it) as i know my mother will never read this....but thats boring

Its far more entertaining for others to admit to 'mistakenly' releasing an entire herd of cows when i was about 11. I was in the south of england staying in a farmhouse with my mum, her friend and her friends daughter who was around my age. We were both huge animal activists at the time, and were slightly distressed about the plight of some cows being kept in the barn next to the house. There were a lot of them in a small stable, knee deep in their own crap. We felt sorry for them. Our parents had left us on our own for the afternoon. Being naive and a bit daft, we decided to let them out for 'a little run around.' I don't know what we were thinking.....
Needless to say, the whole herd stampeded off down the road, myself and this other girl screaming all the while, half in terror of the stampeding cows, half in terror of what would happen to us when we were found out.
The cows had disappeared over the horizon, we were sat on the floor in a heap. A jeep appeared with a brace of dead hares dangling from the roll bar and a bunch of decidedly dodgy blokes with air guns.
'Wassup with you two?' they asked.
'sob, sob, weep, weep, cows, mumble, mumble,' we replied, gesticulating toward the empty stable.
'OH, them loose cows are meant to be in this stable are they? Don't worry 'bout that, we'll have 'em back in a jiffy for you.'
They proceeded to give us both large sticks and placed us at strategic points.
'If they run at you, shout as loud as you can and wave those sticks,' they said.
Then they roared off in the jeep. We heard a lot of horn hooting and then a lot of mooing. Then over the crest of the road, the cows re-appeared, moving at quite a pace, the jeep with the guys in it chasing them. We did as we were asked, shouted, screamed and waved sticks, and after 15 mins of chaos, the cows were back in the stable. We thanked the blokes profusely, sobbing again.
'Oh, by the way, you haven't seen us, and this didn't happen, ok?' they said. We agreed, why woudn't we. Parents came home, noticed we were both a bit subdued, asked us why. We made up some crap about being scared being left alone. You would have thought that was the end of that. NO!
Next day, a policeman comes by the house, and asks if any of us have seen a jeep and some blokes fitting descriptions of the ones that helped us the day before. All wide eyed and innicent, we denied all knowledge. Turns out they were poachers, wanted for quite a few minor misdemeanours and not very nice people........
.......I don't much like cows anymore!

 

[WPKenny]

In my teens there was this guy who used to be horrendously geeky (he made guns from lego and wrote his own sci-fi stories in the back of school notebooks). He used to hold house parties to be popular and his parents seemed quite keen to let him.

So at one of these house parties it was revealed that his parents often went to france to stock up on cheap booze and it was all stashed in the garage.

Personal supplies were running low and unsurprisingly people were already pretty pissed.
While wandering passed the door from the kitchen to the garage I noticed a group of people all showved up against the door and announcing they were attempting to pick the lock. This seemed like a great idea so I joined the crowd.
I'm not sure if it was our combined weight or if someone did indeed pick the lock but the door came swinging open while our pile of bodies struggled to untangle itself. Someone climbs over the top of me so I grab hold of their clothing and pull myself onto my feet.

It's a free for all. People diving on the crates of beer. One poor bloke announced he had a crate of Stella. Within seconds his crate of stella had turned into some torn pieces of cardboard hanging from his hand.

I managed to grab about 5 or so bottles of beer while stuffing them into my pockets and beating a hasty retreat before things turned into a full blown riot. I dash out into the hallway where a couple of the guys from his class are gathered. I announce the fact the garage has been broken into and everyone's going for the booze thinking they'd jump up and join the afray. Instead they rant about how out of order it is and how that's just fucking nasty.

I sense that I wasn't making friends. I look at the one beer in my hand and hope they don't notice my buldging pockets. So I approach them, turn around to face the kitchen and say "Yeah, fucking out of order, what a bunch of arseholes!" whilst sipping my garage cooled beer.

They never did suspect me.

*ashamed*

 

[mank!]

this is more stupid than embarassing, and it's not the worst but i left the sunroof open on my car wednesday night when it rained heavily. oops.

p.s. if anyone knows how to dry out car seats please tell me

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well, you guys know that britney spears ain't a virgin anymore?

No but seriously...hmm...i've done some weird sh*t in my days, and probably will proceed to do so tonight, but lets see...

Last day of school, came home drunk, lived next to the school and the woond carving class whatnot had a wall length glass window.

A fist and some serious noise later, i'm walking towards home, my brother telling me to speed the f*ck up and my hand bleeding.

Next day we were all wondering who broke the next door, wall sized window. Some wondered less.

 

[mycenae]

as an addendum to my previous post, I am intrigued as to WHY GDW had this flashback....what made him have it? I'm having horrible mental images of PC's and keyboards being covered in undesirable substances!

 

[old.Tohtori]

as an addendum to my previous post, I am intrigued as to WHY GDW had this flashback....what made him have it? I'm having horrible mental images of PC's and keyboards being covered in undesirable substances!

Probably somewhere in the ballpark of....


*fap fap fap* *splurt*

Ah sh*t...oh that reminds me...

*flashback ripples*

*fap fap fap *splurt*

Ah sh*t...

*flashback ripples*

Damn that was a long time ago...

 

[leggy]

I have a few stored up. Unfortunately I wouldn't even announce them on a forum ... they are that bad. My guilty conscience is unforgiving

 

[Sockstuff]

I once wiped my arse with the cotton wool from inside my plaster cast from my broken arm. I was about 9 and I really can't remember WHY i did this.... but I did.

 

[Sharma]

Hmm.

Ages ago when I was around the age of 5 in my old house, I had to run downstairs to "The lone loo" on the bottom floor since everyone else had crowded the upstairs ones.

After doing the do and such, I notice "Fuck there's no toilet roll" and in my logic of a 5 year old boy, I think "Oh the towel will do" and proceeded to wipe my arse with it. That being done I was going to head out and of all the things that could have possibly happened at that moment, the door lock jam and im stuck inside.

This resulted in getting some guys from the fire department had to come down and lift me out of the tiny window in the side of the toilet.

That was fun.

 

[mank!]

that reminds me of getting locked in the toilets in wimpey. i was about 7 or 8, i think, and i had to scream my head off to get some help. my aunt ended up bursting into the gents to practically smash the door down.