does this strike anyone else as odd?

[tris-]

over the years ive been gradually going from morbidly obese to slim and healthy.
when i was a giant marshmallow suffering chest pains and breathing difficulties, no one made any comment on my lifestyle. no matter what i ate and how many times i ate it, no one said a thing.
but as i started to change how i lived people started passing comments like "you look ill, your face isnt round anymore" and "do you need to goto the doctors?"

i am now ofc at the healthiest ive ever been, which youd think people would be happy about. ive extended my natural life expectancy, i can walk without sweating and i no longer look grotesque.

well youre completley wrong.

im not small by any sense of the word (over 12.5st and 6ft3), imo i just look slim. but the past weeks im being told "arnt you taking this too far?" and "youre obsessed with being anarexic".
WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANNA BE ANAREXIC? it really makes no sense why people are trying to put me down for wanting to be healthy, why is it such a taboo? no one give a shit when my life expectancy was around 40yrs, now ive literally doubled that everyone is on my case. no one has ever said anything like "good job making the change, its nice to see your healthy for a change" or anything to that effect. these are the same sorts of people who go drinking 5 times a week and eat skips because theyre only 99 calories.

bottom line is im getting fucked off with it, and i have no idea wtf to say to these types of people anymore :/ are they just jealous, genuinely concerned, dick heads?

:/

 

[Golly]

im a shade over 6ft 3 with a fairly slim build and 12.5-13.5st is my perfect weight, i feel a bit on the thin side when i hit 11st (uni starvation periods etc) but just nice around 13st ish

its just a case of people not being use to how you look on a visual basis kinda thing, if they have genuine concerns just explain yourself to em in a "diplomatic" manner, explain your fine and not mentally ill, and that you just dont want to be overweight, nothing at all wrong with that!

 

[Jarahl]

Hey mate it happend to me as well a couple of years ago.

I've always been going to the gym alot, then a couple of months I just felt like I had extra energy and wanted to put that into good use.

I ended up getting as fit as I ever had been, no fat whatsoever at the "belt" and just absolutely satisfied with my shape.

People started getting concerned tho when I suddent went to the gym so much, and well I did start a diet too as I wanted to experiment on how much I could improve in 3 months time, result was wicked

I guess if its people close to you - you just have to let them know that you wanted to change your life around but you'r in complete control and thank them for their concern, thats what I did

 

[echome]

That is why I have desided to stay fat hehe...

Well as Jarahl said, talk to them and tell them why. You should just be glad that they care about you mate.

 

[Vladamir]

Theres no such thing as a jolly skinny man.

You're just angry at me all the time now

 

[old.Tohtori]

tris-, welcome to the club.

"Diabetic and living? So you must use peoples moneyz!"
"Diet coke with a big mac?! Like that's gonna help fatty!"
"It's nice to see you've gained some weight."

People want you to be this and that, do this and that, because THEY want you to. And at the same time as they want you to be this, they want you to be that and think you can't live your life on your own. YOU NEED THEIR ADVICE!! Like i say, f*ck 'em. And if you can't f*ck 'em, f*ck 'em over.

 

[echome]

tris-, welcome to the club.

"Diabetic and living? So you must use peoples moneyz!"
"Diet coke with a big mac?! Like that's gonna help fatty!"
"It's nice to see you've gained some weight."

People want you to be this and that, do this and that, because THEY want you to. And at the same time as they want you to be this, they want you to be that and think you can't live your life on your own. YOU NEED THEIR ADVICE!! Like i say, f*ck 'em. And if you can't f*ck 'em, f*ck 'em over.

Or just avoid those people if they wont leave you alone? - no need to go all crazy Mr. Seal:wub:

 

[old.Tohtori]

Or just avoid those people if they wont leave you alone? - no need to go all crazy Mr. Seal:wub:

I've been a nice guy for 28 years, done everything by the book, avoided confrontation if i could and it got me...nothing.

So...no thanks, i think i'll go crazy.

 

[echome]

I've been a nice guy for 28 years, done everything by the book, avoided confrontation if i could and it got me...nothing.

So...no thanks, i think i'll go crazy.

Cool... Can I join you?

 

[Solo]

They don't sound like very nice friends.

Imo just jelous of what you feel you have achieved.

 

[tris-]

im not sure it is genuine care though, the way they say it, and the amount of times they keep saying. apparently im obsessed, even though i NEVER talk about anything to do with it with my friends, because i know they are not interested in health and fitness. so im not gonna bore them with it am i?
they dont ask questions, they simply put down and make being healthy a taboo inline with incest :/

 

[Dudley52]

When I was in year 9 at school I was quite overweight. At the end of year 10 I started losing weight, fast. It was because I was more active and started eating more healthily. The teachers at school were going crazy.
My best friend even thought I was anorexic. My english teacher wanted to take me to the school nurse about my anorexic illness. I told them that I am eating healthily and am more active now. They didn't believe me. It was really annoying, every lesson she would say," are you ok? You don't look healthy, I'm going to take you to the school nurse".
After a while they gave up.


They are probably just concerned about you tris. After a while they won't bother.

 

[Golly]

they dont ask questions, they simply put down and make being healthy a taboo inline with incest :/

incest can be a humorous topic, taboo's dont exist with bestest m8s imo

just give them the whole "wake up and stop being a cockend" talk, make them feel guilty for bringin it up all the time

the proverbial slap

 

[cHodAX]

Ignore them Tris, it sounds like you are in real good shape now but people have got so used to you being chunky they can't get their heads around what a slim and healthy you should look like. It is their problem, not yours.

 

[tris-]

what i find worse is no one is happy that i am healthy, seems they prefered me being fucked up!
though im glad im not the only one who has this problem. the only people who understand it are others who are/were in the same boat.

 

[old.Tohtori]

what i find worse is no one is happy that i am healthy, seems they prefered me being fucked up!
though im glad im not the only one who has this problem. the only people who understand it are others who are/were in the same boat.

You can ofcourse imagine things the other way around.

Would you(probably not) tell someone if they started gaining weight, at the same rate you're dropping it?

If you want to discuss people "butting in" that is.

About people saying these things, especially in weight loss situations, people do see it as a bit alarming as a status quo usually means nothing is wrong. They'll get used to it.

 

[tris-]

if someone was a fatty and started getting more fatty then id tell them. fact is i was a fatty and got healthy, but that seems to be a problem.

 

[cHodAX]

what i find worse is no one is happy that i am healthy, seems they prefered me being fucked up!
though im glad im not the only one who has this problem. the only people who understand it are others who are/were in the same boat.

Well I was 4 stone overweight at one point and although my mum was very happy when I lost 3.5 stone of it alot of people kept pointing out that I should stop as I didn't look well. The funny thing is that I felt great and I though I looked better as well. Over the last few years with all my back problems I have put all the weight back on, people now make snide comments about my weight when they think I can't hear or they try pass it off as a joke. The whole senario is fucked up tbh, I think it is just part of the nature of some people to be negative all the time and run everyone else down. Right now I would kill to be 11st again but my back problems are preventing me from doing it and it looks like it always will be a stumbling block, after all if you can't do any proper exercise how do you lose weight? Crash diet? No thanks, I like my grub too much.

 

[tris-]

if your interested chodax, i can hook you up with a group of dieticians. just explain your problem, and what you want to do and they will make you a diet plan. costs ofc, but you can lose fat without exercising.

 

[old.Tohtori]

if someone was a fatty and started getting more fatty then id tell them. fact is i was a fatty and got healthy, but that seems to be a problem.

Well yes, in the "butting in" thing, then you'd be doing the exact same thing.

People do it cause they think something's wrong with you, and they think that you don't know it. Which, is possible ofcourse(not saying it is), but denial is a b*tch that way...can't prove it and can't deny it.

If the fatting(heh) person said "I'm fine" to you, would you butt out?

(By the way, not defending, starting something, doing anything, just offering my view so you could maybe see something you haven't seen, get your own conclusions and maybe udnerstand why they do what they do...which is basically what you asked right?)

 

[tris-]

but someone who is overweight is going to suffer health problems by pilling on more weight, therfore id be concerned. someone who is overweight and is lowering down to a healthy weight will gain nothing but health benefits.

and no btw, nothing is wrong with me. i had blood tests a number of months ago to check my weightloss wasnt down to a medical problem.

 

[old.Tohtori]

but someone who is overweight is going to suffer health problems by pilling on more weight, therfore id be concerned. someone who is overweight and is lowering down to a healthy weight will gain nothing but health benefits.

and no btw, nothing is wrong with me. i had blood tests a number of months ago to check my weightloss wasnt down to a medical problem.

Yes, but you can see hwo people would feel "needed" to butt in, liek you would on a fat person getting fatter, when they see a (i think?) drastic loss of weight?

Many illnesses cause loss of weight, and i think that's what you're friends are worried about.

Saying "I'm fine", isn't enough by the way, you should sit them down, talk about it conclusively and assure them that you ARE fine and doing it for health reasons.

If they still continue to pester you, then just tell 'em to f*ck off.

 

[kirennia]

A friend of mine was in a similar situation. He basically went away to uni at 16 stone and came back, down to around 11 stone (i think). He looks much thinner of course, has a completely different attitude to eating and such but is a lot happier now he's done it.

I hope this'll give you an insight into other peoples thinking. When I first saw him, I thought it was incredible he'd lost so much weight but granted, it was a strange thing seeing someone you've known loosing so much weight. At first, it just didn't seem right. I personally would put it down to our primal instincts. Back in ye olde caveman days, it was always a case of survival of the fattest; if your 'pack' leader was chubby, you'd generally be better off then if they were thin because they'd be hunting a lot more and have more reserves should the food dry up for a while. A lot of thin people (men especially) who live completely healthy lives get the same sort of stick, purely because deep down, they're being looked at as bad candidates for 'pack' leader. Just look at peter crouch

Anyway, back to the story. The thing was, he did look a lot better for it, acted better and everything. The only reason I can for people thinking it's less healthy is that they knew you as larger. Seeing someone who's been eating less then they used to, again, back to the primal theory, would symbolise in peoples heads that they can't catch food as well anymore. If you were that weight all along, no-one would bat an eyelid.

A test to the theory would be to go somewhere where no-one knows you and see if you get the same reaction. I seriously doubt you would.

 

[old.Tohtori]

A test to the theory would be to go somewhere where no-one knows you and see if you get the same reaction. I seriously doubt you would.

Ah but there's a primal(felt like that word) problem with that.

People don't have a comparison.

I'm thinking tris- is getting this "slack" because people see him "wither away". A new person would just see tris- as...tris-

 

[kirennia]

Ah but there's a primal(felt like that word) problem with that.

People don't have a comparison.

I'm thinking tris- is getting this "slack" because people see him "wither away". A new person would just see tris- as...tris-

Aye, that was my point of the whole thing, heh. It's not that he really does look unhealthy (I'm guessing) I'd just say it's because of the change. Don't suddenly start putting the weight back on because of what some people who know you say, only get worried if it's people who you've never met before who start being worried about you...

Well...just don't put it back on unless you want to basically, whatever you're most comfortably with, make others deal with it ^^.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Aye, that was my point of the whole thing, heh. It's not that he really does look unhealthy (I'm guessing)

Ah yeah, took a moment, hangover and nearing drunk so a bit "slow"

True. tris- you should get an outside opinion on your looks. If unknown people say you look unhealthy, then you should take a look into it or maybe "reflect" or some other stuff like that .

 

[kirennia]

Shine on you crazy diamond, wish you were here then shine on you crazy diamond outro listened to with a cuppa tea with loadsa sugar in it, in bed. Best hangover cure there is It make take 30minutes to do but I was feeling quite ill this morning, did that and now I'm up and active, woohoo.

 

[Dudley52]

In your pics tris-, you do look skinny though. Its not a bad thing, I just can't imagine you being fat!

 

[Lamp]

Ignore them
You didn't lose weight to please others - you did it for yourself
So let em comment
Fuck em. You be nice n healthy if ya want to
Just smile and say its the new me, I'm happy, and if you gotta problem, go forth & multiply.

Edit: Don't know why but I've suddenly got a MASSIVE craving for a hambuger....drool....

 

[tris-]

Ah yeah, took a moment, hangover and nearing drunk so a bit "slow"

True. tris- you should get an outside opinion on your looks. If unknown people say you look unhealthy, then you should take a look into it or maybe "reflect" or some other stuff like that .

women find me attractive, women who ive never seen before.
you cant look attractive if you look unhealthy can you?