Does sex matter in a relationship?

[AngelHeal]

It's not official Sir Tohtori, just some underground guerilla attacks. Only the elite core of FH are involved.

...owkay...
wait for me then!! xD

 

[Iceforge]

Well that's not really answering anything i said, but taking it to a whole different place again. But what the hey...if you define a dead-end relationship as "not getting any" and if you define love by sexing someone up, then by all means do. Not that i'd ever agree.

Thats not what I said at all, I said that if I love someone and is attracted to them and then we don't have sex, I can't take that as anything else than her not being attracted/interested in me in that way, so then what is the point?

Not that it isn't nice with someone you can kiss and care about, but would you seriously have a relationship with a women with whom you'd never have sex?

Because thats what I am arguing that I wouldn't, while you make that out to be that all I focus on is sex... I am not saying I would have a relationship with anybody who would have sex with me, that would be pathethic... Sex is not what defines love according to me, but it is a part of the love package, if you take away one part of it, it is all futile and pointless..

I won't stay in a relationship without sex
I won't stay in a relationship without kisses
I won't stay in a relationship without deep emotional connections
I won't stay in a relationship with someone I don't find intellectually interesting to speak with
I won't stay ina relationship where I don't on some level appreciate every moment I get to spend with my partner.

That I also require sex doesn't mean I neglect and don't care about the rest.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Thats not what I said at all, I*snip*d don't care about the rest.

Thanks for clearing it up, even if i think the other way around.

I don't need a relatioship to have sex.
I don't need a relationship to have kisses.

Just as an example.

I was simply saying how it sounded, you cleared it up, discussion. Yei

Though i do take a bit of offence, BIT, about saying it's pathetic as it does incline me to think you'd think of me as pathetic. But that's probably not the case.

You need sex to be a part of a relationship, i don't, just what i was saying about it being very personal and individual type of thing.

 

[pez]

Surely a relationship without sex is just friendship. I mean without sex, technically I am going out with my flatmate and hes an ugly cnut.

 

[Aoami]

Surely a relationship without sex is just friendship. I mean without sex, technically I am going out with my flatmate and hes an ugly cnut.

Hah! I was going to post something extremely similar, but i thought my flatmate might come across this and try to take us to the next level.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Surely a relationship without sex is just friendship. I mean without sex, technically I am going out with my flatmate and hes an ugly cnut.

And a friend with benefits is your "dream lover and the one" by that assumption?

Just saying, if you take the sex out, it doesn't mean that your partner is simply a friend.

 

[Aoami]

it does though.

 

[Iceforge]

Thanks for clearing it up, even if i think the other way around.

I don't need a relatioship to have sex.
I don't need a relationship to have kisses.

Just as an example.

I was simply saying how it sounded, you cleared it up, discussion. Yei

Though i do take a bit of offence, BIT, about saying it's pathetic as it does incline me to think you'd think of me as pathetic. But that's probably not the case.

You need sex to be a part of a relationship, i don't, just what i was saying about it being very personal and individual type of thing.

I said being willing to have a relationship with anybody who would have sex with you would be pathethic....

Didn't say being able to live completely without sex was pathethic m8!

However, I do find that very strange, but I guess if one is A-sexual, thats how one would feel

 

[old.Tohtori]

it does though.

Then your partner is simply a friend with benefits. Ain't that "grand"?

By that definition.

I said being willing to have a relationship with anybody who would have sex with you would be pathethic....

Didn't say being able to live completely without sex was pathethic m8!

However, I do find that very strange, but I guess if one is A-sexual, thats how one would feel

Ah yeah, misunderstood it, and yeah, just a sex relationship is a completely different thing. Had some, and it's nice in it's own way when both know it's just that...but it never lasts, someone always falls for the other. Shame though.

I wouldn't call myself A-sexual, like said, i like sex and will have some if there's some to be had, but there's a difference in having and liking and in needing.

 

[Aoami]

Then your partner is simply a friend with benefits. Ain't that "grand"?

By that definition.

I believe that is the case, yes.

 

[soze]

How i view it is, I can be good friends with a girl hug her get the odd peck on the cheek and are very close but thats as friends, if we started sleeping together it would be a relationship. The sex actually changes it from a friendship to a relationship in my eyes.

 

[Aoami]

How i view it is, I can be good friends with a girl hug her get the odd peck on the cheek and are very close but thats as friends, if we started sleeping together it would be a relationship. The sex actually changes it from a friendship to a relationship in my eyes.

QFT

Could also edit it to say 'in any sane persons eyes' instead of 'my eyes'.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Ok then, if you want some definitive proof, go tell your "better half" that "I'm glad you're with me, it's just like being with a friend with benefits" or that "if we weren't having sex, i'd wlak out the door" and just see how long that woman be calm and collected at your a**.

 

[Aoami]

I just asked my right hand and nob but neither of them had an answer for me. Seriously though, not all women are prissy hormone machines. I've had relationships with both kinds.

Edit - Who really cares what the woman thinks anyway? You wouldn't say that. It's common knowledge that most woman are more emotionally involved than most men.

 

[soze]

So you think if i told my gf if we never have sex again our relationship is over and we will just be friends she will spiv out at me?

Im fairly sure when you break up and say lets just be friends everything else can continue bar the sex so the sex is a defining point of a relationship.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Edit - Who really cares what the woman thinks anyway? You wouldn't say that. It's common knowledge that most woman are more emotionally involved than most men.

I wouldn't say that 'cause i don't think it. But if you're afraid to say it, then you know it's not like that.

And men are mosty equally and sometimes more so emotionally involved. Which can be seen in breakups quite effectively.

So you think if i told my gf if we never have sex again our relationship is over and we will just be friends she will spiv out at me?

Im fairly sure when you break up and say lets just be friends everything else can continue bar the sex so the sex is a defining point of a relationship.

Try it if you don't think so.

Everything else WON'T continue. You won't be with eachother as much, you won't hold hands and hug like you did, you won't plan your futures and tell eachother every detail etc etc. Sex is not what makes a relationship a relationship.

 

[soze]

Try it if you don't think so.

Everything else WON'T continue. You won't be with eachother as much, you won't hold hands and hug like you did, you won't plan your futures and tell eachother every detail etc etc. Sex is not what makes a relationship a relationship.

I know as much about a old friend of mine as i do my girlfriend if not more so friends can share as much as in a realtionship. I will ask her but if i say "if we never have sex again we will be friends not boyfriend girlfriend" she will give me a wierd look and move on not dump me for being a hartless bastard just because i want sex every now and then.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I know as much about a old friend of mine as i do my girlfriend if not more so friends can share as much as in a realtionship. I will ask her but if i say "if we never have sex again we will be friends not boyfriend girlfriend" she will give me a wierd look and move on not dump me for being a hartless bastard just because i want sex every now and then.

Just tell her "If we don't have sex ever again, i'd leave right away."

If you say it like "Oh haha, you know if we never had sex, we'd be like friends", that's a whole different discussion.

If you really want to drive the point through, say "If i never wanted to have sex with you, would you be with me?" and see where THAT leads you.

Yes, friends may know alot etc etc, but you can't seriously say that the only difference with your friend and your missus is that you bang your missus. Because then what's the point? Convinient sex? You could jsut be friends and have loads of sex with whoever on the side.

And don't tell me "but i want sex with her" 'cause that would be just bullsh*t since sex would be sex would be sex with anyone compatible to that particular form of sex. If you say "but i make LOVE to her", it makes her something different then a friend.

 

[Aoami]

I wouldn't say that 'cause i don't think it. But if you're afraid to say it, then you know it's not like that.

And men are mosty equally and sometimes more so emotionally involved. Which can be seen in breakups quite effectively.

Fucking hell, have you ever understood a point someone is trying to make?

What i'm saying is it may not be like that for the woman, but it's like that for me. The woman might be in it for the more emotional aspect but as long as they get it who cares, if they didn't they would break it off with you. I'm never going to say 'if we stopped having sex etc etc' because A) The woman would spazz out and B) it wouldn't happen anyway. It's a fucking redundant debate anyway, and every argument you have put forward, [sarcasm]for a change [/sarcasm], has been completely wrong. And don't come out with any of that opinion bullshit because that fact of the matter is, sex is integral to a healthy relationship.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Fucking hell, have you ever understood a point someone is trying to make?

What i'm saying is it may not be like that for the woman, but it's like that for me. The woman might be in it for the more emotional aspect but as long as they get it who cares, if they didn't they would break it off with you. I'm never going to say 'if we stopped having sex etc etc' because A) The woman would spazz out and B) it wouldn't happen anyway. It's a fucking redundant debate anyway, and every argument you have put forward, [sarcasm]for a change [/sarcasm], has been completely wrong. And don't come out with any of that opinion bullshit because that fact of the matter is, sex is integral to a healthy relationship.

It's not opinion "bullsh*t", just because you feel like it, doesn't make it a standarized f*cking fact.

And don't start with that [sarcasm] crap either, if you have to retort to some "you're always like this and that" bull, then you're already grasping for straws.

How about you understand what i'm saying instead of telling me "you don't understand meeeeh!", i understand you completely, i just don't agree. Just because i don't agree with you, doesn't make my points "wrong".

EDIT: Or do you seriously need me to pat your back and say "that i agree on" every single time you make some point i agree on?

 

[Aoami]

99% of people in this thread agree with the YES argument, the other 1% consists of you. Does that not tell you anything? Ever? In every single thread where a debate arises?

 

[old.Tohtori]

99% of people in this thread agree with the YES argument, the other 1% consists of you. Does that not tell you anything? Ever? In every single thread where a debate arises?

When opinions are the matter, no. I can have my 1% different opinbion on a matter if i want. If 99% of this thread said jumping off a bridge should be done, and i said no, it wouldn't make it a good f*cking idea.

And it's not "every single thread", people agree with me also, just that because YOU don't agree, it's suddenly a problem.

So, if we're talking in general terms, sex in a relationship is dependent on the person, clean and simple, not YES or NO. Just what i've been saying.

I'm arguing the 100% YES points made, because i don't believe it's true.

 

[soze]

Just tell her "If we don't have sex ever again, i'd leave right away."

If you say it like "Oh haha, you know if we never had sex, we'd be like friends", that's a whole different discussion.

If you really want to drive the point through, say "If i never wanted to have sex with you, would you be with me?" and see where THAT leads you.

Yes, friends may know alot etc etc, but you can't seriously say that the only difference with your friend and your missus is that you bang your missus. Because then what's the point? Convinient sex? You could jsut be friends and have loads of sex with whoever on the side.

And don't tell me "but i want sex with her" 'cause that would be just bullsh*t since sex would be sex would be sex with anyone compatible to that particular form of sex. If you say "but i make LOVE to her", it makes her something different then a friend.

I will say to her "if we stopped having sex i would call what we have a friendship not a relationship" and see what she says. Im not going to say i would leave her just to piss her off as thats not wat im saying. I said having sex changed a friendship to a relationship. So you remove that it swings back.

My friend was my friend and has been for ages so i prolly know much more about her than the girlfriend. My girlfriend i met in a club and started dating and it turned into what it is now thats the difference.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I will say to her "if we stopped having sex i would call what we have a friendship not a relationship" and see what she says. Im not going to say i would leave her just to piss her off as thats not wat im saying. I said having sex changed a friendship to a relationship. So you remove that it swings back.

My friend was my friend and has been for ages so i prolly know much more about her than the girlfriend. My girlfriend i met in a club and started dating and it turned into what it is now thats the difference.

Well interested in any case what she says, even if it's a bit avoiding the issue because you don't want to piss her off. But, not out to ruin your relationship.

On the second part, not really what i was saying but...fair enough.

 

[soze]

Well interested in any case what she says, even if it's a bit avoiding the issue because you don't want to piss her off. But, not out to ruin your relationship.

On the second part, not really what i was saying but...fair enough.

Its not avoiding the point you are trying to make it more than it is to provoke a reaction what i said covers my view so its all i need to ask. I do not have to say "if you stopped fucking me id dump your arse quckier than the flash does the 100m" as thats just going to piss her off and comes across as insensitive where as saying a relationship needs sex is not.

For example if she was raped and was then scared of men/sex i would not dump her. If she just decided we do not have sex anymore then i would not view that as a relationship and would end things.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Its not avoiding the point you are trying to make it more than it is to provoke a reaction what i said covers my view so its all i need to ask. I do not have to say "if you stopped fucking me id dump your arse quckier than the flash does the 100m" as thats just going to piss her off and comes across as insensitive where as saying a relationship needs sex is not.

For example if she was raped and was then scared of men/sex i would not dump her. If she just decided we do not have sex anymore then i would not view that as a relationship and would end things.

Yes ofcourse it's up to the person to select the way it's siad, just trying to make sure that you don't "relationship careful" ask the question. As in, sugarcoat it too much. Your way seems fair enough middleground.

Your questio should provide the answer, well, from atleast ONE relationship.

And if she gets pissed off, blame it on me

 

[soze]

Will not be the first time she is pissed off at something i have said but tbh im sure she will be fine.

 

[Ctuchik]

if its a girl asking and we want to get laid, we have to say no.

but in the real world it does.

we just cant say that to our ladies because then they get the insane thought that we only want them for the sex. and that they look fat in that dress they love to wear.

 

[TdC]

we just cant say that to our ladies because then they get the insane thought that we only want them for the sex. and that they look fat in that dress they love to wear.

well, there is that ofc. but that's why they're ladies. us blokes on the other hand, get to look fat in whatever we wear, and only define things in sexual terms regardless of what it may be we're defining

 

[old.Tohtori]

well, there is that ofc. but that's why they're ladies. us blokes on the other hand, get to look fat in whatever we wear, and only define things in sexual terms regardless of what it may be we're defining

Tis would be a whole different discussion, but i fear my lord, the man-kind is growing weaker and pansier by the day.

Metrosexuals, moisturising construction workers, hairstyling barbarians...it's all very...ngh...female.

And yes, even in relationships i've heard of men who ask "what's wrong with me?" when braking up