Do you work for an airline?

[Brynn]

Did you a bloody favour. Helicopter flights offshore are designed as a way to increase the suicide rate.

May mates dad is a Helicopter Pilot. He flew the Lockerbie Bomber about. Said it was well scary, their was like 4 armed guards and the guy tied down in the back.

 

[Tom]

I flew Virgin to LA a few years ago, it was very nice of them to put lcd screens in the backs of all economy seats. You could also play nintendo, listen to the radio, watch several films, and even make phone calls, all with the same control.

My main gripe with most airlines is the crappy sized drinks they hand out. I want 330ml cans dammit! Although I usually stock up in WHSmith with lots of bottles/sweets/magazines.

If you can afford it, get some noise cancelling headphones and a portable DVD. For in-flight systems, lots of airlines have stupid propriatory headphone sockets now. I know Delta used to have airtubes, instead of an electrical system! It sounded terrible.

 

[Talyn]

So flying ain't that bad then?

I'm flying for the first time in life in about 14 hours time. Luckily it's only a short hop to Amsterdam, but I'm pretty much crapping myself about it...

 

[Gengi]

I, unfortunately, fly quite a lot.
Best advice is get half cut before boarding, pull the blanket over your body, put the seatbelt on the outside, fastened so the aircrew can see it, and crash before the taxi. Wake up as the breakfast, cup of coffee, light snack, depending on duration and timing of flight, comes round get of the plane happy as larry (albeit larry with a hangover). This actually only works coming and going to work, with the family in tow, make sure your spouse gets the seats with the kids and you are cast adrift in the back, make the right noises of sympathy and repeat as above but, get half cut on the plane.
I must disagree about helicopter flights and suicide increasing incidences, this is only true in 50% of the flights i.e. the ones going to work.

Later

 

[Gengi]

So flying ain't that bad then?

I'm flying for the first time in life in about 14 hours time. Luckily it's only a short hop to Amsterdam, but I'm pretty much crapping myself about it...

I fly on 6 aeroplanes and 2 helicopters every 30 days or so, its not really that scary.

Later

 

[Tom]

So flying ain't that bad then?

I'm flying for the first time in life in about 14 hours time. Luckily it's only a short hop to Amsterdam, but I'm pretty much crapping myself about it...

Its easy

Remember passport and tickets. Walk to the check-in desk with passport and tickets (the desk that carries your airline/flight number on the monitor above). Give the person on the desk your luggage. She'll give you your passport and boarding card, with luggage receipt stapled to it (and your return flight ticket if applicable). Then you go through into the departures lounge. Stick all your metalic stuff in your coat pockets, that way its quicker when you go through the detectors. Its only a short flight so don't spend loads in the shops. Keep an eye on the monitors for your flight number, when it says 'goto gate x' then do what it says, and wait for boarding. Show the person at the gate entrance your boarding card, she'll give you a receipt for it, and then walk onto the plane. If the flight is relatively empty, you can move to another seat once the seatbelt signs are out.

When you get to the other country, show the man in the booth your passport, collect your luggage, and Bob's your uncle.

 

[anattic]

So flying ain't that bad then?

I'm flying for the first time in life in about 14 hours time. Luckily it's only a short hop to Amsterdam, but I'm pretty much crapping myself about it...

The thing about the London (?) to Amsterdam run is that you spend more time in the plane on the ground taxiing than in the air - you're only actually flying for about 40 minutes. During which time, BA/British Midland/KLM try to feed you - this involves throwing a sandwich at you, waiting 2 minutes, then stealing back what's left.

One thing about Schipol airport - it seems to often get really foggy. As a result, to keep things safe, they delay shorthauls in favour of the longhaul traffic. So, if it's foggy, in my experience, you can get some fairly long delays.

 

[RandomBastard]

So flying ain't that bad then?

I'm flying for the first time in life in about 14 hours time. Luckily it's only a short hop to Amsterdam, but I'm pretty much crapping myself about it...

Just don't claim your a terrorist and you'll be fine.

 

[Deadmanwalking]

<Snip>

Thanks Uncle tom!

 

[weevil]

My family and I are flying to Orlando next August (I know - mad) with Virgin Atlantic. Unfortunately due to the million pound surcharge for posh class we have to fly cattle class so I was wondering if any of you forumites work for Virgin or know of any way I can get a seat by the exit - last time I flew Virgin my legs didn't work for two days.

A doctors note, saying I have chronic spine problems? (I haven't)
The name of the person to bribe?

Hey! Maybe you know how to get an upgrade!

I shall bring back a Breakfast with a Disney Character for any helpful soul.

u can do what my uncle does (who is a priest) is get a dog collar and put it on, they'll upgrade u just like that <snaps fingers>

 

[Lester]

Thx for the advice so far.

I can't ditch the kids. And I can't sleep on planes. I'm not dressing up as a vicar (not after what happened last time) So I guess I'll have to get there super early, look smart and beg. If that fails I'll have to take some sleeping tablets?

 

[Talyn]

Thanks all for your replies. I made it, and am now in the 'Dam having spent 2 nights 'enjoying' myself by various means.

What a cool city, even it is filled to the brim with dodgy geezers!!

The flight was fine, once up in the air, it just felt like being on a coach or a bus, with the odd bit of turbulance nudging us slightly, like going some bumps in road. I must say that I was praying to the god of physics not to let me down now, in more ways than one!!

By the time I left, it was dark, so managed to see lots of pretty lights on the ground. The flight back is daytime, so I may get a better view, hopefully. And I'll hope theres no fog at the airport.

Have fun all