Do you prefer the truth or sugar coated nonceness?

[Kryten]

Alright folks, this is something that's been getting me a while, and thought I'd find out how other people's minds work a little.

I get very, very annoyed at the way everyday things are all sugar coated when described by their advertisers and as a result, leave us still in the dark about the product's capabilities.
I'm a very blunt person, always have been, and I get on very well with likeminded folk who share the same no-shit approach to life.

For instance, Andrex likes puppies, puppies like andrex. It's soft, strong and long, so it's comfortable to wipe your arse with, you can wipe your arse with it a lot, and it's strong. Can it lift weights? Which of those marketing slogans is reassuring me the product is going to prevent against brownfinger? Or ply's that never stick together.

Domestos. It kills all known germs (Dead!) but will it shift those shit stains from the bottom of your bog?

Tampons and Sanitary Towels. At no point do "wings" mean anything useful. Are they perhaps in league with Red Bull? And fuck sake, Tampons with skirts now! Of course, as soon as any woman hits that time of the month, they feel an urge to pull on tight white jeans and play tennis, or run around jubilently, pouring blue liquid on one of these products.
What the fuck is the blue liquid? It ain't blood, and thats what it's for. So we're still in the dark about it. And any woman I know at that time of the month is more likely to run around ripping men's testicles off, rather than look happy and play tennis.

So what do you lot think? Do I just have a strange, dirty, shit-infested mind? Or does everyone else think things should be sugar coated a little less too?

 

[Bullitt]

Well I doubt a blunt advert of a woman spread eagled stating
"When your on the blob ram this up your snatch!"

Would get past the censorship lot. However it would rock, i've sprung a big rubbery one just thinking about it

 

[Kryten]

Good point well made - made me giggle though

 

[SilverHood]

I like to know the truth really. That said, Andrex is soft and lovely to use compared o ADSA's smart price bog rolls... which btw are rough and disintergrate if you've got the runs.

:kissit:

 

[Chilly]

Kryt, I'm not going to sugar coat it: you are a ****.

 

[Scouse]

On a side note. I tend to find that people say they want to know the truth but actually don't really.

The bigger the problem (not particularly on about advertising here) the more likely people will bury their heads.

It prolly works with advertising on a much smaller scale. Jam Rags would never sell but marketing products for one of the most un-sanitary of bodily processes by calling them "sanitary towels" works fine. Like it almost stops women dumping their womb out of their minge once a month

 

[Kryten]

I suppose - but as I said, this poll is to gauge each person and get a rough idea - I'm particularly blunt, and that's how I like people to be.
I think I only started thinking about this level of bluntness when the adverts for Vagisil (!) came about.

 

[Kryten]

On that note - I've always thought a catchy marketing slogan for Anusol would be "Anusol. You know exactly where to stick it."

I'm sure the English are broad minded enough to accept that these days

 

[Rubber Bullets]

Viz used to do a fine line in non sugar coating.

I found the ones above whilst searching for the one below, that has stayed with me all these years.

RB

 

[Kryten]

Brilliant, RB

My brother has bought some el-cheapo stuff from the corner shop - Dixcel Kittensoft.

How do they know? Have they wiped their arses on a kitten?

Now theres an idea...

 

[Mazling]

Leave the bloody kittens alone! Bloody activism.

 

[Alan]

 

[old.user4556]

Life in general, I want the honest truth. If I get lied to or if someone bullshits about something, I take an almost instant dislike to that person, plus it means you can never trust them.

That said, it seems to be human nature to lie.

 

[Bodhi]

I prefer ads like this

 

[Bodhi]

or this

 

[leggy]

I prefer ads like this

Absolutely superb.

 

[TdC]

I want to know the truth.

Those feminine hygiene advert things have irked me for years. Young, slim, laughing girls all wearing tight white shorts and actively going outside to do sports while it's that special time of the month? Fah! Whoever came up with that has clearly never been near a woman in his life!

 

[old.user4556]

I had sex with a girl last night who had the painters in. Messy.

 

[Ch3tan]

Thanks for sharing G.

 

[old.user4556]

No problem.

 

[Tricose]

hehe what i want to know is as andrex use puppies does that mean puppies are a good thing to whipe your ass with if no toilet paper is avalible

 

[dysfunction]

Probably. They are quite soft. Although they have a tendancy to wriggle about rather a lot so it could get messy.

But I suppose their tongues could give you that "Extra Clean" feeling


How about these adverts:

http://www.just-jokes.com/media/getimage.asp?s=fimages&f=adverts&fn=slimfast.jpg

http://www.just-jokes.com/media/getimage.asp?s=fimages&f=adverts&fn=lidl.jpg

http://www.just-jokes.com/media/getimage.asp?s=fimages&f=adverts&fn=nestle.jpg

 

[PLightstar]

A very valid point but you could argue the case that Ignorance (sry sp) is bliss, at certain times in my life i've learnt the whole blunt truth and wished I hadn't.

 

[Poag]

Although entirely unrelated to this thread, I got this for the google ads.


And thanks G, real info for the real life.

 

[Paradroid]

Alright folks, this is something that's been getting me a while, and thought I'd find out how other people's minds work a little.

I get very, very annoyed at the way everyday things are all sugar coated when described by their advertisers and as a result, leave us still in the dark about the product's capabilities.
I'm a very blunt person, always have been, and I get on very well with likeminded folk who share the same no-shit approach to life.

For instance, Andrex likes puppies, puppies like andrex. It's soft, strong and long, so it's comfortable to wipe your arse with, you can wipe your arse with it a lot, and it's strong. Can it lift weights? Which of those marketing slogans is reassuring me the product is going to prevent against brownfinger? Or ply's that never stick together.

Domestos. It kills all known germs (Dead!) but will it shift those shit stains from the bottom of your bog?

Tampons and Sanitary Towels. At no point do "wings" mean anything useful. Are they perhaps in league with Red Bull? And fuck sake, Tampons with skirts now! Of course, as soon as any woman hits that time of the month, they feel an urge to pull on tight white jeans and play tennis, or run around jubilently, pouring blue liquid on one of these products.
What the fuck is the blue liquid? It ain't blood, and thats what it's for. So we're still in the dark about it. And any woman I know at that time of the month is more likely to run around ripping men's testicles off, rather than look happy and play tennis.

So what do you lot think? Do I just have a strange, dirty, shit-infested mind? Or does everyone else think things should be sugar coated a little less too?

But remember you're talking about advertising here, it's never reality. Advertising's all about marketing your brand, and no matter how disgusting the subject, they'll want to project a good image of their brand.

They're selling you a future version of you, where/who you'd like to be (etc) ... selling you dreams (*sigh*).

I find the perfume adverts the worst - admittedly, they've got nothing to actually present in an advert, other than the image/brand (which is, quite literally, wrapped-up in pretentious packaging). If you're watching an ad with an absence of any tangible message, it's usually a perfume ad.

The Gillette ads are funny too, absolutely no reflection of my morning routine in the bathroom I can tell you (aside from the hot chick rubbing my face). The blades on my razor seem to go blunt really quickly these days, which leads me to wonder if maybe they do scoot around all day like mini-sports cars?

 

[Kryten]

Well exactly, most of my point was basically that we're not being given enough of an idea of a product's function or reason for being.

I can sympathise with the razor thing. 3 days and my Gillette Fusion is blunter than, well, me. After which I may as well use a cheese grater on my face

And perfume adverts - nnnngh. Most annoying one goes to Lacoste's A Touch of xxxx - because they're happily using exactly the same advert with different music for each product. One of them, they even altered the colouring a little.

"STICK THIS ON YER CHOPS - IT SMELLS NICE" doesn't quite cut it but things like perfume are surely more likely to be sold by word of mouth (or nose) than some pretentious stuck up advert with a hunky man/juicy lady dancing around like an audition for a tampon advert. "That smells nice, what is it?"

Alfa Romeo's advert is making me chuckle at the moment
"I bought it for the advanced engine and its management systems (Lie)"
"I bought it for it's good looks (Lie)"
"I bought it for it's comfortable ride (Lie)"
Yeah, they are all lying. Not one of them, if they had brains would have bought one. Alfa knows their reputation over here and trying to sort it with stuck up adverts like that isn't gonna help. If you want a reliable car, get anything else - if you want to look like a desperate hairdresser on a tight budget with a hint of gay and a lashing of possible penis enhancement, buy an Alfa. Oh, better renew that AA membership... you're gonna need it.

 

[Jupitus]

I buy disposable twin blade razors with a smoother thingy strip in sainsburys for about 2 quid for 10. Chuck em as soon as theyre getting even slightly blunt and use a new one. Who needs more than 2 blades anyway... what is this 'six blades slice your face up even neater' shit anyway?

 

[dysfunction]

I like my Mach 3 Gillette. Shaves better than the double blade ones...

Tried the Wilkinson Quatro and it was shite so i doubt I need more than 3 blades...

They do get blunt quite quickly

 

[NikonL]

Odd that, i've got a mach3, a quatro, and a fusion. 3,4,5 blades quatro is best by far. honestly the 5 fusion is the biggest heap of shit ive ever seen. it's all very well having a computer generated image of the hair being sliced to peices, but in reality i could shave over the same spot 4 times and there would still be stubble.

mach3 was good but it seemed to cut too harshly, and led to irritation. for some reason the quatro sorts both problems. different strokes.

 

[Chilly]

they are trying to turn the razor industry into something like the graphics card one

Now with 16 parallel KOOLBLADE blades with KOOLBLADE technology.