do you give your parents too much shit?

[haarewin]

the last time i told my dad i loved him? last time i spoke to him.
last time i told my mum? i honestly dont remember. i really appreciate everything mum did/does for me and my brother. i do love her, i just find it difficult to tell her because she reacts very differently to how someone should react to something. when i moved out, all i said was 'see you soon'. i feel guilty about that. i should tell her how much i love her. i'm seeing her on thursday so i'm gonna speak up then i guess.

 

[Rubric]

First, i'm going to talk about a sh*tty parent, sh*tty being a word i use loosely, as much harsher words should be used. But i'll be also talking the good one. You can take it to heart, skip it, do waht you will, but i find if i tell it and one person might change their way of treating their kids, or one kid will appreciate their parent more, it's worth the sh*t i got.

In hindsight, is the operative word i might use here.

First my mother, bless her, was a wonderful woman. No bad word could be used. In hindsight. When i was growing up, a teenager wants what he wants, and i did give unneeded grief and worry. Everytime, i apologized as soon as my temper cooled. There was never big arguments, ones that last, between us and all in all she was a blessing that i only really appreciate now. Always with a word of wisdom, some that i use to this date, and always appreciative and willing to learn about my way of life and even now, respects my choice in religion(she's a preacher of sorts herself).

She and my father split up when i was just getting to my teen years, and as she was keen on studying, she would spend the weeks at schools on other cities, being home again on the weekends. My life 14-16 was free at the weeks, and it made me grow faster, and in hindsight, it made me who i am and a better person.

Me and my little brother, two years younger then me, lived the weeks as teenagers would. Friends over, parties, and all that normal stuff, but i always told about it and kept it honest. And she didn't mind, afterall, she was a bit of a wildchild back in her days.

As i said, her methods of raising kids might not be conventional, leaving us alone during schoolweeks, but it worked and we always had our older brother around too, for adult supervision. Nothing better then three brothers living a considerably free life.

If i could do it agian, i wouldn't change anything, except appreciate more what was given, and enjoy the freedom more without so much worry and complaint.

Now then, this is the part most might want to skip:
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My father, when i was growing up, ages 0-9, he seemed fine enough. Normal dad stuff, but what do kids know. He was a drunk, and it was just funny for a lil kid, except when him and my mother had fights. We would bail out of the apartment with my lil brother then, well, in hindsight, did good for brother to brother bonding i guess. He wasn't a saint even then, later i heard he cheated on my mother dozens of times, in the first year of marriage alone. Among other things.

As i got older, and remember more, also i realize what a complete waste of life my father was. His fun time was to beat the crap out of us when he was drunk. One time, i got my head hit into a counter for being 5 minutes late. The other, got a beating for having the flu and coughing at night. that was just the tip of the iceberg. If i could tell you how i really felt for him, i would, but there is no word deep enough, filled with enough loathing and hatred, that i could use. Sure, he could be a good father at times, when he was sober for 5 minutes, but even then he didn't fail to mention our shortcomings. I had it, luckily for my brothers as i could handle it better and without too much emotion(learned that quickly), the worst as i'm a diabetic. Guess he felt i was a letdown, who knows, but i got every strict rule in the house kept even more strict. Probably thought he was "protecting" me. WEird way i'd say. And as such, punishment would ensue. Feeling safe at home was not a luxury i felt when my father was around.

He had an accident, where he lost a part of his memory and went a bit "iffy", when i was 17 or so. In a "care home" now, and i never visit, never call, never will. If i could be so nice, i'd say he's only dead to me.
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So that's the story of my parents.

In hindsight, it was good that we lived alone(weekdays) with my brother, as it made our bond stronger and taught life in a great way. I grew up faster, and liked it as teenage stuff never really appealed THAT much to me and my brother could grow up in peace with a watchful eye that understood more then a mother/father could i suppose.

In hindsight, my father being who he was, well, he made me so that's a + ofcourse, and i for one, got a rolemodel beyond all rolemodels, who not to be. If i live my life as he didn't, i bet i can, and according to many people, can be a great example.

Bit of a rant there, but well, worth telling it.

/salute

I need to spread some rep around apparently

Brave to post that here.

 

[Heta]

for some reason I feel the english phrase "I love you" is less loaded and I could see myself saying that much easier then the swedish phrase "Jag älskar dig"

 

[Amphrax]

Me and my Dad dont get on and it got to the point where I wanted to slit his throat during the night.

I have a brother and my dad always picked him before me and my Dad also told me that I was a mistake and he wished I was dead.

Quite a long story and I'm sure this isn't as bad as most other stories but what the hell.

Amphrax/Arauddry

 

[old.Tohtori]

/salute

I need to spread some rep around apparently

Brave to post that here.

Thanks, even though it was actually quite easy.

You see, i regard any person who effects my life more then "a ship in the night", part of my life, as much so as my family. My family is, in simple terms, friends i've known longer. I'm not even sure if i love them, i care for them and their safety, but honestly, anything i would do to/for my family, i would do for most of the members on this forum. Ofcourse setting the whole "this person comes before this" thing.

Heck, if Gamah even needed help and the only way for me to help was to sell my TV or something, i'd probably do it.(not regarding fraud, or other bull)

So i have little, if any, problem telling anything about my life. I'm like that towards any person really.

On the other hand, i don't tell other peoples stuff forwards. That's just wrong. I keep even the smallest thing anyone tells to myself, and don't even get me started on gossip So if i hear something on these forums, even if a public forum, i wouldn't tell it forwards.


Didn't mean to go off-topic too much, don't bite my head off

 

[Sparx]

I never had time to be a teenager i was off to the army at 16

 

[CorNokZ]

Was that because you were struggling with your sexuality?

Yes.. Then in one of our many arguements, my mother told me to go screw a goat and so I did!

Been loving goat ever since

 

[Huntingtons]

i told you she was mine! *slap* I CHALLENGE THEE!

@ heta
to me english is less personal so maybe it becomes easier to say things when its in english

@ toh.

I know some people who are so tight knitted with their family that they see them as friends. i see family as family, maybe thats why i love them - but that doesnt mean i can (dare/will) tell them everything (although i probably could)

 

[tris-]

No chance

what if you were asleep, then she crawled onto your face and shit in your mouth, and you choked on it

 

[Imgormiel]

I only have a mom left, and i only see her about once every six months, if that's shit then i guess i am a shit

 

[Calaen]

what if you were asleep, then she crawled onto your face and shit in your mouth, and you choked on it

omg the thought.

 

[Huntingtons]

is kinda hot?

 

[Ormorof]

im sure all of us here have grown up as a teenager at some point (unless your an alien that doesnt follow our grasp of time). obviously in those teenage years we give shit to our parents for no reason, we expect the world and give nothing in return, and generally treat them like shit.

probably even now you might hold minor grudges against them or they do something that annoys you, but should we really stay annoyed? i know personally my parents probably wasted so much money trying to make me a happier teen etc, for useless crap like computer games and computers and through all of it i probably never even seemed grateful.

sometimes my parents do piss me off, but i cant really dwell on it for longer than 10 seconds. imo, for everything youre parents did for you (assuming they wernt complete shit), you have no right to be pissed of at all.

if youre parents were and are useless, you can click back because this post wont ring true to you at all. for the rest of us lucky enough to have good parents, do you agree at all re: being pissed off at them?

the word shit featured a lot in this post, my vocabulary is total shit :/

my parents are legends, they are awesome, occasionnaly make me mow the lawn but i can live with that for free meals and stuff alls summser

guess im lucky to have amazing rent's who only demand that i dont make a complete tit of myself in life (and if i did they would probably still help, as they are awesome )

 

[tris-]

my parents are legends, they are awesome, occasionnaly make me mow the lawn but i can live with that for free meals and stuff alls summser

guess im lucky to have amazing rent's who only demand that i dont make a complete tit of myself in life (and if i did they would probably still help, as they are awesome )

same here. my mother used to ask me to the mow the lawn, but then i just started doing it every 2 weeks. she used to pay me 20 quid a time too to mow the back and front. it kept me smoking pot (which they know full well about) but after the second time i just started doing it for nothing.