do you give your parents too much shit?

[tris-]

im sure all of us here have grown up as a teenager at some point (unless your an alien that doesnt follow our grasp of time). obviously in those teenage years we give shit to our parents for no reason, we expect the world and give nothing in return, and generally treat them like shit.

probably even now you might hold minor grudges against them or they do something that annoys you, but should we really stay annoyed? i know personally my parents probably wasted so much money trying to make me a happier teen etc, for useless crap like computer games and computers and through all of it i probably never even seemed grateful.

sometimes my parents do piss me off, but i cant really dwell on it for longer than 10 seconds. imo, for everything youre parents did for you (assuming they wernt complete shit), you have no right to be pissed of at all.

if youre parents were and are useless, you can click back because this post wont ring true to you at all. for the rest of us lucky enough to have good parents, do you agree at all re: being pissed off at them?

the word shit featured a lot in this post, my vocabulary is total shit :/

 

[Raven]

When i lived with my mum i gave here loads of shit, we didn't really get on, until i moved 150 miles away. we get on really well now, moved back to my home village after six years away, live opposite my mums place now

 

[kirennia]

When i lived with my mum i gave here loads of shit, we didn't really get on, until i moved 150 miles away. we get on really well now, moved back to my home village after six years away, live opposite my mums place now

Raymond?

 

[pikeh]

like ive said before
coming and living away from my parents made me realise how much they do for me
i guess when you live with them 24/7 its easy to take what they do for granted. i remember being pissed off with them a few times, but nothing too major.
the truth is , i wouldnt have been able to survive at uni without my parents. they have always helped me out of shit situations that were my fault, they never got angry at me and have always said they are proud of me doing whatever i want to do. guess its really hard saying it to them, but i love them and want to say thankyou all the time to them.

thats me being soppy.

 

[tris-]

guess its really hard saying it to them, but i love them and want to say thankyou all the time to them.

thats me being soppy.

yes i agree, the only time i can say it is in writing. so usually in the birthday cards and mothers/fathers day.

 

[Bugz]

I think I took it all for the granted until they split. Then I realised how much my mum does do for us all and how she always manages to find time, money or advice for us all. Sometimes, I don't even know where the money she lends out or spends on us comes from.

 

[old.Tohtori]

First, i'm going to talk about a sh*tty parent, sh*tty being a word i use loosely, as much harsher words should be used. But i'll be also talking the good one. You can take it to heart, skip it, do waht you will, but i find if i tell it and one person might change their way of treating their kids, or one kid will appreciate their parent more, it's worth the sh*t i got.

In hindsight, is the operative word i might use here.

First my mother, bless her, was a wonderful woman. No bad word could be used. In hindsight. When i was growing up, a teenager wants what he wants, and i did give unneeded grief and worry. Everytime, i apologized as soon as my temper cooled. There was never big arguments, ones that last, between us and all in all she was a blessing that i only really appreciate now. Always with a word of wisdom, some that i use to this date, and always appreciative and willing to learn about my way of life and even now, respects my choice in religion(she's a preacher of sorts herself).

She and my father split up when i was just getting to my teen years, and as she was keen on studying, she would spend the weeks at schools on other cities, being home again on the weekends. My life 14-16 was free at the weeks, and it made me grow faster, and in hindsight, it made me who i am and a better person.

Me and my little brother, two years younger then me, lived the weeks as teenagers would. Friends over, parties, and all that normal stuff, but i always told about it and kept it honest. And she didn't mind, afterall, she was a bit of a wildchild back in her days.

As i said, her methods of raising kids might not be conventional, leaving us alone during schoolweeks, but it worked and we always had our older brother around too, for adult supervision. Nothing better then three brothers living a considerably free life.

If i could do it agian, i wouldn't change anything, except appreciate more what was given, and enjoy the freedom more without so much worry and complaint.

Now then, this is the part most might want to skip:
------------------
My father, when i was growing up, ages 0-9, he seemed fine enough. Normal dad stuff, but what do kids know. He was a drunk, and it was just funny for a lil kid, except when him and my mother had fights. We would bail out of the apartment with my lil brother then, well, in hindsight, did good for brother to brother bonding i guess. He wasn't a saint even then, later i heard he cheated on my mother dozens of times, in the first year of marriage alone. Among other things.

As i got older, and remember more, also i realize what a complete waste of life my father was. His fun time was to beat the crap out of us when he was drunk. One time, i got my head hit into a counter for being 5 minutes late. The other, got a beating for having the flu and coughing at night. that was just the tip of the iceberg. If i could tell you how i really felt for him, i would, but there is no word deep enough, filled with enough loathing and hatred, that i could use. Sure, he could be a good father at times, when he was sober for 5 minutes, but even then he didn't fail to mention our shortcomings. I had it, luckily for my brothers as i could handle it better and without too much emotion(learned that quickly), the worst as i'm a diabetic. Guess he felt i was a letdown, who knows, but i got every strict rule in the house kept even more strict. Probably thought he was "protecting" me. WEird way i'd say. And as such, punishment would ensue. Feeling safe at home was not a luxury i felt when my father was around.

He had an accident, where he lost a part of his memory and went a bit "iffy", when i was 17 or so. In a "care home" now, and i never visit, never call, never will. If i could be so nice, i'd say he's only dead to me.
------------------


So that's the story of my parents.

In hindsight, it was good that we lived alone(weekdays) with my brother, as it made our bond stronger and taught life in a great way. I grew up faster, and liked it as teenage stuff never really appealed THAT much to me and my brother could grow up in peace with a watchful eye that understood more then a mother/father could i suppose.

In hindsight, my father being who he was, well, he made me so that's a + ofcourse, and i for one, got a rolemodel beyond all rolemodels, who not to be. If i live my life as he didn't, i bet i can, and according to many people, can be a great example.

Bit of a rant there, but well, worth telling it.

 

[Mikah75]

i'm the youngest out of 4 so i was always the littleun in the background when my sisters and brother were rebelling or sneaking out or stumbling home drunk and got a bollocking which kind of led them to shelter me from a lot of things and never really had opportunities when i was alot younger. which then led to a mutual trust and ive never done anything wrong which is why i was spoilt and had complete independance as ive always been good, done as they asked, helped around the house etc which im very grateful for.. my siblings have always been jealous and still are as although im 20 in december im still seen as the baby of the family so like tris and pikeh said its hard to thank them so it usually comes down to presents/cards on those particular days

 

[Lamp]

Just echoing Tris's words. This isn't relevant for those people who hate their parents etc. For those who are still with me...

Pissed off at your parents ? You have to realise that your parents are as human as you are. They get fed up with you just as much as you get fed up with them. But remember this: don't hold grudges. Cos when they die, you'll do anything just to see / speak to them for just 5 minutes more. Tell them you love them to their face. It'll be too late when they die. And when they do your entire world will collapse around you and you'll miss them every single day until the day you die.

Had a LOT more to say, but don't wanna start any arguments with certain regulars here so I'll say no more.

 

[tris-]

the last time i told my mother i loved her was nearly 5 months ago, and ive never told my dad. we never hug either, except on birthdays.
not sure what the prob is, but none of the 3 of us can show affection except in cards
that doesnt mean there isnt affection there, i simply go with the thought that its implied regardless if its said or not.

lamp, i think you should say waht you were gonna say. if someone doesnt like it, fuck em.

 

[Huntingtons]

you're bound to give your parents crap - they do what they believe is right and best for you, you do what you believe in right and best for yourself. conflicts ensue - but they are older and often right in their own way. i sometimes feel bad that i dont tell my dad how much i love him, feel bad that i somehow let him down because im not as much as i could be but its rare that we had real quarrels when he wasnt drunk

 

[old.Tohtori]

Just echoing Tris's words. This isn't relevant for those people who hate their parents etc. For those who are still with me...

I wasn't gonna say anything about it, but calling those who don't have the nice parents, childs(mom and dad talk comment) and "not fit" for this discussion, is just ...not good.

People can contribute to it, people can tell how they feel, people can learn from what others tell. Not to start an argument, just saying that opinions and stories, examples and such, can come from other sources too.

But, that aside, you should say all you want on the subject. This is one subject people don't thread lightly and i don't think anyone would have the audacity to be a moron here.

 

[Laddey]

I know what you mean, but you havn't met my dad, which is good. Trust me!

He can be a complete asshole to everybody. The ammount of things he done in the past are untrue.

I love him though, he'll always be my dad but we just don't get on!

 

[Vladamir]

Gave my parents far too much shit when i was younger.

Suprised i didn't get kicked out or sent to boarding school tbh

 

[Mikah75]

the last time i told my mother i loved her was nearly 5 months ago, and ive never told my dad. we never hug either, except on birthdays.
not sure what the prob is, but none of the 3 of us can show affection except in cards
that doesnt mean there isnt affection there, i simply go with the thought that its implied regardless if its said or not.

i have quite the same situation i only really say i love them in cards for their birthday etc, i hug my mum and kiss on the cheek when i leave to go somewhere, like going back to uni but dont ever remember hugging or sharing affection with my dad... not like we dont get along or anything just dont show emotion to one another

 

[Bugz]

To give more food to though on quite a sensitive topic.

Should the actions of the present take over the actions of the past? If your mum/dad was a loving mother/father up to an event or the point they left your household or whatever, and then turned into a royal arsehole - should you commend them for their actions still or live on the way they have acted as of late?

 

[tris-]

i have quite the same situation i only really say i love them in cards for their birthday etc, i hug my mum and kiss on the cheek when i leave to go somewhere, like going back to uni but dont ever remember hugging or sharing affection with my dad... not like we dont get along or anything just dont show emotion to one another

nah dont even do that. went on holiday for 2 weeks in june (paid for by them), was a simple cya later and i jumped in the car and fucked off.

 

[Lamp]

lamp, i think you should say waht you were gonna say. if someone doesnt like it, fuck em.

No way. You know what its like on this forum. You say one thing, and the entire thread gets ruined, hijacked, and turned into a pointless childish flame war.

Back on topic, that was a really nice post, Toto Must have been hell living with a drunk father. Can't imagine what it must have been like.

 

[tris-]

just post it lamp tbh

anyone who flames on such a topic is only going to reveal how much of a twattish fucker they are.

 

[Bugz]

You know what its like on this forum. You say one thing, and the entire thread gets ruined, hijacked, and turned into a pointless childish flame war.

But his gone now?

 

[tris-]

To give more food to though on quite a sensitive topic.

Should the actions of the present take over the actions of the past? If your mum/dad was a loving mother/father up to an event or the point they left your household or whatever, and then turned into a royal arsehole - should you commend them for their actions still or live on the way they have acted as of late?

if in the past the person was a dick but now is acting in a none dick way, i believe everyone has their shit times, the past is the past and you take someone for what they are now.

if in the past the person was a none dick, but now they are a dick, i believe you remember them for how they were and hope to fuck they change back.

 

[Lamp]

But his gone now?

As incredibly annoying as Gamah was, he isn't the only person who throws insults and ruins threads. But this is not the time or place for pointing fingers. For once, lets keep this [highlight]ON TOPIC[/highlight] please.

(Lamp for Mod)

 

[tris-]

heard somethin quite distressing a while ago actually.
friend of mind text me saying her mother just got diagnosed with some kind of cancer of the cervix/womb/ etc and my friend had driven into the middle of no where and didnt know what to do. then she told me her mother said something like "we wont be able to go shopping together anymore", which really caused a lot of distress for her.
but it does show its the stupid stuff that when it comes down to it, is what was important. to me going shopping with my mother isnt anything great, but its obviously something they can now no longer share.

though i will every so often suggest to my mother we go out for coffee or something, she always pays which is a bonus, means i can get the most expensive thing going.

 

[Congax]

No, I don't give them any shit at all.

They trust me completely so I'm quite free in going and doing whatever/wherever I like. I was raised quite well so I damn well know how to stay within boundaries and never really do anything 'bad'. (Sure, the occasional drinking and stuff, but aslong as I manage to get home, they're happy )

 

[Calaen]

Grew up in a single parent environment, Mother gave the world to me, never really argued or anything. I have serious issues with emotions when it comes to family. I feel quite sad sometimes when I think about what I should be feeling. Cause when it comes to my family I find that I unless someone is saying something bad about them I have noi stirring of emotion towards them at all. I know I love my mother and because if her I have a deep respect for any single parents out there.

Since I have became a father I suddenly find myself missing my daugther at every second of the day when she is not around. Now I dont know whether or not this is because since I was a teenager I could not wait till I settled down and started a family that was going to have a father figure that was there for them to lean on and gain advice from.

I rarely cry sometimes when I watch a bizarre movie or something, but the mere thoought of climbing into bed tonight knowing my baby is in Ireland and is not going to wake me uo makes my eyes well up. From my experience growing up I hope to pass on my growing up over to them in a mannner which will allow them to become the person they want to be without any fear of me or their mother thinking bad of them.

I guess I have strayed off topic sorry about that, just started typing.

 

[CorNokZ]

No, I don't give them any shit at all.

They trust me completely so I'm quite free in going and doing whatever/wherever I like. I was raised quite well so I damn well know how to stay within boundaries and never really do anything 'bad'. (Sure, the occasional drinking and stuff, but aslong as I manage to get home, they're happy )

My parents are the same tbh..

A year or two ago I argue'd a lot with my parents, but the last year or so, we've been coming along really nicely

 

[Congax]

A year or two ago I argue'd a lot with my parents

Was that because you were struggling with your sexuality?

 

[Heta]

Telling your parents you love them? do people actually do that?

I've threatened to hit my father in the head with a hammer, that's about as close to a huging him I've come

My mother tries to hug me from time to time, but it usually manage to avoid it happening, I really can't stand people touching me

 

[Huntingtons]

i think its quite common for people not showing affection to their parents (especially guys to fathers). its quite easy to tell your girl that you love her but telling your father is... well... hard to find the correct time even though you (or at least me) love my father deeper than most things in the world (along with my brother). maybe its not something that needs to be said?

and calaen - i dont think anybody can understand the feeling parents have untill the very moment they become it. could your baby girl (although she still is a baby) do anything in anyway whatsoever that would make you NOT want to love her or have contact to her?

 

[Calaen]

and calaen - i dont think anybody can understand the feeling parents have untill the very moment they become it. could your baby girl (although she still is a baby) do anything in anyway whatsoever that would make you NOT want to love her or have contact to her?

No chance