Do or I or don't?

Mey

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I'm leaving my current town to go back home in a months time (job promotion) my ex broke up with me just before i finished uni, she's still at uni (aka still in the town im leaving).

The question, she broke up with me with a classic line and i was pretty wounded from the whole affair for a long time, I feel like i've moved on now but theres always that little thought in the back of my head that prevents me from starting new relationships properly (i've dated a few folk but nothing serious / official).

Do I ask my ex the real reason why or do I just let sleeping dragons lie, baring in mind this could very well be my last opportunity to put my own thoughts to sleep once i've moved out of town.
 

old.Tohtori

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I'll quote an old poet on this;

IT DOESN'T MATTER!! why she left you, the end result was the end.

I never understood the need for reasoning it all, it's not like it changes anything and most the time only makes you feel worse about yourself.

Time to move on, leave sleeping dragons snore and all that.

Nothing will change by opening old sh*t and a lot can just get worse. The reason you're not commiting is most likely the slamdamn end of a relationship, preenting you to risk another such incident.

That, is irrational and should get over it because it's silly ;)
 

Raven

Happy Shopper Ray Mears
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The real reasons can only be the following.

She met someone else/started looking elsewhere.
She didn't want to be with you any more.
She didn't want a relationship.

None of which you can do much about, move on. Fresh start.
 

Mey

Part of the furniture
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Fair advice tbh! I guess I just feel like I need to finish all my business here before I can truly move on!
 

old.Tohtori

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Fair advice tbh! I guess I just feel like I need to finish all my business here before I can truly move on!

Can relate, was like that a long time. Needed to talk everything through and through, until i realised A: doesn't change anything and more importantly B: I relly don't care :D
 

Zenith.UK

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Go for a coffee with your ex under whatever pretext you can come up with.
Say you're going to be going back home with a new job and just want to say goodbye.

You need to hear it from her in clear unequivocal language. You don't necessarily need chapter and verse, or even like the answer, but you need to know without question that the door is shut and there is no chance of going back.

Everyone here has said the same thing. Get over it, move on. I disagree.
I've been in your exact same situation and I know how it gnaws away at you until you can get rid of it. Get closure, and then you can move on.
 

old.Tohtori

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HE's not looking for closure on the relationship though, just on the reason it ending.

Also he's moving back to the town where said ex is now(hometown sweetie).
 

ilaya

Can't get enough of FH
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leave it well alone. you have a job, she's at uni.. she'll just bleed you dry.

with money from promotion. drink beer, fuck women, send her postcards
 

Punishment

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I was in the same situation my ex left me in her 2nd year in uni for someone she was in the course with while i was working, just as well it happenned then as i was gonna buy her a car :p

She changed alot from when i 1st met her tho she was very shy and i think i brought her out of herself so selfowned i guess hehe.

As said above though she made the decision herself to look elsewhere and acted on it so the horse has already bolted and i think from my life view going back to an old relationship from a new one would be a step backwards for anyone and even if she would have had me back i wouldnt have been interested
 

Mikah75

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Do you have any communication with her currently? I had the same kind of issue with a guy and it just stopped all of a sudden when we were inseparable however when I moved to Kent from Scotland we got friendly again and were always texting/calling just like good mates and one day I just asked... turned out as I thought was because he was back at uni a good 2 hours away and didn't think fair on either of us to start anything due to the distance and free time we both didn't have..Put my mind at rest :)

Until it all started again and the feking ersehole did it all over again a few weeks ago! But nevermind :p I am over it.
 

Himse

Resident Freddy
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Jan 31, 2004
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NOOOOOOOOOO.

Don't say a word. It'll just lead to an arguement. Just move on, i've made this mistake!
 

Cerb

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I'd leave it personally. The itch might be there to find out but tis better thatn the pain when you pull off the scab and find out what was behind it.

Just my opinion ofcourse. Do what you think you need to.
 

Lamp

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Sometimes life's a dogshit sandwich & you just gotta take a big bite

Move on & put it behind you.

And don't forget to brush your teeth.
 

Ezteq

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Jan 4, 2004
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what they all said tbh, knowing why doesn't undo it or make things hurt less, there are times i think knowing why might help but it doesn't.

enjoy your new turn in life!!
 

Huntingtons

Resident Freddy
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Jan 19, 2004
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Fair advice tbh! I guess I just feel like I need to finish all my business here before I can truly move on!
do a prank call tbh, Anchorman style preferably. That always clears my system
 

Roo Stercogburn

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Dec 22, 2003
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If you need to ask her, you're not over it. I'd be for moving on to a new life and let physical distance help build the emotional distance needed for equilibrium to return.
 

bainteor

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Ask her? It seems as though it's praying on your mind. If you found out the reason I think it would be easier to move on. Just my opinion.
 

eksdee

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The truth is you never really, truly get over someone you loved (or thought you loved). You 'get over' it by meeting someone new. You will love that person in a different way - be it for a 'better' kind of love, or simply different, or lots of different types of lust (;)).

As has been said - move on. Life's too short.
 

Sparx

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Def go the Anchorman route, call her up and tell her your her doctor...
 

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