Depression

[leggy]

And nobody laughed at him either.

 

[tris-]

wasnt intended to be a joke, thats what i thought it was :\

 

[leggy]

wasnt intended to be a joke, thats what i thought it was :\

Heh

It's an easy mistake to make though. Driving certificates are often used as a treatment for chronic depression.

 

[TdC]

from what I hear about roads in the UK, I'd get depressed if I had to drive on them

 

[old.user4556]

Well I will come clean about this, but the girl in question is this girl i've been seeing (girlfriend then) for the past five months. She suffers from anxiety and depression, her grandmother was bipolar and her mum is also depressive. The mother makes things very difficult as it is, compounding the problem.

She ended it with me on Tuesday, but it was getting to the point I couldn't take it any more regardless of how much I tried to understand her and to support her and was wanting to call it off myself.

It's been this way since day one, and for about 4 weeks everything seemed great (lots of sex), but then as I got to know her she started to just drop off all contact (but i didn't care at the time, because it was fairly casual anyway), then get back in contact again saying "sorry needed some space - hey! how are you?". But as I got closer to her, and stayed more in touch, I started to get exposed to violent mood swings and the need for "space" more often.

I saw her during one of her anxiety "episodes" and it was truly disturbing to witness someone with such a completely different personality, totally unwilling to even touch me. Then, it would blow over and everything would be back to normal. And then suddenly, it would happen again. She came clean and said that although she liked sexual intimacy, that she had to put pressure on herself to do it because she wanted me to like her. For about two months, she said that she just "wasn't there just now" sexually but that was not a reflection on me.

It's been a total nightmare of an emotional rollercoaster for the past five months, and I would beg anyone to be careful when considering getting involved or into a new relationship with someone that has anxiety/depression, because it'll fuck you up. You think you can "fix", "help" or "understand" them, but sadly they only turn against you or withdraw from you.

When we were good, we were great, but her constant problems with her mother and her persistent unhappiness just made it unworkable. She told me she couldn't hurt me anymore with the way she behaved, and that was that. She told me she tried so hard to be in love with me (as much as she liked), but she can't. I think she needs to learn to love herself, needs to allow the happiness to come from within, needs to learn and deal with her depression - because if she doesn't, she'll go from relationship to relationship with the same things happening over and over. It's almost as if she really wants to be this loving and happy person, but I can see the conflict of emotion when she breaks down into tears and see that it's all a front. It's heartbreaking.

It's a weird/difficult illness, she could be so emotionally blank and emotionally detached that when she was low, she seemed to lash out like she didn't give a toss about me or our relationship, saying extremely hurtful things to me and then when she calmed down she admitted she didn't know what she was saying at the time.

I've tried to tell her, so hard, that she has to go to the doctor again, or to get some help or it could ruin her life and wellbeing, but I suppose I need to accept that it's not my problem anymore. Friends and family have dubbed her a "lunatic", but i don't find that constructive.

 

[mycenae]

thats shit for you G, I'm sorry. I had an inkling that she was more than just a 'friend' when you first posted. As i posted before, going to see your doc/GP/ counsellor is pointless unless you actually want to change. Unfortunately, these things are hereditary, and you're right, her mum isn't going to help things. Sounds like you're best away from it mate, as much as its heart breaking to leave, sometimes it can be more so to stay.....

 

[old.user4556]

I should have got out after the first flake out, it stank of issues then. I'm cool about it actually, i feel a lot less stressed and can enjoy life again.

Strangely, we have never argued, or fought, or got on badly at all; and like i say, when we were good we were so good together.

But then, her personality would become that of a completely different person and she would perhaps be a little bit obnoxious then (aren't all girls), but still we didn't fight or ever fall out.

 

[JBP|]

You should watch Betty Blue before you enter into another relationship.



Although it might be too late now.

 

[old.user4556]

This is a psycho too many, maybe I should take a psychologist out with me before I chat up any girls. Sorry, i shouldn't call her that but I can't begin to describe how insane things have been recently.

My partying advice to her was not to get into a relationship again (to which she agreed) until she saw a doctor (to which she also agree) and did some growing up, because she'll just carry this shit on. Worse still, she might piss off the wrong guy, or a total stalker who will pursue/stalk her and bombard her with texts/calls when she has a "disappearing" episode.

Poor girl, it's a damn shame for her but I can't help her anymore.

 

[Pfy]

I've tried to tell her, so hard, that she has to go to the doctor again, or to get some help or it could ruin her life and wellbeing, but I suppose I need to accept that it's not my problem anymore. Friends and family have dubbed her a "lunatic", but i don't find that constructive.

This is a psycho too many

Quite. Anyway, I generally found that the lashing out was to do with trying to take control of the life you feel you have no control of (why can't I be happy, I want to be happy etc) by pushing people away and ending the relationship you think you'll lose becaue you're depressed / a burden etc on your own terms.

All the time you're hoping that no matter how much you push they won't go, although at the same time hoping they will so as to prove what a waste of space you are and so you can carry on repeating the self loathing cycle.

You hate yourself for being depressed and not being able to 'cope' but again feel that theirs nothing you can do. My experience of depression was that it was all just one big contradiction.

Anyhow, I personally went tothe doctor, got anti depressants which seemed to have a more placebo effect than anything. I also went to counselling and found it to be amazing. The feeling of smiling uncontrolably when I left my first session was fantastic and seeingly well over due.

As with any illness you have to want to be helped and again, with the self destruction which I found came with the depression a litle bit of you doesnt want to be better.

I found it hard to cope with being happy and even now still look for things to make me glum as this is a feeling I'm more comfortable with.

Anyhow, this is probaly all a bit higgledy piggledy so, sorry for the boring reply

/me goes back to trolling.

 

[Xtro]

I found it hard to cope with being happy and even now still look for things to make me glum as this is a feeling I'm more comfortable with.

Well the PS3 is out today.

 

[MYstIC G]

Heh, pld X.

 

[Pfy]

Well the PS3 is out today.

I don't get it. Is it to do with the PS3 being crap or smmt? anyhow ...

 

[throdgrain]

Seriously, and yes I am pissed, but do you think that internet forums are dominated , or at least heavily populated by depressed types who see it as some form of communication with the world ?
Its never occured to me before, but every time (every bloody time tbh) one of these threads comes up, its heavily used by LOADS of people , which at first made me think the whole bloody world except me was depressed, and then subsequently made me think that its just internet users who are.
True or not true ? Good or bad? Should I even be here or not?
Answers on a postcard






































Yes no doubt I will regret this post, like so many other 11pm + posts, but a forum like this is meant to reflect what you're thinking at the time perhaps, instead of a well thought out pointless arguement, so no matter what I think tomorrow, I stand by what I say today,and well, BOLLOCKS

 

[old.user4556]

There is a link to heavy internet use and depressed teenagers. Or some shit like that.

 

[Will]

Its very easy to express your problems on the faceless interweb. Also, depressed and anxious people tend to not go out a lot, and hang out on the interweb too much.

 

[rynnor]

Its very easy to express your problems on the faceless interweb. Also, depressed and anxious people tend to not go out a lot, and hang out on the interweb too much.

Plus exercise is a natural anti-depressant and slothing around on your pc all day = less exercise.

Plus youll be fat pale and unhealthy and thus have more to feel depressed about

 

[Will]

Funnily enough, I sorted out my mental problems about the same time I got really into mountain biking.

 

[old.user4556]

Looks like it's not depression.

All the symptoms point to Borderline Personality Disorder. Apparently it's a serious mental illness and very difficult to treat.

(apparently it co-exists with depression)

 

[mank!]

as diagnosed by a doctor?

everyone has borderline nowadays. it's the new black.

 

[TdC]

Mank has the right of it I'm afraid

 

[tris-]

All the symptoms point to Borderline Personality Disorder. Apparently it's a serious mental illness and very difficult to treat.

nah, im sure you can get surgery or pills to stop women getting the painters in every week.

 

[mank!]

that wasn't supposed to sound cuntish i swear but bpd does appear to the cool thing to have at the moment.

 

[old.user4556]

No, not as diagnosed by a doctor/psychotherapist, but she does know there is something really wrong with her and she needs to go to the doc el pronto.

I think out of utter despair and desperation and speaking to a therapist because it fucked me up so much, it was the conclusion because a lot of the symptoms and her behaviours (which I've excluded a lot of on here because the smart arse cnuts on this forum would make smart remarks) tie in exactly. Also, I've been in contact with those on the receiving end of diagnosed BPD who are receiving therapy and they've said that her behaviour was very similar and in some instances exactly like their diagnosed BPD.

It is only a suspicion, and sadly Mank is right; it does almost appear to be fashionable (at least on the internet anyway). Noone I know in person has heard of it (And I never knew what it was until I started reading a lot of books and websites on psychological problems / personality disorders).

In 26 years, I've met a lot of odd people and some very weird people; but never anyone that was as psychotic and emotional fucked as she was. You need to have seen it for yourself to believe it.

 

[old.user4556]

nah, im sure you can get surgery or pills to stop women getting the painters in every week.

Funny tris-, but this really isn't funny.

 

[tris-]

Funny tris-, but this really isn't funny.

im sorry

 

[old.user4556]

Don't be sorry!

Just saw the google add "Seratonin capsules!" - might buy some, grind them up and snort them.

 

[throdgrain]

as diagnosed by a doctor?

everyone has borderline nowadays. it's the new black.

Heh 5 years ago you would have SCREAMED at me for making that statement mate

 

[DaGaffer]

...which I've excluded a lot of on here because the smart arse cnuts on this forum would make smart remarks....

No offense G, but if you ask for opinions on this (or any other) forum, what do you expect? Those who like hanging out their dirty laundry on a public forum should expect to get their washing power criticised (stretching and breaking the metaphor there).

 

[old.user4556]

Which is why I never posted it, did you not read that bit?

Anyway, poor lass. Hope she sorts it out.