Daring Rescue

L

~Lazarus~

Guest
[Shamelessly ripped from another forum]

On a tour of Scotland, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the North coast near Aberdeen on an impromptu sightseeing trip.

His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an English Rugby jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty-foot shark. At that moment a speedboat
containing three men wearing Scottish rugby tops roared into view from around the point.

Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore.

It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the beach. Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Scotland and England, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could
serve as a model on which other nations could follow."
He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that???!"
"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct
contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f--- all about shark
fishing.

How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"
 
K

Kempo

Guest
hehe heard it before :)

Aberdeen does not have any golden sandy beaches any where near it tho :|
 
X

xane

Guest
Originally posted by old.Kemposaur
Aberdeen does not have any golden sandy beaches any where near it tho :|

and of course the smegging obvious inaccuracy of a pope promoting racial harmony goes unnoticed ;)
 
K

Kempo

Guest
sorry but the lack of sandy beaches in aberdeen is really a bit more important wouldnt you say?? ;)
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
does Scotland have Sharks? (Not man eating) ? lol
 
C

Cheeko

Guest
Don't think so, i think there are basking sharks but they are found all-round the uk waters
 
W

Wij

Guest
Argh - there are Scottish ppl in here ?!? :eek6:

*throw cans of Tennants Bastard and Kezzy Super as distraction*
 
F

Furr

Guest
i really dont give much thought to the Scots, im all the way in the south east, and their all the way up north somewhere. The limit of my first hand knowledge of places north of london stretches to loughborough and thats only cause i went there for its openday as its gonna be my Uni.
 
L

~Lazarus~

Guest
Originally posted by Wij
Argh - there are Scottish ppl in here ?!? :eek6:

*throw cans of Tennants Bastard and Kezzy Super as distraction*

/me thwaks Wij with a lump of decaying Haggis :twak:
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
lol, ive not had Haggus for years... makes my stomach turn :eek6:
 
K

Kempo

Guest
i really dont give much thought to the Scots, im all the way in the south east, and their all the way up north somewhere. The limit of my first hand knowledge of places north of london stretches to loughborough and thats only cause i went there for its openday as its gonna be my Uni.

you're not related to jade are you? :|
 
J

JohnyWishbone

Guest
Originally posted by furofknight
i really dont give much thought to the Scots, im all the way in the south east, and their all the way up north somewhere. The limit of my first hand knowledge of places north of london stretches to loughborough and thats only cause i went there for its openday as its gonna be my Uni.

hehehe Loughborough = North , thats funny m8. A guy I work with rang the helpdesk to log a fault with his P.C (the HD is based in London). When he told her he was in Newcastle, she asked which part of London was that :)) he said "North London dear" just goes to show where the world starts and ends.
 
N

Nibbler

Guest
Waitagoddamnsecond. Super_Gray is a diety now? WHAT IS THIS, BIZZAREO LAND?


I can see these forums have fallen apart without me.
 
C

caLLous

Guest
Well, you've been away for like, 6 years... What did you expect? :(
 
M

Munkey-

Guest
hmm. well if your going down the beach its either a) for the ballroom b) the golf course where all the plauge people were buried or c) for the chippies down there.


though your ultimatley better off going to stonehaven for the chippies


edit: just read the bit about haggis :p


seeing as I'm scottish everyone automatically assumes I eat wierd stuff. Hence why i scared the lot of em when we were disecting kidneys and bulls eye balls
 

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