Crap super powers

[swords]

We've all hear of superman, spiderman lots of other men with awesome super duper powers! But what about those unsung heros of our world, whos powers have been overshadowed... What about the crap superheros!?!?!?!

Can you design a crap superhero? Bob, who can fly 'a bit' but has a paralysing fear of heights? What about the unlucky guy who turns everything he touches into Graham Norton? (shudder)... How crap can you make it? (note: Saying the name of a poster doesn't count, unless its justified!).

 

[Ezteq]

Dave the van driverman!!

has ultra sandwich, can of coke and steering wheel handling abilities.
turns bright red and has vein bulge on side of head when angered
can burp up to E in the alphabet
when fuelled correctly can clear a room with one gust of "wind of fury"
has the unwavering knowledge that he is always right, about everything, all the time.

he is Dave VanDriverMan!!!!

 

[Huntingtons]

the g33k
speaks l33t
can type 1000 words per minute
a powerful rofl that paralyzes but he has sociaphobia

 

[swords]

Captain Spoik... worthy

 

[Gamah]

Captain strobe!

He's the amazing Captain Strobe...he can fire strobe lights out of his body...however, he suffers from epilepsy!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Captain Spoik... worthy

You really love that word eh

Hmm. Crap Superhero...*looks around* Teh Seel?

 

[swords]

Its ace! What super powers does Teh Seel have?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Its ace! What super powers does Teh Seel have?

Umm...can annoy anyone with inane babble, is fluffy(in some way) and cute as a button

Also has the "great" ability to make picture instructions for anything

 

[swords]

Thats pretty crap, you're in!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Thats pretty crap, you're in!

Woho! I aer ein supawhewo!! TAn da daaaaa! *tries to fly but falls on face*

 

[Bahumat]

Captain Spoik... worthy

Haha, god knows what my powers are, but my blood is Type-O negative

 

[tris-]

Captain strobe!

He's the amazing Captain Strobe...he can fire strobe lights out of his body...however, he suffers from epilepsy!

lol

Also has the "great" ability to make picture instructions for anything

can you make me some step by step instructions for making a tulip spliff?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Haha, god knows what my powers are, but my blood is Type-O negative

You can tell really really bad jokes?

 

[swords]

You know, the thing which surprised me is how hard it is to come up with a decent crap superhero. This is realy a challenge, come people, get the grey matter working! We need crap and we need it now!

 

[Killswitch]

How about Pkill The IT Assassin? He has the power to make computer software or hardware crash at will, anywhere on the globe. Of course, he's only compatible with Windows operating systems...

 

[Krait]

Inflaterman

He'll never let you down.



bah,that was crap.

 

[Bahumat]

Isn't there someone like

"Computer Boy, he can do anything with a computer, but he's scared of going outside"...

 

[Rigga Mortice]

Teh Waffler!

 

[tris-]

Inflaterman

He'll never let you down.



bah,that was crap.

oh my, lol.

 

[Bahumat]

Math Guy - Who has to sit there an work out all the possibilities his actions will cause. Unfortunately, due to a difficult calculator, by the time he's worked them all out, the evil has come and gone?

 

[Bahumat]

haha Mystery Men was funny

 

[Bahumat]

Super Suction Cup Man, after a freak accident is left with a suction cup for a face. can stick himself anywhere but then cant move, so a bit useless really

 

[Levin]

Captain Midas.

Everything he touches turns to gold, including food.

 

[Bahumat]

Teh Waffler!

you'll know this one....

Invisible boy, he can only go invisible when no one's looking at him.

 

[Bahumat]

Vodafone Man, he can trace any call...as long as he's got a signal!

 

[Bahumat]

Ice Man - He is so cold he freezes anything he touches...has not been mobile for 24 years. Some say he's waiting for Burn Lady

 

[Bahumat]

Mobile Speed Camera Man - he'll catch you if you dont see him first

 

[Huntingtons]

burnt face man - he's not gay!*

*credit to Fat-Pie.com :: Animation and stuff by David Firth

 

[Overdriven]

Jonathan Nipplous.

His nipples can extend to great distances.... That's about it, can't do much else with them

 

[swords]

A man with the uncanny ability to attract members of the opposite sex, yet suffers from 'brewers droop' at the most inoportune moment.