>> > Corporate Lesson 1:
>> > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
>> > finishing up her
>> > shower, when the doorbell rings.
>> > The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
>> > downstairs.
>> > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
>> > door neighbour.
>> > Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800
>> > to drop that
>> > towel,"
>> > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
>> > towel and stands naked
>> > in front of Bob.
>> > After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
>> > leaves.
>> > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
>> > upstairs.
>> > When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who
>> > was that?"
>> > "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
>> > "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about
>> > the $800 he owes
>> > me?"
>> > Moral of the story: If you share critical information
>> > pertaining to
>> > credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
>> > may be in a position
>> > to prevent avoidable exposure.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 2:
>> > A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
>> > She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to
>> > reveal a leg.
>> > The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
>> > the car, he
>> > stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>> > The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>> > The priest removed his hand.
>> > But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
>> > again.
>> > The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm
>> > 129?"
>> > The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is
>> > weak."
>> > Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
>> > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>> > look up Psalm 129.
>> > It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
>> > find glory."
>> > Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
>> > your job, you might
>> > miss a great opportunity.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 3:
>> > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
>> >
>> > are walking to
>> > lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
>> > They rub it and a Genie comes out.
>> > The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
>> > wish."
>> > "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
>> > "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
>> > without a care in the
>> > world." Poof! She's gone.
>> > "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be
>> > in Hawaii,
>> > relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
>> > endless supply of
>> > Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's
>> > gone.
>> > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
>> > The manager says, "I want those two back in the
>> > office after lunch."
>> > Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
>> > first say.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 4:
>> > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
>> > A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
>> > nothing all day
>> > long?"
>> > The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
>> > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
>> > rested.
>> > A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>> > Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
>> > you must be sitting
>> > very high up.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 5:
>> > A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>> > "I would love to be able to Get to the top of that
>> > tree," sighed the
>> > turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
>> > "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied
>> > the bull. "They're
>> > packed with nutrients."
>> > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
>> > gave him enough
>> > strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>> > The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
>> > the second branch.
>> > Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly
>> > perched at the top of
>> > the tree.
>> > Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
>> > out of the tree.
>> > Moral of the story: Bullsh * t might get you to the
>> > top, but it won't keep
>> > you there.
>> > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
>> > finishing up her
>> > shower, when the doorbell rings.
>> > The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
>> > downstairs.
>> > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
>> > door neighbour.
>> > Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800
>> > to drop that
>> > towel,"
>> > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
>> > towel and stands naked
>> > in front of Bob.
>> > After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
>> > leaves.
>> > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
>> > upstairs.
>> > When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who
>> > was that?"
>> > "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
>> > "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about
>> > the $800 he owes
>> > me?"
>> > Moral of the story: If you share critical information
>> > pertaining to
>> > credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
>> > may be in a position
>> > to prevent avoidable exposure.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 2:
>> > A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
>> > She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to
>> > reveal a leg.
>> > The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
>> > the car, he
>> > stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>> > The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>> > The priest removed his hand.
>> > But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
>> > again.
>> > The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm
>> > 129?"
>> > The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is
>> > weak."
>> > Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
>> > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>> > look up Psalm 129.
>> > It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
>> > find glory."
>> > Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
>> > your job, you might
>> > miss a great opportunity.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 3:
>> > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
>> >
>> > are walking to
>> > lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
>> > They rub it and a Genie comes out.
>> > The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
>> > wish."
>> > "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
>> > "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
>> > without a care in the
>> > world." Poof! She's gone.
>> > "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be
>> > in Hawaii,
>> > relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
>> > endless supply of
>> > Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's
>> > gone.
>> > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
>> > The manager says, "I want those two back in the
>> > office after lunch."
>> > Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
>> > first say.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 4:
>> > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
>> > A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
>> > nothing all day
>> > long?"
>> > The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
>> > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
>> > rested.
>> > A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>> > Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
>> > you must be sitting
>> > very high up.
>> >
>> > Corporate Lesson 5:
>> > A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>> > "I would love to be able to Get to the top of that
>> > tree," sighed the
>> > turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
>> > "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied
>> > the bull. "They're
>> > packed with nutrients."
>> > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
>> > gave him enough
>> > strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>> > The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
>> > the second branch.
>> > Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly
>> > perched at the top of
>> > the tree.
>> > Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
>> > out of the tree.
>> > Moral of the story: Bullsh * t might get you to the
>> > top, but it won't keep
>> > you there.
