confidence at its worst...

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cosmos

Guest
I think I can relate to what you are saying.

"Dont give a shit what people think" is probobly one of the hardest things to do ever. Infact I am in envy of anyone who genuinlly doesnt care, although someone who doesnt is probobly a complete wanker.

I can have epic conversations on irc etc and not mumble a single word in 'real life' sometimes. It's weird I wasnt like this before I got into gaming but lets not go there ;)

Unfortunetly I have not found a quick fix solution yet, although every now and then I do something pretty brave/cool/whatever which makes me think im getting there. If just once you think 'oh fuck it' and say whatever is on your mind it will make you feel alot better for a while.
 
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mel-

Guest
try not being such a boring person, take up an interesting hobby or something. don't mention "that time we tookover a chan and got g-lined, and omg.." etc.

or you could just find out what she's interested in and take and active interest in getting to know her?

oh, and, shower at least once a day.
 
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Scooba Da Bass

Guest
Originally posted by cosmos
I think I can relate to what you are saying.

"Dont give a shit what people think" is probobly one of the hardest things to do ever. Infact I am in envy of anyone who genuinlly doesnt care, although someone who doesnt is probobly a complete wanker.

I can have epic conversations on irc etc and not mumble a single word in 'real life' sometimes. It's weird I wasnt like this before I got into gaming but lets not go there ;)

Unfortunetly I have not found a quick fix solution yet, although every now and then I do something pretty brave/cool/whatever which makes me think im getting there. If just once you think 'oh fuck it' and say whatever is on your mind it will make you feel alot better for a while.
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THink of the people you are with in real life, the same way you do people on IRC. Just as you wouldn't mind PMing someone you don't know, it's not a bad thing to approach someone and talk to them, regardless of whether they are female or male in a social situation.

If you don't do all the stereotypical trying to pull things in the case of girls, they will not mind talking to you. And since you both say you're good on IRC, I assume you're relatively good at talking, It's exactly the same in real life, and you must think of it the same. Chatting to people is a fantastic way to pass the time, and to be apprehensive about it is terrible.

I'm currently very seriously involved with someone, however, I still talk to girls when I'm out, obviously, being taken changes my attitude slightly, but I'm still pretty much the same, I just talk as if I'm talking to a female whom I've known for a while.

Don't be afraid to be a bit cheeky, most people will not mind at all, and don't think you have to 'steel yourself' to talk to people. If you just march over and start talking without thinking about it, you've already done the single hardest thing there is in getting to know someone, the introduction. Hell, don't be afraid to brazenly lie, as long as it's a funny lie. I spent one night of a fresher's week telling every girl I went up to I was a captain in the Polish navy and then taking the conversation from there, I ended up with the phone numbers for about 80 girls that night.

Just get out there and go for it, the worst thing that can happen is that she won't want to talk, and if she doesn't, you probably don't want to be with her anyway.
 
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anonomous

Guest
Originally posted by cosmos
I think I can relate to what you are saying.

"Dont give a shit what people think" is probobly one of the hardest things to do ever. Infact I am in envy of anyone who genuinlly doesnt care, although someone who doesnt is probobly a complete wanker.

I can have epic conversations on irc etc and not mumble a single word in 'real life' sometimes. It's weird I wasnt like this before I got into gaming but lets not go there ;)

Unfortunetly I have not found a quick fix solution yet, although every now and then I do something pretty brave/cool/whatever which makes me think im getting there. If just once you think 'oh fuck it' and say whatever is on your mind it will make you feel alot better for a while.
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so cool to know im not alone... :) cheers for bring that up cosmos






Originally posted by mel-
try not being such a boring person, take up an interesting hobby or something
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i have lots of hobbies.... :D , i play hockey for a start... but shall try taking an interest in things that interest her aswell
 
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anonomous

Guest
thats some cool talking Scooba Da Bass :D , im feelin more confident already.. except i just know, my mind will go blank and i'll literally be speechless lol
 
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SLiC3R-

Guest
:/

Get some new clothes, a new look (but don't go over the top), and you'll generally start to feel better about yourself.

The thing is - you're both in the same vote so just think "fuck they are insecure - and i'll be the more talkative person" and it should sort of work.

Try out new things, don't leave the same smelly underwear on for days, shower, get out and get the sun - make new friends that havn't got a clue about computers - thats what i do.

Basically - just fucking go out and don't give a shit. 15 year olds are the most insecure of them all. The girl will be insecure too - just don't try to hard and talk about ANYTHING. ANYTHING, and once you've talked, it gets easier.
 
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SLiC3R-

Guest
Every mother fucker is insecure - it just depends on how they express it.

Go make conversation, you see someone you know and say "hi ya" and just be cool. it will be hard but it will get easier. "how r ya?" "what ya up2?" "where u off to now?" "good day?" "cool, you going out at weekend or anythin"

all types of shit.
 
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anonomous

Guest
gah, so easy... :)

perhaps my primary school didnt cover social topics :p

thanx, it all seems to be looking up for me, just havnt put it into practise yet, shall phone my m8s up right now, and see if they wanna goto town, im sure i can meet some cool strangers :D
 
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SLiC3R-

Guest
go to the gym - get a tan - listen to new upbeat music and change stuff so u feel better. u can still do the other stuff like games, shit music, etc. but just in MODERATION, as a pass time, and not as life.

computers are shit. trust. when you are a confident fucker - life is so good.
 
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SLiC3R-

Guest
ask them to play football, go to gym, check out new music, fucking anything - but get out of the house.
 
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Skyler

Guest
Be your own person, make sure you stand up for what you believe in and dont become a sheep. You have your own interests and know what you like, stick with that, why start pretending you like something else to please someone else ?

There are people who like the same things you do around, its just a matter of finding them, I'm not saying dont talk to who you know unless they like what you like, but make sure you know that you are yourself and you have your own interests, this is the best way. I wouldnt curb my life around other peoples interests just to "fit in" ;)

I probably said that wrong but oh well :D
 
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SLiC3R-

Guest
self-confidence is in the mind. people creat confidence by the way (they think others) see there hair, there clothes, the way they look, moove, walk, strut, talk.

the best way is a trying way - you'll get there in the end m8.
 
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Scooba Da Bass

Guest
Originally posted by SLiC3R-
self-confidence is in the mind. people creat confidence by the way (they think others) see there hair, there clothes, the way they look, moove, walk, strut, talk.

the best way is a trying way - you'll get there in the end m8.
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Yes, but having the hair, the clothes, the walk, whatever is just a prop, same as your bollocks about getting a tan, and going to the gym. You only need that if you're actually insecure. I'll go and chat to a fine lady dressed in a pair of paint covered combats, an old hoody with holes in and a pair of grubby kung fu slippers, I'll probably get her number as well, simply because I'm a great conversationalist, and have a talent for empathy.

You don't need to look like anything, since conversation is about your mind, and nothing else. You've got a good mind, go use it.
 
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anonomous

Guest
interesting, ill stick with my image, just a hair cut, and express my voice, which is usually struggle at aswell, cheers
 
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SLiC3R-

Guest
scooby - shutup man :|

The guys obviously insecure - and my thought for him as for a lot of 15 year olds is to change things and the way he looks physically so that he looks good - thinks he looks good - acts good etc.
 
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Shocko

Guest
Re: :/

Originally posted by SLiC3R-
make new friends that havn't got a clue about computers - thats what i do.
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So they won't allready know what a twat you are? :)
 
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anonomous

Guest
i can look good anyway, its probally just how i think other people see me
 
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SLiC3R-

Guest
lots of people have fit g/f's and live with a "prop" and "act", but they still pull, and still get fucked.

At the end of the day - the girls gonna prefer a guy who looks good, as opposed to a greesy cunt.
 
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Sawtooth

Guest
You could try to ignore her and treat her like shit. Never worked for me but hey its a strategy.

Alternatively try getting her to do all the talking. Basically ask her about herself. Who doesn't like talking about themselves?
She'll think you are really interested in her and it saves you having to be witty and places the burden of conversation on her.

There's no trick that I know. If you dont have opinions on anything then its about time you started having them. Read the papers watch the news, perhaps become vegetarian, turns some people on apparently, maybe they are into flatulence?
 
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Scooba Da Bass

Guest
Originally posted by SLiC3R-
scooby - shutup man :|

The guys obviously insecure - and my thought for him as for a lot of 15 year olds is to change things and the way he looks physically so that he looks good - thinks he looks good - acts good etc.
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So rather than fixing the root of the problem, ie a supposed insecurity, you suggest hiding it behind 'trendy' clothes? Marketing mooks must love you.

lots of people have fit g/f's and live with a "prop" and "act", but they still pull, and still get fucked.

At the end of the day - the girls gonna prefer a guy who looks good, as opposed to a greesy cunt.
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You're confusing the following;

"Cheap tarts", ie girls who look for guys who mistakenly think emporio items are designer, and who will sleep with a guy based on his aftershave.

and

"Women", ie girls who are genuinely interesting, have personalities, and the like.

Maybe when you cease being such a little twat you'll realise there's a difference. It probably won't happen, but maybe one day eh?
 
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Summo

Guest
Ease up there guys! You're both right.

Anon - Slap a new shirt on and feel smart about the way you look, and then go out and talk to people just for the sake of taking an interest in another human being.
 
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mel-

Guest
rofl.

please, don't change yourself to the extreme. that's like saying to yourself that you "aren't good enough". obviously, as you said, it's a confidence issue.

scooba da bass is on the pulse.
 
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Mellow-

Guest
... and remember lads, if you ever see a girl standing on her own in a bar/club always use the following line

"I see you've brought all your friends" :D

(remember to smile slightly though, or you'll get slapped)
 
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old.Kez

Guest
You're all schmucks.

Infact I am in envy of anyone who genuinlly doesnt care, although someone who doesnt is probobly a complete wanker
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I'm told by all who meet me that I'm this sort of person. On both counts.
 
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