Closing the deal..

[Mey]

So then you go out to a club/bar and you get chatting to a girl, you exchange numbers and act or gentlemanly how do you close the deal..

Tonight I ended up with the taxi option (not the best) what are you tricks to the bed / bus tomorrow option

 

[old.Tohtori]

You mean "how do you get the girl for some naughty?" or "how do you provide transportation?"

 

[Mey]

Fuck knows, attack of the dry mouth, seminar in one hour, head pounding...

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

how do you close the deal,

*Disclaimer

(please be advised that i in no way condone the use of drugs to make women pass out so you can live out your sick perverted fantasy that involves sheep, dogs and next doors cat)

 

[soze]

I sing the following

Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show 'em to me
Cause you've got a nice head
And you look pretty honest
So me face'll be leavin' in quart of an hour
I'd like you to be on it

Spoiler

Kev's Courting Song.
Blown to much of me time
Buyin' Dinner and Wine
And me money on flowers and lollies
Only to find
That what's on me mind
Isn't on hers and she's sorry
So I've made up some lines
That save wastin' time
And keep me from blowin' me brass
I'm ever so cool
I just prop on me stool
Right next to hers and I ask

Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show 'em to me
Cause you've got a nice head
And you look pretty honest
So me face'll be leavin' in quart of an hour
I'd like you to be on it

You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila
And the bullshit you gotta go through
Like callin' her up
An' tellin' her you love her
When all that you'd love is just a screw
But she wants to hold hands
And meet her old man
And sit around for hours and talk
But me new method is, you just cut through the shit
And get down to the goodies straight off

Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show 'em to me
Do you sleep in the nick
Do you give head very often
If we can decide you place or mine
We can fuck off then

You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila
An you'd give a weeks pay to hold her
Don't sit actin' dumb
Just front her full on
and drop a few lines that I told ya
This new method of mine
Doesn't work every time, but then again no method does
I've been spat at and slapped
and need in the nackers
But then I've got a few fucks as well

Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show 'em to me
If the answer is no
to me questions above
Then be a good sport and give me the name
Of a girlfriend who does

 

[Bahumat]

Just show her a picture of your penis all flacid. Then another one rock solid with the caption "Take it or die". Then show her a picture of your best mate with no skin on his face.

 

[pikeh]

Just show her a picture of your penis all flacid. Then another one rock solid with the caption "Take it or die". Then show her a picture of your best mate with no skin on his face.

Fucking spread rep blah blahhh

 

[Bahumat]

Fucking spread rep blah blahhh

I love it when an Essex man comes together

 

[Lamp]

I love it when an Essex man comes together

Because lets face it, an Essex girl has a limited vocabulary

"Lakeside"
"Drinks"
"He's got an enormous cock"
"Paris Hilton"
"Wayne Rooney is so attractive"
"When I grow up I want to be like Jodie Marsh"
"Harder"

 

[Bahumat]

Because lets face it, an Essex girl has a limited vocabulary

"Lakeside"
"Drinks"
"He's got an enormous cock"
"Paris Hilton"
"Wayne Rooney is so attractive"
"When I grow up I want to be like Jodie Marsh"
"Harder"

You're like Gordon Brown of the smut world!

 

[Manisch Depressiv]

So then you go out to a club/bar and you get chatting to a girl, you exchange numbers and act or gentlemanly how do you close the deal..

Tonight I ended up with the taxi option (not the best) what are you tricks to the bed / bus tomorrow option

Buy her more drinks next time.

 

[russell]

Seriously tho Mey, its a good Q -what works? Surely nowadays its not all grinding up behind a lovely (see other thread)

One night stands, that I had eons ago, were all about alcohol, chemistry and honesty ie 'I want you -what the hell, lets do it' kinda stuff.

Has it really changed that much?

 

[Manisch Depressiv]

Seriously tho Mey, its a good Q -what works? Surely nowadays its not all grinding up behind a lovely (see other thread)

One night stands, that I had eons ago, were all about alcohol, chemistry and honesty ie 'I want you -what the hell, lets do it' kinda stuff.

Has it really changed that much?

:wub:

 

[old.Tohtori]

Seriously tho Mey, its a good Q -what works? Surely nowadays its not all grinding up behind a lovely (see other thread)

Whatever works for you works.

No one way no way to teach it, every situation changes and some disco b*tches don't get it until you happyslap them with it

 

[crispy]

Wanna go back to my place? Y/N?

 

[Huntingtons]

i usually bring forms for them to fill.

 

[russell]

mmm forms.... fworrrr

 

[Huntingtons]

you see. it makes the ladies purr like kittens.

 

[Shagrat]

I find asking them for a blood test to use in my portable std kit seems to be a mood killer, so dont do that.

I would say be yourself, cause chicks dig honesty, but then again, some girls like blokes that are complete dicks so, erm, I dont know really.

Fuck knows how I ended up married, I always was shit at chatting up girls. I wish I could teleport my consciousness from now, back into the me I was at 19, cause I am much more confident that I ever was back then.

 

[russell]

Dont we all Shagrat... dont we all...

 

[crispy]

I find asking them for a blood test to use in my portable std kit seems to be a mood killer, so dont do that.

I would say be yourself, cause chicks dig honesty, but then again, some girls like blokes that are complete dicks so, erm, I dont know really.

Fuck knows how I ended up married, I always was shit at chatting up girls. I wish I could teleport my consciousness from now, back into the me I was at 19, cause I am much more confident that I ever was back then.

Why so old?

 

[Chronictank]

Fuck knows how I ended up married, I always was shit at chatting up girls. I wish I could teleport my consciousness from now, back into the me I was at 19, cause I am much more confident that I ever was back then.

qft

 

[liloe]

Wanna go back to my place? Y/N?

I say that so often …

Spoiler

… to my roommates (6 of them women 8 total). Actually quite a good joke when other ppl don't know you