Clipboard People

Whipped

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This is starting to get more and more annoying. Everyday I have to spend my lunch hour walking past about 10 of these to get to the sandwhich shop. And then again I have to work my way through the minefield of, "Can you spare a quick 5 mins for <Insert charity organisation/some other bollocks>"

One day soon every single one of them is going to get a resounding "FUCK OFF!!" from me.

Anyone else have this particular annoyance in your home town?
 

xane

Fledgling Freddie
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Quick solution - carry a clipboard.

Only answer them if they agree to your questions first, then make them as lurid and impersonal as possible, i.e. "what is the largest thing you have ever inserted into your anus ?" etc, with luck you'll not make it past the first question (although you'll be in big trouble if they do answer that one).
 

Covenant

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Whipped said:
This is starting to get more and more annoying. Everyday I have to spend my lunch hour walking past about 10 of these to get to the sandwhich shop. And then again I have to work my way through the minefield of, "Can you spare a quick 5 mins for <Insert charity organisation/some other bollocks>"

One day soon every single one of them is going to get a resounding "FUCK OFF!!" from me.

Anyone else have this particular annoyance in your home town?
Any time I go anywhere in London in a suit. They're all over the place.

What really gets on my tits is when I get repeat hassles from the same charity/research organisation/whatever on the SAME STREET, not 50 metres from when I was last accosted by some spotty student/doddering old git.

Not that I'm ageist, but it gets right on my tits.

I feel your pain.
 

Panda On Smack

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Where abouts Whipped?

cant say ive ever seen many poeple asking questions. dont go into town very much though to be honest so maybe thats why!
 

babs

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Those are the easiest though.

'Oh, yeah, I just gave some money to your friend down the street there *points*'
 

Vae

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They all tend to be employed by agencies to get people to sign up for Direct Debit donation schemes etc for whatever charity employs the agency so aren't actually involved with the charity at all.

If they are market research people I like explaining that my time is valuable and asking if they going to pay me for it? :flame:
 

Cdr

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heh

I remember walking thru the streets of Lincoln, when I got stopped by one of these personal injury company reps.

'Excuse me sir, have you had an accident in the street in the last 5 years?'

'No'

'Have you had an accident at work?'

'No, I dont work'

'Oh, what have you been doing?'

'Ive just finished a degree at Uni'

'Did you have a job while at Uni?'

'No'

'Oh, okay....Have you ever been injured at all that wasn't your fault?'

'No'

(noticing the scar on my forehead)

'How did you do that?'

'I fell thru a glass door when I was 18months old'

*laughing* 'I think that might be out of the time period for claims'

'I know.'

'So, what course did you do at Uni?'

'Law.'

His face was an absolute picture.

'Oh, well, I suppose I dont need to tell you all this...'

'No, you dont'

'Thanks for your time.'
 

Gef

Fledgling Freddie
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Yeah I live/work in Cheltenham, the high street is littered with them. There are ALWAYS at least 3 different charities with maybe 3 people for each one, its like trying to navigate a minefield, plot the best route to the sandwich shop to avoid passing within 2 meters of one.

Reminds me of that Trigger Happy TV scetch, like 6am in the morning, guy in a suit walking down a deserted street with about 20 clipboard people lined up either side.
 

Trem

That there, that's not me.
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Them - Excuse me sir can you spare a few minutes.

Me - No, fuck off.
 

leggy

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Clipboard person :- Excuse me can you spare a few minutes?

Me (while walking quicker and looking other way) :- *mumble mumble* *keeps walking faster avoiding eye contact*

My mate (at work) :- What did you say to them?

Me (at work by now) :- I told them to go fuck themselves and flicked his clipboard out his fat hand.
 

Tom

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Complain to the council, I think there are strict limits on the number of people who are allowed to accost you in this way.

Personally I hate the twunts who hand out leaflets. You see it all the time, somebody accepts a leaflet, glances at it, and throws it away. Such a waste of paper. Which brings me onto hand delivered junk mail. No matter how many times I tell them not to put it through my letterbox, they ignore me the next time.

People are so ignorant. The other day, I was talking to this guy and his phone rang, he just cut me off mid-conversation, and started talking on the phone. So annoying. But not as annoying as having the battery on your phone run out while.....





...hang on, what were we talking about?
 

~Yuckfou~

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One of my pet hates is people trying to get me to sign up for a credit card in Motorway service stations. I'm in a hurry, I've only stopped for a piss and I don't make important financial decisions at motorway service stations. Also their opening line is usually "do you have a credit card", non of their fucking business tbh, "what is the balance on your credit card" again non of their fucking business.
One asked me the above, I tried to be polite "I'm fine thanks", cheeky twat said "I'm glad you are in good health but would like to talk to you about your credit card", I told him to fuck off, he seemed insulted.


/edit
Forgot to mention the charity collectors outside supermarkets. " Yes I've just spent £150 on groceries, I'd love to give you what money I have left"
 

Whipped

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Panda On Smack said:
Where abouts Whipped?

cant say ive ever seen many poeple asking questions. dont go into town very much though to be honest so maybe thats why!
The main high street. From the Town hall all the way up to the Post office there are at least 10 clipboarders.
Which brings me onto hand delivered junk mail. No matter how many times I tell them not to put it through my letterbox, they ignore me the next time.
Do the classic one. Collect all the hand delivered junk until you get some junk that has a pre-paid envolope. Insert as much of your junk mail into it as you can and post it off.
 

Covenant

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~Yuckfou~ said:
One of my pet hates is people trying to get me to sign up for a credit card in Motorway service stations.
Or those fuckers that try to sell you watches, they're another pet hate at service stations. You're almost a captive audience.
 

xane

Fledgling Freddie
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Whipped said:
Do the classic one. Collect all the hand delivered junk until you get some junk that has a pre-paid envolope. Insert as much of your junk mail into it as you can and post it off.
I was seriously thinking of starting a club, where every month a random junk mailer is picked from the entire members directory of victims, and everyone in the club remails all their junk mail to them for the next month.

You do not need a prepaid envelope. Just insert as much junk as you can then write "not known at this address" on it.

Quantity is not a factor. Just one junk mail is enough to get your company on the list.
 

throdgrain

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Theres loads in Crawley too, though I must admit none have ever asked me anything. Its probably the way I dress and look I suppose :)
 

Shovel

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I keep meaning to get myself a clipboard. Market Street is dead busy on a Saturday, but it's like the parting of the Red Sea around the clipboard people, very tempting to claim some benefit for their suffering ;)
 

Daf

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theres a lot my city centre recently too.

ive done a couple of the surveys, one gave me a free gift (a lighter) the other £2 boots vouchers :)
 

Gumbo

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On the junk mail thing, if only everyone did that it would start to cost the mailing companies a fortune, quick bored jobless person, start the campaign!

I've found the pushiest, most obnoxious clipboard waving lot are GreenPeace in Norwich, I pretty much just say, 'I'm not interested.' and walk on. I wish I had the guts to scream, 'Just Fuck OFF!!!!!' at them :(
 

Mofo8

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Whipped said:
The main high street. From the Town hall all the way up to the Post office there are at least 10 clipboarders.

Do the classic one. Collect all the hand delivered junk until you get some junk that has a pre-paid envolope. Insert as much of your junk mail into it as you can and post it off.
I did this on two occasions when I stayed at my previous address. It gives you an enormous feeling of satisfaction. You could go one better and scrawl FUCK OFF in marker pen over all the leaflets you're putting in the envelope. I don't get any junk mail to speak of at my present address, so that feeling of satisfaction is denied me.

I had one of them market research phone calls the other night, and I always agree to take part 'cause I'm curious what they're going to be about, and I hear stories of people getting free goodies. It was some kinda fast food research shite though. I just gave really negative answers about all the companies (MacDonalds, Wimpey, Burgers King, and all that lot) and said the only one I eat from was Dominos. I reminded me of that episode of The Office where David Brent has the fat bloke Keith in to talk about some form he'd filled out incorrectly. The appraisal one where he keeps repeating the bloody same options over and over again, except I didn't ask the silly cow to keep repeating the options over and over and over again, and she kept speaking from her script every time I tried to shorten the process by jumping in with an answer. Cow!
 

SilverHood

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Get these in Bournemouth all the time...
I just stick my earphones in my ears, and look straight ahead, bobbing my head to the beat until they're out of sight.
 

WPKenny

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I get these when I'm on my way to the train station. It's a fine line I tread trying to get out of the office in time and avoid the obstical course of directionally challenged people which is made worse when these fecking clipboard wielding twats are about. It's just after 5, people don't want to stop for a fucking chat, they want to get home and relax as fast as fucking possible.

I'd love to tell them to fuck off but at least I have a genuine excuse...

"Can't stop! Got a train to catch!"
 

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