Chuck norris denies he pushes the world down

[Darksword]

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx

is this a cover up? i think so

 

[Raven]

agaist all odds...the justice riders???? oh dear oh dear

 

[Ironfalcon]

Chuck norris is my god! xD

 

[Laddey]

Why does everybody <3 chuck? He looks like a OAP now Hogan > Chuck Florrist

 

[Saveus]

gotta love chuck, and some funny things atm on net.

: Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norrise brough a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norrise roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck to remind the crew that once more, the chuck giveth, and the good chuck taketh away.

:Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. WHen the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

:Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, ' Of Course I can I'm CHuck Norrise" and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

:OMG MR. CHUCK WHAT TIME IS IT? 2 seconds till....... TO SECONDS TILL WHAT.. "boom as chuck roundhouse kicks him.

:When CHuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "dont worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back 5 mins later with a live turkey, ate it whole, then he threw it up a few seconds later and it was fully cooked, and came with craberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had doent it, he gave her a roundhouse kick the the face and said, " Never qyestion Chuck Norrise"

:Chuck Norris Invented water

:One time while sparring with Wolvering, Chuck Norrise accidentally lost his left testical. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

:Chuck Norrise sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

: Chuck Norris does not sleep.............. he waits


gotta love what people can come up with.

 

[soze]

In 1997, Chuck achieved another milestone in his life by being the first man ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition

TBH thats why you would not want to spill his pint or piss on his shoe.

 

[Morchaoron]

so basically he says like:
"yeyeye i dont care but while were on the subject: buy my crap!"

 

[Laddey]

TBH thats why you would not want to spill his pint or piss on his shoe.

lol irl. I would beat chuck norris so easily!

 

[Darksword]

lol irl. I would beat chuck norris so easily!

whats your background?

 

[Rediknight]

whats your background?

he lives on the moon

Chuck Norris could kick you so hard you wouldn't even notice until a fortnight ago...

 

[Darksword]

he lives on the moon

Chuck Norris could kick you so hard you wouldn't even notice until a fortnight ago...

then he does pwn chuck norris, tho the moon isnt a massive asteroid or whatever circling the earth, it is indeed chuck norris' 3rd testicle.

i ment fighting background hehe

 

[evzy]

Shameless plugging of crappy "Wild West" books......oh dear Chuck..oh dear...

Looks like he roundhouse kicked himself into cheeseville imo......

If he was a real man he wouldn't be able to read or write as all his time would be spent kicking ass!*






*this statement was written by my lil helper as I am too busy myself to learn to read or write - he just points out pictures to me and makes the rest of the shit up.

 

[evzy]

Just found this on the Chuck website as well.........wtf!!!

"Some of his students were Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie & Marie Osmond."

The Osmonds....wtf kind of self respecting hard man would have them as students ??????

Time for Chuck to go stand facing the corner...for 100years imo...

What next? Mr T teaches Sooty and Sweep the fine art of ripping off heads?

 

[Laddey]

whats your background?

My dads a boxer, my mothers in jail and i'm a ex-copper?

 

[Rellik]

so basically he says like:
"yeyeye i dont care but while were on the subject: buy my crap!"

Agreed Chuck Norris is now officially a whore

 

[Darksword]

My dads a boxer, my mothers in jail and i'm a ex-copper?

cool i ment fighting background, chuck norris would still kick most peoples ass' he is actually certified in various martial arts, and although traditional martial arts dont have much carry over to the real world fights, its still more than the average person etc etc etc.

was just wondering if u had any actual training (even if its self training)

 

[Laddey]

I'd get me mum to shoot le fooker. No i have no martial art backgrounds, i've been boxing like 10 times and intend to take it up when i go in the army and knock Amihr(sp) Kahn out.!

 

[Darksword]

I'd get me mum to shoot le fooker. No i have no martial art backgrounds, i've been boxing like 10 times and intend to take it up when i go in the army and knock Amihr(sp) Kahn out.!

haha good luck with the army, u run 8 miles a day dont u? (remember reading u say that on here) - nice, fitness = tres important in the army.

 

[Laddey]

Aye 3-8 mile every morning. Who cares i jog 8 mile every other day. That's before my bacon & egg & sasauge & fried tomato & mushroom sandwich!

 

[Darksword]

Aye 3-8 mile every morning. Who cares i jog 8 mile every other day. That's before my bacon & egg & sasauge & fried tomato & mushroom sandwich!

i wnat a fry up being strict/semi strict with my diet, trying to cut weight and get fitness up rar

 

[Laddey]

i wnat a fry up being strict/semi strict with my diet, trying to cut weight and get fitness up rar

Pfft wish i could diet, i'm 6 foot 1 inch, weighing 11stone, i look like a rake but 11stone is phat for somebody under 6foot. (PS I'm 17 so i'm tall and heavy xD but look le fooken skinny)

 

[Eeben]

Chuck norris is my god! xD

Ezteq is my god after that movie tbh

 

[Yshynsin]

Pfft wish i could diet, i'm 6 foot 1 inch, weighing 11stone, i look like a rake but 11stone is phat for somebody under 6foot. (PS I'm 17 so i'm tall and heavy xD but look le fooken skinny)

geeeez, im 15, im 6ft 2 and im 12 stone, and im not fat

 

[Darksword]

Pfft wish i could diet, i'm 6 foot 1 inch, weighing 11stone, i look like a rake but 11stone is phat for somebody under 6foot. (PS I'm 17 so i'm tall and heavy xD but look le fooken skinny)

lol ur not heavy, im 5'10" and just over 11 stone and not fat at all, im losing weight to hit 11stone, for my training, i should actually be going for 80kgs+, im at 74kgs now, but various reasons to cutting my weight down a tiny bit so meh.

11stone for 6'1 isnt fat, its starving. eat some grizzle

 

[fl3a]

hi im almost 15 stones at about 6'2''
and ill kick your ass if need be!

 

[Darksword]

hi im almost 15 stones at about 6'2''
and ill kick your ass if need be!

lol, just worked it out, i need to get to 170lbs/77kgs so i need to put on weight but gotta do it properly so

 

[Ironfalcon]

My dads a boxer, my mothers in jail and i'm a ex-copper?

ex-copper as in dirty copper? :worthy:

Ezteq is my god after that movie tbh

Pffft! Ezteq couldnt roundhouse kick you in the face... xD

i'd like to see that battle.. Ezteq vs Chuck..

first round would be ezteq doing her Y-M-C-A move...

 

[Laddey]

ex-copper as in dirty copper? :worthy:

I will beat you down boi!

 

[Dandare]

Why does everybody <3 chuck? He looks like a OAP now Hogan > Chuck Florrist

I agree my Idol Bruce Lee kicked his freaking arse in the seventies
Opps showing age again

 

[Laddey]

I agree my Idol Bruce Lee kicked his freaking arse in the seventies
Opps showing age again

lol, bruce lee's like what? 95?