Child Support Agency Forms

georgie

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The following are all replies that British women have entered on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details:
These are genuine excerpts from the forms.


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by James Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 36 Grant Street where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted.
If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates, it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a TV program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Road, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
 

pip

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Nov 28, 2004
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Gamah said:
You probably have the experiance in filling out scronge forms tbh.
HaHa not really,thought you was the man for the job:(
 

evzy

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The last one is an old Chubby Brown joke... Seriously doubt any of em are genuine either..
 

Yeke

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Jul 25, 2004
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Seen them before and like others doubt there authenticity, My missus works for the DWP and deals with these forms daily (as well as others) and I can tell you the real ones are far more ridiculous :p
 

Aiteal

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Jan 26, 2004
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A friend of mine got busted by the CSA
He split up for his ex and he was giving her 500 quid a month for their two daughters for 8 years, which is more than he had to pay if the csa got involved.

Bad thing was that he was handing her cash, despite everyone warning him that a cheque or standing order would be better, as he would have a record of it.

She then got caught working part-time whilst claiming benefits and the first thing they asked was "who is the dad, and is he not giving you money?"

He did the decent thing and told her to say that he wasn't as it would land her in even more hot soup if they found out.

So they took him to court and he now has to pay back 30 grand.
It goes straight out of his wages even before he sees it.
 

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