Can anyone get me out of the country?

[Stazbumpa]

Watch the skies around April 21st, and at the full moon and heralded by the howl of a lone wolf, the child of Staz shall walk the earth.

And you will know it by the trail of the dead.




Missus = pregnant.
Staz = :eek2:
I hope I get this fatherhood thing right.

 

[Trem]

Thats cracking news chum.

My son was 1 on Saturday and the first year of his life has flown. It is truly the most important thing that will ever happen to you.

I wasn't sure about the whole dad and son thing but give it 5 minutes with your baby and its like a duck to water.

One thing though....if possible don't be there at the birth, like throd told me its carnage and not at all nice.

Congrats to you both and well done for still being able to get it up at your age Staz.

 

[caLLous]

Congratulations staz.

I don't know you all that well but... if Trem can get his head around 'this fatherhood thing' then it can't be all that bad.


(wub trem)

 

[Stazbumpa]

Congrats to you both and well done for still being able to get it up at your age Staz.

Pants to you.





( )

 

[Trem]

I demand that Mrs Staz matches Samm's cake effort on your babies first birthday -

 

[Ono]

Nice one Staz matey. I've got 3 kids myself (youngest 4 months) so PM me if advice needed

 

[Clown]

Hedgehog

I want this cake.

 

[throdgrain]

Congrats Staz nice one

Awesome photo Trem

 

[GDW]

Conratulations. I disagree with Trem though. I was present at the birth of both my kids and it was the most amazing two experiences I have ever had.

 

[Sar]

Nice shot!

 

[Tilda]

Holy crap!
Congratulations!!
Also, that means I was concieved around this time

 

[Trem]

Conratulations. I disagree with Trem though. I was present at the birth of both my kids and it was the most amazing two experiences I have ever had.

Yeah I reckon 99% of dads say that but we had a home birth and my son had a difficult delivery.....it wasn't good.

Ok then, just have the baby at hospital and definately not at home.

 

[Tom]

Congratulations Staz, get down to Renault and put a deposit down on a Scenic!

 

[Huntingtons]

i've heard it's most relieving to give birth into a flaming pit =o

(seriously tho, grats a bunch. If i could i would become dad now myself, still too young tho)

 

[Utini]

And i was gonna call him a jaffa. Bah.

 

[Stazbumpa]

Cheers guys

To be honest I'm bricking it, I hope I'm cut out for this. I've kind of lived from day to day for the last 29 and a bit years, it was only in 2001 I got my first "proper" job for gods sake, and now I've got a small bundle of joy on the way.
Major shift in life priority literally overnight.
Not 100% sure if I can handle being at the birth, witnessing the missus doing her impression of Jack Nicholson in The Shining will probably kill any chance of ressurecting my love life faster than you can say "post natal depression".
Typical insensitive bloke thing, I know, but I don't want me and her to fall into the trap of losing everything we had before the baby came along and acting more like mates than partners. I've seen it way too many times with other couples.

Not looking forward to nappy changing either.


PS: @ Ono: Virile bugger

@ Tem: Mrs Staz will start with a grandious idea for a birthday cake but it will probably end up looking like the Somme battlefied in cake form.

@ Tom: Don't start, you wouldn't believe some of the crap I apparantly "have to buy" according to her ladyship.

 

[Gengi]

Well at least its not painful for your good self Staz

Like others who posted, I watched both of mine being born, first one by emergency caesarean, that was scary, in the wellie boots and surgical mask, buggers put up a screen though so I missed the actual slicing and dicing
Second one was 'normal' though still a bit gory, so don't worry too much about the 'partner thing', although saying that my kids were born 5 years apart .
Enjoy the whole experience as much as you can, it is worth it.

Later

 

[Trem]

Oh yeah, sex was put on hold for a loooooooooooooong time after I witnessed the stuff that comes out of Samms fun hole

My mate on the other hand said he couldn't wait to climb back on, he said he was chucking one over his mrs's back within 2 days, but she wouldn't let him have a proper go for a few weeks.

Its a bit wrong nowadays where dads are made to feel pressured into being at the birth, I told Samm I may bottle it and she understood, we had her mum there as backup. I did grit my teeth and stay the course though. It is in someways worse for the bloke as he is watching it all happen, he is looking down so to speak.

Samm did it on 2 aspirins, she didn't have any painkillers as the doctor gave us the wrong ones and she couldnt have the gas as it made her feel sick.

Women are teh tough!

 

[.Wilier.]

Hehe Congrat Staz, thats great news matey.

Mine are 3 and 6 now and Mrs Wil had them both by full anasthaetic (SP) cesarian (SP again) for medical reasons. They did let me witness Tilly's birth, but it all went pear shaped and I had to leave the theatre

Can honestly say that once youve spent 9 months lokking after Mrs Staz, and chatting to Bump Staz, you'll be well ready for fatherhood. Dont worry about nappies, we used real ones and they aint as bad as you would imagine.

Its hard work, but its well worth it

As for sex........if she does have a cesarian, forget it for at LEAST 4 months

 

[Stazbumpa]

I'm eternally hopefull. She's having the "leave me alone" phase which I'm told is normal in the first 3 months.

I'm getting cranky though.

On a slightly different note I was nearly mangled by a tractor on the way home from the jail (work) the other day. Not driving, doing the car share thing, but we were overtaking him and he then decided he was going to turn right at the same precise millisecond he clicked his indicator.
Which he didnt click until we were already halfway past him.

Anyway, missed 2 very deep, collar bone-breaking ditches, and made it into a field. Mate's car is poorly but fixable, engine ok and the only damage is to the front end, although the bonnet looked fine.

The tractor bloke was about to open his mouth and announce what dickheads we were until the car doors opened and 2 angry prison officers got out.
Told the missus that the car was upside down and on fire. She still isnt speaking to me

 

[Ch3tan]

Well count yourself lucky, you could have ended up like andy, or worse

At least you'll have a good story to tell your kid about the dangers of farmers and their toys.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Since i hate kids with a passion, i wouldn't say congrats to Staz, but since Staz's offspring lives nowhere near me and will not make my life a living hell in a bus or such, i will say congrats!

Though i think Staz is happy i live nowhere near the terror-to-be either

 

[SawTooTH]

Congrats. If you miss the birth you will regret it. It was an amazing experience for me seeing both my sons being born. If anything its good for the missus too having you there.

 

[Embattle]

Told the missus that the car was upside down and on fire. She still isnt speaking to me

Class, congrats as well for bringing another child of Satan into the world

 

[Wij]

Woot \o/

Major Gratz0r to Mr&Mrs Staz

 

[Stazbumpa]

She isn't exactly a "Mrs Staz" properly yet.

I say "yet", because guess what her, her mum and her bloody Nan have been hinting at with all the subtlety of a Challenger battle tank?
At least with her Nan I know its just an excuse for her to buy a new hat.


Being at the birth is something I think I will do, but I dont have to look, do I?

 

[Noghi]

Think you can start slowly, one eye at the time

 

[Wij]

Can I come ?

 

[Formash]

Can I come ?

Now theres a double entendre if everi heard one...

I could give the answer sensibly : 'Only if you pretend you're Mr Staz'
Or the rude one... 'Have u tried masturbation to find out?'

In all seriousness, Gratz to both the Staz's and the ickle staz to be...


If you're woried about the birth, download an old programme for schools video.. they always had a lady up the duff giving birth as i recall ...

 

[Stazbumpa]

I remember, Living and Growing wasn't it?

Was nearly sick too IIRC.



No probs Wij, I'm sure teh missus won't mind. Bring some mates and a few tins while your at it mate


(Me = so, so dead if she reads this)