Bullshit

[old.user4556]

set mode +rant.

I can't stand bullshit, people who bullshit, mates who bullshit, mates who bullshit so obviously that you can't even bare to be around them because they just string along elaborate lies and make-believe every fucking time you're with them. Sometimes it's about money, sometimes their job (getting a grandiose delusion of grandeur and how the company can't live without them), sometimes it's about how frequently they have the best sex ever even though they have a girlfriend with a face like a melted welly-boot, or it could be about the car they're going to buy (but never fucking materialises).

Why do some people (it's almost always men in my experience, or grans) feel the need to compulsively lie?

I don't know why I hate it so much, I just find it violently irritating.

Discuss?

-rant

I found this website whilst researching the subject - http://www.ihatebullshit.com/ - it's a great read, it's like Mank, Bodhi and Leggy have colaborated.

Or http://www.angelfire.com/extreme/audacity/paulisms.htm - so many of those are familiar.

 

[Tom]

Inadequacy.

 

[old.user4556]

Inadequacy.

Mmm indeed; but being a sensitive person I would never suggest it. Sometimes I really want to say "why do you talk so much utter shite? why do you fabricate so many things?" but i don't want to be seen as the one with a problem.

 

[ZiggY]

I have an 18inch penis

 

[Dommers]

I have a fungal infection on my face which has caused me to become blind.

 

[throdgrain]

Dont lie Big G ffs !!

 

[ZiggY]

I have a fungal infection on my face which has caused me to become blind.

Get well soon

 

[tris-]

i dont like this, exagerations or always insisting you are right even though everyone knows you are wrong.
one person i know who shall rename nameless, always insists he is right.

the funniest fucking damn thing he ever came out with is the following

"frozen sausages have a different plastic (ed: yes, a fucking plastic) on them which means they take longer to BBQ"

forget they are frozen. forget that sausages dont have plastic on them. hell no, it doesnt matter that they are freezing cold and unfrozen sausage isnt.

he insisted he was right. there is no arguing with him when he says something. in the end you just have to agree and laugh inside.

 

[Trem]

one person i know who shall rename nameless, always insists he is right.

BOG ROLL GOES UNDER AND 1 ROUND OF A BUTTY IS 1 SLICE!!!

 

[old.user4556]

BULLSHIT MR HAN MAN!

 

[tris-]

BOG ROLL GOES UNDER AND 1 ROUND OF A BUTTY IS 1 SLICE!!!

it wasnt trem. but one day trem did insist he sat on a calor gas bottle and it fully penetrated his anus and the valve popped out his mouth. then he said he walked around like a dragon spraying fire and destruction where ever he could.

 

[old.user4556]

fucking lol !

It's not so much people that always insist they're right, it's more people that make things up or sex things up to be something they're not.

Scenario1: text message from a girl saying "hello how are you? x"

Bullshitter says: I got a message from that stunning supermodel of a girl, says she misses me and put loads of kisses in her text - she must really like me.

Scenario 2: job agency phones and says "we've got a job here, salary range £20k-£35k depending on experience, we'll forward your CV because we think you're CV fits with the skill sets". <-- usually shitty line agencies feed.

Bullshitter says: "you'll never believe it, I got head hunted for a job today - says that i'm exactly what they require, salary is going to be at least £35k, probably more and i'm guaranteed the position more or less".

That sort of shite; can't help themselves.

 

[DaGaffer]

i dont like this, exagerations or always insisting you are right even though everyone knows you are wrong.
one person i know who shall rename nameless, always insists he is right.

the funniest fucking damn thing he ever came out with is the following

"frozen sausages have a different plastic (ed: yes, a fucking plastic) on them which means they take longer to BBQ"

forget they are frozen. forget that sausages dont have plastic on them. hell no, it doesnt matter that they are freezing cold and unfrozen sausage isnt.

he insisted he was right. there is no arguing with him when he says something. in the end you just have to agree and laugh inside.

Err, he's right, sort of. It's not 'plastic' exactly, but its artificial. When I was at school one of my mates' Dads ran a factory in Huddersfield that made 'natural' sausage skins, and he explained to us in mind-numbing detail how to tell natural sausage skins from 'plastic'. When I visited his family one weekend I got the same spiel from his Dad; shit like that stays with you, even twenty years later . Whether they take longer to BBQ or not, I have no idea.

 

[Bodhi]

I found this website whilst researching the subject - http://www.ihatebullshit.com/ - it's a great read, it's like Mank, Bodhi and Leggy have colaborated.

That site is genius, his rant on vegetarianism is absolutely spot on.

edit// I've found an even more genius comment on the veggie story "if we weren’t meant to eat animals, they wouldn’t be made of meat. Duh!" Can't really say fairer than that.....

 

[Ormorof]

"frozen sausages have a different plastic (ed: yes, a fucking plastic) on them which means they take longer to BBQ"

Traditionally, sausage casings were made of the intestines of animals. Today, however, natural casings are often replaced by collagen, cellulose or even plastic casings, especially in the case of industrially manufactured sausages

so sayeth Wikipedia

no idea how accurate it is... but there's quite alot that can be defined as plastics these days i bet

 

[lilmissnaughty]

no idea how accurate it is... but there's quite alot that can be defined as plastics these days i bet

yes michael jacksons face is even a trademarked form of plastic..

 

[ZiggY]

michael jackson has never had plastic surgery

 

[lilmissnaughty]

ZiggY


michael jackson has never had plastic surgery

HAHAHAHAHAHA
could u even type that an keep a straight face?
u am teh funnyzor meister
best joke i heard in ages

 

[ZiggY]

Whether they take longer to BBQ or not, I have no idea.

Im shocked that you have no idea:eek2:

 

[ZiggY]

HAHAHAHAHAHA
could u even type that an keep a straight face?
u am teh funnyzor meister
best joke i heard in ages

im his best mate so i know

 

[mank!]

personally i think mr. ihatebullshit.com is a bit of a **** who needs something worthwhile in his life.

for the record, i am a very pleasant and friendly person.

 

[tris-]

ok i should clarify the situation.

what he is saying is it takes longer because of the casing. no matter if you bought it frozen or not.
you could buy a fresh sausage and freeze it even. if you did that and give him it, he would say it was the casing that slows down cooking. not that its frozen.

 

[ZiggY]

Err, he's right, sort of. It's not 'plastic' exactly, but its artificial. When I was at school one of my mates' Dads ran a factory in Huddersfield that made 'natural' sausage skins, and he explained to us in mind-numbing detail how to tell natural sausage skins from 'plastic'. When I visited his family one weekend I got the same spiel from his Dad; shit like that stays with you, even twenty years later . Whether they take longer to BBQ or not, I have no idea.

Great story about sausage skins i can see why i stuck with you for 20 years LOL

 

[Doomy]

Depressives do this.

 

[Moo]

Pathalogical lying is a symptom of depression.


tell ur m8 to go see a counsellor.

 

[Sar]

G: Are you friends with Alistair Campbell?

 

[leggy]

Valentines Day just pisses me off. I walk into my local shop to buy a pint of cow’s tits and all I see are shelves full of heart shaped shit.

Pretty accurate.

 

[old.user4556]

for the record, i am a very pleasant and friendly person.

BULLSHIT MR MANK MAN

 

[old.user4556]

If any of you wonder wtf i mean, it's an Enter the Dragon quote.

http://hanman.ytmnd.com/

 

[Draylor]

Bullshit is great.