Best man speech

[tris-]

Is there an ideal length of time on these things? Ive got a lot of good material and props to use but I reckon I would push 20-30 minutes with the current ideas. I remember getting a bit bored at the last speech I sat through even though it was pretty funny, it must have went on for over 30 minutes.

 

[Ezteq]

30 mins is a good time span, I'd say think how long one can comfortably go (after drinking a lot) between needing to pee and base it on that lol.

 

[Marc]

Ive been best man 4 times now and my speeches were all no longer than 10 - 15 mins.

 

[kiliarien]

Ive been best man 4 times now and my speeches were all no longer than 10 - 15 mins.

Agree, leave it at that. Punchy, funny, heartfelt etc. but not too long.

Shit, I need this advice too, I'm a best man in Sept....

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Shit, I need this advice too, I'm a best man in Sept....

The story where you shagged the bride the night before the wedding always goes down a storm.

 

[old.Tohtori]

"What can i say that hasn't been already said? She's a bitch and he's a fag, here's to your future offspring, may they waste space like their parents "

Should go down well

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

I think I'd like Toh to be a best man

At someone else's wedding. And I'd only want to watch from a secure bunker with a live video feed.

 

[Jupitus]

My mate did a full 45 minutes on me and it is now stuff of legends, but then we have known each other since we were 2 so he had more than enough information

Aim for 20 mins if you have enough material to fill it without padding, don't go over 25 is what I'd say... good luck !

 

[Legaen]

Been a best man a few times and as said before 20 mins an ideal time tbh.

 

[Cadelin]

Is there an ideal length of time on these things? Ive got a lot of good material and props to use but I reckon I would push 20-30 minutes with the current ideas. I remember getting a bit bored at the last speech I sat through even though it was pretty funny, it must have went on for over 30 minutes.

Keep it short. Quality not quantity. You don't need to bring up every embarrassing thing he has ever done. One embarrassing story and one nice story to toast them too. If you can link them together ever better. Remember you're probably not as good a comedian as you think you are and depending on the wedding there will be people, children, grandparents etc who won't get it whatever.

My mate did a full 45 minutes on me and it is now stuff of legends, but then we have known each other since we were 2 so he had more than enough information

Good thing you didn't say since you were 2 foot tall because we would have had no idea how long you have known him for!


*runs*

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Good thing you didn't say since you were 2 foot tall because we would have had no idea how long you have known him for!


*runs*

Careful. The Lollipop guild have long memories.

 

[kiliarien]

"What can i say that hasn't been already said? She's a bitch and he's a fag, here's to your future offspring, may they waste space like their parents "

Should go down well

I like the idea of saying

"From the moment I met Sarah I knew she was the one for my best friend. She's kind, generous, thoughtful and funny, and of course it goes without saying she's gorgeous. So why the f**k he's marrying Claire I'll never know..."

And then run.....fast.

 

[fettoken]

Double post.

 

[fettoken]

I like the idea of saying

"From the moment I met Sarah I knew she was the one for my best friend. She's kind, generous, thoughtful and funny, and of course it goes without saying she's gorgeous. So why the f**k he's marrying Claire I'll never know..."

And then run.....fast.

Negs Urban Wedding, this is how you do it:

*inserts Kiliariens quote*

See how long you dare to stay put, points for each second.

When you feel threatened, leg it!!

 

[Ch3tan]

Keep it to 10 minutes max.

 

[Calaen]

Mine lasted between 10-15 minutes.

 

[Deebs]

Been a best man a few times and I always aim for no more than 15 minutes as people will get bored and distracted. Keep it witty and funny.

 

[tris-]

problem solved, he told me to make it five minutes.

 

[kirennia]

I was just going to say, 20 minutes?!?!?!

The speech will most likely be done after the food, during which time the brides father has to speak as well as the groom... they'll go on for a long time as they have things important to say...

...The best mans part should be quick and punchy, 5-10 minutes. I'd suggest writting down enough material for 10 minutes but make sure you can skip certain parts if it's starting to drag on a bit.

I just did a prolonged masterbation joke, wished them luck then made up a poem about how gay he was... Juvenile humour but then, you're supposed to show the juvenile side to the groom as the best man...

 

[Ezteq]

problem solved, he told me to make it five minutes.

here you go Tris:

May the newlyweds be stupidly happy for the rest of their lives and may their babies be small and without sharp corners...Dreeeeeeeeenk!!!!


job done.

 

[TdC]

what she said tbh. I was going to say "keep it short and to the point" and also, don't forget to mention the time your mate caught hep off a prozzie and or the time he accidentally picked up a tranny or something. or maybe not.

 

[Olgaline]

YouTube - ‪Rowan Atkinson With Friends Like These‬‎