Best Man Speech

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
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Anyone had the pleasure of giving one?
 

old.Tohtori

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Nope.

Probably never will, not really into the whole mwedding thingy. Anyhoop, i guess "Dear friends and family, i'd like to say i'm really glad i made it with the brid...here today." would be a good way to start :p
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
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oh i have done it just not sure if it will go down well enough :p
 

Levin

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I've done it, or well.. i sang him a song instead. :p
 

Drusus

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Done it twice so far...
Having to stand up in front of a lot of strangers and ppl you know well, very nerve wracking =/
 

Huntingtons

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just tell them some embrassing story from his childhood were he showed his tiny weeny to a girl or smth and then what a man he became and shes a lucky girl and she needs to take care of him coz now you cant!
 

Marc

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Done 3 mate, piece of piss. Obviously nervous at first but the nerves soon go when everyone starts laughing, then you have them eating out of your hands and you dont wanna stop. You have to remember, people are having a great time and will find your speech funny, even if its not.
 

Marc

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Did the groom play any team sports?
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
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Football, I was less nervous at my on wedding day than I am which is bizzare because we had 300 guests at our speech, and there is only going to be about 80 there on Saturday.

I know the nerves will go after the first joke I am just shit at telling jokes :p

I am looking at it to much trying to get it all in my head, instead of just taking it easy and letting it come out like it is going to come out.
 

Marc

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Well one of my mates played rugby when he was younger. I had a card with me and I read out "Unfortunately, Steves mates from Blackpool Stanley rugby club cannot be here today, but they did send a card. We found Steve to be useless in every position, we all hope Lyndsey has more success". Thats guarnteed to get a good laugh.

Whats your ice breaker? I used the same one for each speech

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the best man. In time honoured tradition, I will now do my best to give <Groom> the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of <Bride> life will be happening later on this evening, curtesy of <Groom>.

Again, its guaranteed a laugh from the people in attendence. Once you get the first laugh out of the way, its easy.
 

Calaen

I am a massive cock who isn't firing atm!
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Please excuse my nerves, I asked a friend of mine for advice and he told me to use bicycle clips for the bottom of my trousers. I did not understand what they were for until I stood up. :p that is mine.
 

Jolo

Fledgling Freddie
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Yup, been there, done that, pissed the groom off hehe ... left his relatives in a state of shock ... that kind of thing :)

Don't worry about it, just crack a funny that puts the groom down, say something nice about the missus and the bridesmaids, drink lots!

Enjoy! :)
 

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